We Were Friends for a Season… And That’s Okay

A lot of people don’t know how to be good friends. Mutual respect, genuine love, trust, consistency, and loyalty are traits hard to come by. I haven’t had too many friendships that consisted of those things. I have however, had plenty of shallow ones. Shallow, consisting of everything from hundreds of social media friends I don’t consider to be real friends, some peers I may have shared classes with, people I’ve attended church services with, a handful of folks I have things in common with, and some who I’ve met in passing. See the differences? One morning, I thought about all the different friends that have come in and out of my life, and the first thing I thought was, we were friends for a season and that’s okay. Whenever I’ve considered someone a friend, I really loved them. Which is why no matter whom they were or how we parted ways, I always felt those voids when things unexpectedly shifted. Most of the time some of my ended friendships weren’t instant, we’re over, cases but many times, there were things that gradually led to parting ways. Life stuff like college, jobs, serious relationships, kids, and careers caused some of us to drift apart, but I really felt the distance as I grew closer to God and I felt even more discomfort when…

I was always the one reaching out first with no reciprocity in return.

my phone only rang or had incoming texts when someone only wanted or needed something.

some friends traded up.

some of my friends got into partying (and while I did partake) I ultimately wasn’t about that life.

a former friend hooked up with a guy I was talking to and thought I didn’t know about it.

my texts were ignored.

some of my friends went out without inviting me, only later for me to see their good time posted all over social media.

I hugged a friend like it would be the last time, because to my surprise, it would be the last time.

I said I love you and it wasn’t said back.

some of them walked away with no warning or explanations.

I had to learn how to do my own thing and be my own best friend, and you know what? I love her, because even when people haven’t stuck around, she knows whenever it gets down to her and God, she’ll be just fine. Every friend I’ve ever had has left me with some unforgettable and special memories, I’ll never forget. A lot of us were just friends for a season and that’s okay. Being able to recognize that, eases my spirit, and makes it easier to no longer associate the title of friend to people who aren’t worthy.

There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother – Proverbs 18:24

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves