Making Waves

Back in March Netflix premiered a series called  13 Reasons Why . Originally, I had no idea what the show was about until I later learned it was about the suicide of a young teenager who took her own life, after enduring bullying from some of her cruel peers. The main character, Hannah Baker, records 13 cassette tapes narrating all the events that led to her suicide. I felt drawn and especially connected to the series, as I was bullied in middle school. Middle school was a rough season for me, and as much as I tried to just get through it, it wasn’t easy. I got picked on for things like the way I looked, the clothes I wore, being a Christian, and for my many failed attempts with trying to be accepted by the cool kids. And just when I thought I’d get a fresh start in high school, one of the guys on the football team humiliated me in front of a crowd of my peers when he called me a loser, and said that I was a nobody that sucked at life. What was wild about that particular incident...

I just think a certain group of people don’t like the police , she said. I don’t think that most people dislike like them, except for a certain group of people. The person who said this was white. And it didn’t end there. She also felt comfortable to express this thought, because she was once in an interracial relationship with a black man, and had two mixed children from that relationship, so she felt her stance was accurate with no room for disagreement. She thought she was right, and that those of us who disagreed with her were wrong. I wasn’t going to say anything (as I don’t enjoy conflict, let alone conversations about race or the issues minorities have with law enforcement) but I couldn’t stay quiet. Not this time. One day a colleague of mine (who’s black) shared that he wouldn’t want to be a cop and that it’s the most hated job on the planet. He also went on to share why, and his reasons went without saying, at least from my point of view. Immediately, I was able to ...

When I was 11 I wrote a fan letter to Sarah Michelle Gellar. To my surprise, I got a response. At the time I was obsessed with her show  Buffy the Vampire Slayer and wanted to let her know how much I loved it. Looking back, writing a letter with anticipation of getting a response was naïve but I believed something would happen if I did, so I went for it. (Imagine what would happen for you if you possessed that kind of faith as an adult.) Even more surprising was the fact that my parents let me watch the show. I was raised Christian and remember a church member at the time referring to the show as “demonic”, but if my parents didn’t have a problem with me watching it, I was unbothered. At the time, I thought there was no one cooler than a butt kicking teenager who fought vampires, went to high school, and had close friends. Buffy Summers was awesome . I can’t remember exactly what I wrote in the letter, but I do remember how excited I was to see a letter from California waiting f...

We met once. I had no intentions of seeing or running into this guy ever again. But when he took it upon himself to crash my girls night out and insult me in the process, things got weird.   A few weeks ago I met a guy who seemed very interested in me. On sight, he wasn’t someone I’d usually give a chance but since I’d been on a whole I’m open to all kinds of guys thing for awhile (which I’m now ditching and with legitimate reasons…) I felt at the very least, I could still be kind. We briefly chatted and when we talked a number of red flags went off in my head, but me being me was just trying to be nice . As our talk ended and we parted ways he handed me his phone and said, I know you said you’re just open to friendship at the moment but we should grab coffee, sometime. When are you free? I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I gave him my number and told him I’m really busy and have a lot going on right now, so I’ll just let you know. Honestly, I didn’t feel comfortable w...

A lot of people don’t know how to be good friends. Mutual respect, genuine love, trust, consistency, and loyalty are traits hard to come by. I haven’t had too many friendships that consisted of those things. I have however, had plenty of shallow ones. Shallow, consisting of everything from hundreds of social media friends I don’t consider to be real friends, some peers I may have shared classes with, people I’ve attended church services with, a handful of folks I have things in common with, and some who I’ve met in passing. See the differences? One morning, I thought about all the different friends that have come in and out of my life, and the first thing I thought was, we were friends for a season and that’s okay. Whenever I’ve considered someone a friend, I really loved them. Which is why no matter whom they were or how we parted ways, I always felt those voids when things unexpectedly shifted. Most of the time some of my ended friendships weren’t instant, we’re over, cases but man...

