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Don’t Get Bitter, Sis

In six years, I’ll be 40. I was recently reminded of this after visiting my PCP (primary care physician) for my annual physical. I was informed that I was healthy and taking good care of myself and was reminded of important areas to focus on while nearing my mid-30s and eventually approaching my 40s. I left my appointment feeling fine and content. Then later, I began thinking about aging and different women I know already in their mid-30s (and some who are right at 40) who are disappointed about getting older and others who are bitter about the current state of their lives. These different women I know, who I think are some of the most brilliant, beautiful, and intelligent women I’ve ever met, are successful in individual ways but have expressed how lonely, frustrated, and upset they’ve been about not ending up with men they thought they were going to settle down with, having to forfeit on having children because of factors like age, health risks, or fertility challenges, and being rep
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A Taste At Benny Cavalloni’s

Pizza is one of my favorite comfort foods. And when I was in search of the perfect slice, I found myself at a spot in Town Center called Benny Cavalloni’s. This place is just all kinds of great – the aesthetic, the delicious smells, and the delicious slices of pizza made my trip worthwhile. What I love the most is how big the slices are! You practically get two slices in one and the slices are so huge, you need a box to carry out. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a chill spot to grab an incredible slice, head into Benny Cavalloni’s and enjoy!
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Bachelorette Guide To Celebrating Your Single Girl Era

One evening as I was staring at my reflection in my bathroom mirror, I paused. I took a real good look at myself, did a little spin, and as I stared on, God said this to me: “Just because you’re not in a relationship doesn’t mean you aren’t experiencing love.”  The moment I heard those words, I started crying. I suddenly felt refreshed when I thought about all the love I have in my life with God, myself, my close family members, and my friends, and my heart was filled with joy. Though the love I’m experiencing isn’t “romantic,” it’s exactly what I need it to be and it’s enough. Especially as I celebrate my single girl era.   I’m enjoying being single, ya’ll. For real.    It’s taken a minute to arrive at this level of contentment, but I’m grateful for my singleness and I find myself unapologetically celebrating it as much as I can. I’ve even turned down some date invites because of how good I am on this end. And I’ve got to say that this may be one of my best (and favorite) chapters yet
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Teacher Table Talk: When Students Harm Teachers

It was a routine afternoon following lunch.   I was walking down the hall with my students after picking them up from the cafeteria when a young Black female student turned around, stared me down aggressively, and continued staring directly at me as I approached my classroom door.   “Is there a problem?” I asked.   “There can be one.” She nastily replied.   One student who was nearby told her, “You know that’s a teacher, right?”   “I know,” replied the student who stared me down. There was no care or remorse in her eyes, body language, or tone.    “Watch yourself,” I replied as she walked away and went to her class.   The exchange was incredibly disrespectful, and because of how the student responded, I spoke with a seasoned teacher about whether I should report the incident. He shared that situations like the one that occurred could escalate, so I decided to report it. I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, as the safety of teachers working in today’s climate has often been compromi
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You Can’t Help People Who Don’t Listen

As we approach the end of another year, I’ve taken some time to reflect on what this year has been like, areas I want to grow in and improve upon, and different things I both want and need to change while preparing for the year to come. And one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned while reflecting on this year is that you can’t help people who don’t listen.  Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself as the “go to” person for advice, wisdom, and guidance regarding different decisions in the lives of different family members, friends, significant others, colleagues, and sometimes even acquaintances. While it’s been flattering to be a source of help, it’s equally been frustrating when I’m asked for advice (that’s typically not followed… until things go up in smoke) after those who approached me for advice in the first place, have already made a decision that completely goes against the wisdom that was shared with them to avoid a messy, chaotic, and sometimes heartbreaking, outcome.   Mon
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Conversations At Baby Showers

Recently, after attending two back-to-back weekends of baby showers, I was asked questions about having a child of my own and was also within earshot of different conversations happening at the showers I attended. The first shower was not unlike any other baby shower I’d been to before – there were pretty decorations, a well-prepared food spread of small bites and baked treats, a mountain of gifts, and a normal number of guests consisting of family and friends of the new parents to be, one of whom was my cousin. Oh, and there were games too. I’ve found that the go-to game for most showers has been trying to guess the size of the new mom’s baby bump (typically by measuring with ribbon or toilet paper). As the first shower continued, I ended up at a table with my grandmother and great-aunt. They’d asked me about how my career was going and then I was asked, “Do you think you’d ever take a break from your career to have a child?” I paused before responding and replied, “You know, I enjoy
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A Year Of Being Ghosted

Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve met within the past two years. About  six  to be exact. ·        The first guy pursued me and then got shady whenever I asked him about what he did for a living and where he lived. When he started dodging and avoiding questions, wouldn’t initiate dates, and slowly stopped keeping in touch with me altogether, eventually, all communication ceased. ·        The second guy was someone I met through a family member. He was super cool, very smart, handsome, and funny, but didn’t want to be in a relationship and acted like he didn’t want to be seen with me publicly. When we had plans to meet for an outing, he didn’t show up, and then texted me about a week later with an apology. We chilled at my place a few times, had a few phone conversations, and exchanged occasional texts, but eventually he stopped responding to me
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