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This Is The Way…

My ambition almost ruined me. If it wasn’t for God and my willingness to be obedient, I would’ve set myself back in ways that could’ve been tough to recover from. For a little over a month incredible things have been happening to me. I managed to land a full time job, get offers on top of offers for incredible career opportunities, one of which was a dream position where I’d be able to write, be creative, work with people around my age, and be in the city, just like I’ve wanted since I was a little girl. In the midst of all this excitement, there was also a guy who seemed God sent (but I quickly learned that I was wrong.) I’ve prayed for my dream career and dream guy for a long time, and when it seemed that both were aligning at once, I found myself excited, overwhelmed, and filled with turmoil and reservations.

The dream job was one that any writer could appreciate. It seemed fitting for my degree in English and sounded perfect, but once I was offered the position my spirit didn’t feel right. I already had a full time job, one that I knew the Lord opened up for me. However, since I was sought after for my dream job, and the people involved took an interest in me, I thought, maybe God wants to bless me with this, when what he was really saying was, “It’ll happen, just not right now. Wait…” I was clearly wrong, and if I had done what I wanted to do, I probably would’ve lost the job anyway, and ruined my opportunity with His original offer. I’m so glad I didn’t. Not only did I receive confirmation from the Lord, but I also got signs from my parents and a close friend, who all felt that the opportunity sounded great, but encouraged me to weigh my options. I ultimately decided to go with God’s choice, even though it meant turning down my dream.

The seemingly dream guy was interesting. I originally thought God had someone else in mind for me, but when the person I thought he picked wasn’t it, I thought another guy I recently met was, and boy was I wrong. When he approached me, I wasn’t interested or impressed with him on sight but since he made a move, I thought, why not be open? He seemed chill but he came on too strong, thirsty, and a bit insecure once we talked more. There were also a number of red flags that came up as we chatted. So, while I responded to one “It was nice to meet you…” text, I decided to cut all communication, because I knew it wasn’t right. I didn’t want to lead him on with false hope. I was wrong, again.

At the same time all this was going on, I noticed how random texts and phone calls from casual friends started coming in as well. This usually happens when I’m going through some exciting changes, not because these friends are concerned for my wellbeing, but mostly because they either want or need something, or are just trying to be nosey. A few months ago I would’ve found this annoying, but this time around; I just treaded softly and stayed quiet.

Isaiah 30:21 reads, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

God opened the door for me in one place that wasn’t my first choice, so how coincidental was it that after His door opened, a ton of others did at the same time? Sometimes, you have to have the strength to say, no, so you can say yes, later.  I always thought I would leave my hometown, move to the city, start a new life and writing career, and eventually partner with a great guy along the way. While those things can still happen, I can recognize that it’s better to do things God’s way. If I had taken that position because it was what I wanted and dreamed of, or went for guys that appeared to be interesting, just because they showed interest, then I would’ve brought unnecessary setbacks in my life, that I don’t want or need. The job God opened the doors to is the way, the guy He has in mind for me is the way, and we’ll connect when we’re meant to, without force, tampering, or hesitation.

When I released my dreams, my spirit felt more at ease. The turmoil and reservations I had were because what I wanted wasn’t God’s best. If taking his offer means peace, protection and being opened up to better – I’m all in.


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