In March the Power Rangers movie came out. When I saw it, I loved it and to my surprise, I wasn’t the only grown up in the movie theater (as there were other adults present and filled with as much excitement as kids.) Originally, I was hesitant about seeing it, especially since a bunch of different television versions came out that weren’t too great. I’ve been a Power Rangers fan since the original series aired and I believe the original version was definitely the best. Kimberly, the Pink Ranger and Pterodactyl, was always my favorite and I even had an action figure when I was a kid. I thought she was so cool . She was girly and could kick butt, what’s not to like? Overall, I was impressed with the remake and thought it was well done. The storyline, cast, and action delivered beyond my expectations and the fact that the Red Ranger was a total hottie helped too lol. I also loved the diversity of the cast and the chemistry that flowed. It’s nice when remakes are made that don’t compl...

I’ve officially joined the full-time working world. Turns out, adulting isn’t nearly as scary as I thought. It actually feels strangely surreal. While transitioning has had its challenges, I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, and I’m slowly but steadily easing into things. My career path has brought me full circle or rather God has, in a way I didn’t anticipate. Instead of fighting against it, I’m embracing it and learning to enjoy it. I thought landing my dream career would be one of the best things that happened to me, and to my surprise, I learned something better was waiting for me. A little while ago I asked God to help me desire what He desires for me (even if what He desired look odd, strange, and made zero sense) and I went His way. I know this much – it’s no secret who will win in a boxing match between His will and mine. So, as I continue this new chapter in my young adult life, I’m moving forward with an open mind and an inner peace knowing that all things are work...

What was cute, funny, and okay in my early twenties is no longer acceptable as I’m getting older. When I think about some of the fun yet crazy, stupid, and sometimes downright reckless things I did in my early twenties, I think about how cool it’d be to have a time machine, just so I could go back and do things differently. I was very immature, naïve, and did a lot of wandering. Now, at 27, I’m still growing but remembering some important lessons I’ll never forget. In my early twenties, I’d do things and put up with a lot of different stuff that I’d never stand for now. Sadly, I see a lot of people around my age or older who don’t want to grow up. A lot of them seem fine hanging around the same people who support their immaturity, while making unwise choices, and refusing to grow up. When I was in my early twenties I had an immature and unrealistic outlook on things like friendship, money, guys, dating, and finding love and I also dived into things that could’ve destroyed my witness ...

I’m fire when I’m focused. Regardless of what may be happening around me, I can do anything I’m trying to complete if I’m in a posture of focus. When I’m focused I’m centered and unbothered by any distractions, or disruptions that may try to interfere with anything I’ve got going on. These days, it’s important to be able to come into focus, especially if you’re working towards something that’s important for you to accomplish. When you’re focused, you can’t and shouldn’t be worried about what someone else has going on, or be so easily deterred that you don’t take care of what needs to be taken care of. I’ve experienced what getting off focus can do, and it’s not worth it. Ultimately, not being focused can cost you valuable time, opportunities, and bring unnecessary disappointments. Do you think any of those things are worth getting off focus for? If you’re serious about changing your life, accomplishing your goals, or any dreams you have in mind, they’ll definitely require incredible a...

My ambition almost ruined me. If it wasn’t for God and my willingness to be obedient, I would’ve set myself back in ways that could’ve been tough to recover from. For a little over a month incredible things have been happening to me. I managed to land a full time job, get offers on top of offers for incredible career opportunities, one of which was a dream position where I’d be able to write, be creative, work with people around my age, and be in the city, just like I’ve wanted since I was a little girl. In the midst of all this excitement, there was also a guy who seemed God sent (but I quickly learned that I was wrong.) I’ve prayed for my dream career and dream guy for a long time, and when it seemed that both were aligning at once, I found myself excited, overwhelmed, and filled with turmoil and reservations. The dream job was one that any writer could appreciate. It seemed fitting for my degree in English and sounded perfect, but once I was offered the position my spirit didn...

