Skip to main content

Discontent

Discontent is defined as a lack of contentment and dissatisfaction with one’s circumstances. Weighing contentment and discontent came to my mind some time ago, and I thought about all the things I’ve wanted (some of which I’ve obtained) that I thought I’d be content with once I got them. Turns out, I was wrong. I’m not discontented about anything at the moment, but after digging deeper into the “why?” of everything I’ve worked towards, wanted, and received I realized there’s nothing that could ever make me feel like I’ve arrived in life. My contentment isn’t and shouldn’t be based on material things, accomplishments, status, or what I can get, because I’m often reminded that none of those things will ever make me feel whole. Only God can do that. I wrote out a list of different things and asked myself, “Why do you want this and what are you getting out of it?” My list consisted of the following…

A college degree – for knowledge, education, and a ticket to open doors, opportunities, and independence.

A great; well paying career – to be able to take care of myself. I believe every woman should be financially independent. Unfortunately, I’ve seen the consequences of women who haven’t, and a number of them end up stuck in situations or relationships they don’t want to be in or feel safe to leave, because they’re either unemployed or dependent upon someone else’s income. That will never happen to me.

Love with a significant other – to share my love and life with a partner/best friend.

A ring and a wedding – I originally thought I wanted these things because it seemed to make sense for me, only because it’s what I saw family and friends do, but I changed my mind. I’ve seen these things get tainted too much with pressure, bad motives, and a spirit of idol worship. At this point, I’d prefer to elope should things ever get serious enough for a long-term commitment.

Have more travel opportunities – to explore more of the world and gain new experiences.

Be wealthy – to be able to give, grow, and build more.

Have a baby – to have my legacy carried on, but it really depends on who I end up with. Children are not a must have for me. I can live with/without the motherhood experience.

Be a writer – to operate in my purpose and inspire, encourage, and change lives.

Being able to figure out my why’s helped open my eyes to what makes sense for me. I think it’s unwise to go by what everyone else seems to be doing, or what appears to look good in the lives of others. Exploring what fits for me, makes sense to me. All the things I’ve listed would never define me. They’re simply additions, yet so many people have the whole notion of, if I could just do this or get this, I’d be happy and/or content… twisted. My list has changed so much and I’ve watched God strip a lot of things away from it, add more things I haven’t listed, and have Him teach me to desire more of what He desires for me, even when it seems too wild or out of reach to receive. I’ve struggled with discontent before, but knowing I can release those struggles to God, and be in a place of contentment that comes from fully trusting Him, gives me a level of peace that’s indescribable.


Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space.  I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...
Read more

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...
Read more

Stop Saying Stupid Stuff To People Who Are Childless

I’m convinced that many people don’t think before they speak. Especially when it comes to interacting with people who don’t have children. Normally, I’ve held my peace with this and felt the need to solely address women when it comes to this topic, but lately this is a message that men can benefit from too. Stop saying stupid stuff to people who don’t have children . I know this might be a difficult task for those of you who are nosey, have concerns that have nothing to do with you, or may be unhappy in your own life, but stop with the questions, jokes, and reckless comments. Even if you believe you’re being funny, making conversation, or coming from a genuine place, you’re honestly out of line. Because someone not having children and why is none of your business. I don’t have children, and I honestly don’t know if I will, but as a woman, I’m good with my life either way. I’ll always be grateful for what I have instead of lamenting about what I don’t. Which is probably why getting olde...
Read more