One of the things I can count on as a writer and a
human being is sometimes, being misunderstood. Whenever it happens it’s usually
not comfortable and in my mind I think that’s
not what I meant, but these days, people can easily misinterpret anything
you say, do, and/or post.
Consider this example – The Black Lives Matter movement was built with great intentions only
to be flipped by some people who are under the impression that anytime someone
says, Black Lives Matter, it must
mean that others lives don’t (which is definitely not the case.) See what I
mean? People like to spin and flip stuff real fast, and it’s crazy how often it
happens.
When I receive backlash on anything I’ve said,
written, or reposted on social media, one side of me would love to tell people
who seem to have a problem, “Please, go have several seats…” but the mature side
of me can recognize that clapping back at others isn’t worth risking the power,
position, and influence I’ve worked hard for. It’s especially not worth it to
go back and forth with people who, quite frankly, aren’t worth a response or
reaction. I’ve experienced and shared different things that taught
me how to better handle these situations. Brace yourself - some of
them may cause giggles…
I’m a huge cheerleader for single women. While I believe
singleness should be celebrated, I pulled back on posting different things
about it on social media after a married social media friend, along with some
other domesticated twenty-something’s, felt that my celebration of singleness, and
a refusal to settle was attacking the institution of marriage. That wasn’t my
intent but it was an example of some people taking things the wrong way. Just
because I advocate for single women, doesn’t mean I have a disliking towards
marriage or anyone in a relationship. Would you believe something similar
happened again, after I posted an insightful Cosmopolitan article about not participating in the popular fad of
gender reveal parties? Crazy.
On one occasion, I had an opportunity to write for a
platform that seemed great at the time. When I submitted my original piece I
knew it would be edited (as this is the case with most writing submissions) but
was appalled to see the title of it, edited in a way that was a false representation
of me. When I saw it, it rubbed me the wrong way. The title of the piece I
wrote could easily give anyone who read it, the wrong impression. I felt like I
should have been contacted before it was changed and published, but I learned a
valuable lesson from that experience, and it was to be very selective about where I submit my writing material in the
future.
On another occasion when I was in high school, I was
publicly open about my faith and commitment to the Lord. One day the topic of
sex came up during a class discussion, and one of my teachers asked my class
what we thought about different things like, contraception and protection. I
made a statement about abstinence and said that sex should be saved until
marriage. I didn’t say that to bash anyone who was having sex, I just knew for
myself, having sex before marriage wasn’t an option. When I said that, a
pregnant classmate got upset with me and actually gave me the middle finger. I
guess she was offended but again, it was a misunderstanding. I understand everyone
has different beliefs and views on the topic, but this encounter served as another valuable lesson.
Sometimes, no matter how honest, positive, and
encouraging you try to be, people can and will take things the wrong way. As a
writer, I can recognize that being in the writing world requires a tough skin,
or else you won’t make it very far. Criticism comes with the territory and
knowing that ahead of time, helps to weather any incoming misunderstandings.