More often than not, I’m usually right about people when I meet them. The discernment I possess is a powerful gift.  I’m great at sensing whether someone’s authentic or not, which is why it doesn’t surprise me or catch me off guard when I find out someone’s been talking badly about me (and thinks I don’t know), is being fake, or walks away. These three things reveal themselves when I simply, pause and pay attention. When this happened with someone I was acquainted with some time ago, I thought, Should I really be surprised? They’ve already shown me the kind of person they are. I always pray that God covers me when it comes to my blind spots, especially in regards to people, because I can see where my willingness to be open to and with different people I shouldn’t have, ended up causing some issues and ultimately ended up being a waste of time. I wish I was wrong about different people I’ve known, many of which I’ve grown to love (closely and from a distance) but I’m getting better...

One afternoon I stumbled across an internet commercial called Whispers. It featured actress, Jessica Alba and in it she reveals all the criticism she heard whispered about her, as she made moves in her career and lived out her dreams. In the end she says, “Luckily, one voice didn’t whisper. It shouted from somewhere down deep. And it drowned out all the other voices. And it was my own.” I love the commercial and have watched it so many times since seeing it. When I think about critical things people say, sometimes, I wonder, “Why did they say that? “ and when I can identify where the criticism may be coming from, I move on to keep working towards whatever it is that I’m aiming to accomplish. I’ve had whisperers in my own life, and occasionally still cross paths with people who apparently have extra time on their hands, to be worried about what I’m doing. I’ve heard different things like, good girls finish last, boys are smarter than girls, English majors don’t get jobs, you’re ugly, ...

Discontent is defined as a lack of contentment and dissatisfaction with one’s circumstances. Weighing contentment and discontent came to my mind some time ago, and I thought about all the things I’ve wanted (some of which I’ve obtained) that I thought I’d be content with once I got them. Turns out, I was wrong. I’m not discontented about anything at the moment, but after digging deeper into the “why?” of everything I’ve worked towards, wanted, and received I realized there’s nothing that could ever make me feel like I’ve arrived in life. My contentment isn’t and shouldn’t be based on material things, accomplishments, status, or what I can get, because I’m often reminded that none of those things will ever make me feel whole. Only God can do that. I wrote out a list of different things and asked myself, “Why do you want this and what are you getting out of it?” My list consisted of the following… A college degree – for knowledge, education, and a ticket to open doors, opportunities...

One of the things I can count on as a writer and a human being is sometimes, being misunderstood. Whenever it happens it’s usually not comfortable and in my mind I think that’s not what I meant , but these days, people can easily misinterpret anything you say, do, and/or post. Consider this example – The Black Lives Matter  movement was built with great intentions only to be flipped by some people who are under the impression that anytime someone says, Black Lives Matter, it must mean that others lives don’t (which is definitely not the case.) See what I mean? People like to spin and flip stuff real fast, and it’s crazy how often it happens. When I receive backlash on anything I’ve said, written, or reposted on social media, one side of me would love to tell people who seem to have a problem, “Please, go have several seats…” but the mature side of me can recognize that clapping back at others isn’t worth risking the power, position, and influence I’ve worked hard for. It’s...

I believe the thought, “I should’ve waited…” crosses people’s minds all the time. I’ve sat with this thought myself, when I think about different things I wish I would’ve approached differently, knowing what I know now. I’ve discovered how unwise it is to make decisions based off emotions, off of what your family and friends are doing, or rather appear to be doing, and have seen how detrimental not waiting has been in the lives of different people I know. It’s a constant reminder to me, of the importance in doing things God’s way, and the wonderful gift of delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is defined as resisting a temptation for a smaller and immediate award, while enduring and holding out for a bigger and better reward. Basically, short term sacrifices for a long term benefit kind of thing. I believe that delayed gratification is a sign of maturity. A sign of immaturity is wanting what you want right away, without thinking of the bigger picture, and as unwise as it is to ...

Awhile back I streamed a sermon from one of my favorite speakers, T.D. Jakes. It was titled The Choice That Breaks The Curse. He spoke about curses, and how some of the negative things you say can have the power to curse yourself and/or others. Words are powerful and can have an incredible impact, whether people realize it or not. In the sermon he said, “To curse me is to speak wickedness against my future.” It’s important to be careful what you say to people, especially during times when you may be upset. Think about times when someone may have said something to you out of anger, or times when you may have said something hurtful to someone, because you were upset with them. That’s speaking wickedness against another person’s future.  Even if it’s not done with intent, the damage it causes is hard to reverse, even if apologies happen. I wish I didn’t remember some of the negative things that were said to me in the past, as well as negative things I’ve said when I was in a heighte...

I love brunch. I’m great with cooking most breakfast meals, but I much prefer dining out for brunch vs. making it, so if you’re a Hampton Roads resident or just happen to be passing through the area, I’ve put together a list of some of the best spots I’ve been to that are definitely worth checking out. Enjoy! Bonefish Grill BRAVO Cucina Italiana Citrus Commune Cracker Barrel Duck Donuts (which mostly sells donuts but is still worth checking out. Their maple bacon donut is incredible.) Esoteric Hair of the Dog Eatery Mary’s Restaurant Waterman's Surfside Grille And if you’re in the mood for great coffee, the following places are pretty dope as well… :) CURE Coffeehouse and Brasserie Java Surf Café & Espresso Bar Roast Rider Three Ships Coffee Roasters What are some of your favorite brunch and/or coffee spots? 

I got a taste of my dream job in the city, and I didn’t have to relocate to New York City (like I thought I would) for it to happen. I always imagined and considered relocation, should a great career opportunity arise, but I think the Lord wants me to stay put…for now, anyways. I believe there are different things He wants to do in my life where I’m at, before He launches me out elsewhere, and if that’s what He wants, I’m willing to be obedient. The dream job fit great with my English degree and to my surprise, I was sought after for the opportunity. I had the chance to sit down with a kind and friendly professional, who took a liking to my writing, while offering constructive criticism, and feedback I’ll never forget. I’m keeping a lot of the details to myself, but what I will share about the meeting is that everything I saw from the setting, to the friendly and diverse professionals, to the office view, felt like a flashback of what I’d seen in New York City during a past visit. I f...

At the March on Washington Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. mentioned the “fierce urgency of now” in regards to our divided nation moving forward together, to make things better. While there’s been some progress, there’s still lots of work that needs to be done. The concept of the “fierce urgency of now” is something that occupies my mind often. When I wake up, I’m already in an urgent state of mind. I believe that time is valuable and precious, and shouldn’t be wasted, which is why I can’t understand why some people waste time. I hate wasting time and I certainly don’t enjoy having my time wasted, which is why one of my biggest pet peeves is lateness. I understand that things happen, and I can even understand running five minutes behind, but if someone continually makes lateness a habit, I get annoyed; especially if we’ve made plans in advance. I’ve been late before, but I’m a prompt person – most, if not all of the time. I also recognize that time stops for no one. This is why I’m urgent...

I believe in having crazy, wild, and absolutely ridiculous - faith. Yes, I’ve been ridiculed for possessing this kind of faith, but I’ve also reaped huge blessings from it as well. Hebrews 11:1 reads, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Faith is the kind of thing where you prepare for things that haven’t manifested just yet. Believers should grasp this but I’ve seen that many don’t, and this is not okay. I’ve also watched sinners have unwavering faith, and have things come together in their lives in incredible ways. To be honest, I used to feel some type of way about that. I used to be like, God, are you kidding me? I’m saved, I live right. I pray, worship, give, fast, and I’m faithful. How come they’re prospering over me like that? I know that can be interpreted as judgmental, but when I would see unsaved folks prospering over saved folks living for the Lord, sometimes, it left me perplexed. Ultimately, I learned it’s none of my business h...