Making Waves

Smart, funny, and woke are just a handful of names that come to mind when I think of the new  Boomerang  series on BET. When I streamed the first episode, I was hooked. The show features two main characters named Simone and Bryson, both aiming to make their mark in the advertising industry. They also happen to be the children of the fictional lead characters from the 1992 film  Boomerang , featuring Eddie Murphy, Robin Givens, and Halle Berry. You don’t have to see the film to be in the loop about the new series but watching the movie will provide a certain level of insight and some backstory into the lives of the main characters on the show. The film version is hilarious and a well-known classic in the black community. The film is also very important, as it painted an image of successful black men and women in a professional and corporate environment, which wasn’t something that was commonly portrayed or popular in the film industry during its time. I hope the series ...

Pursuing and maintaining adult friendships can have its challenges. For young women in different spaces and places in their lives, it may be easy making new friends and connections but what about those who find doing so challenging? Community is important, and while it can be tough to find sometimes, it’s not impossible. You just need a strategy and a willingness to be open and before you know it, you’ll find a tribe that compliments and enhances your vibes. How does one find community? Say Yes.  I know what to say no to and I’m all about setting healthy boundaries, but if you desire community and friendship with others, you need to say yes sometimes. I’ve said yes to things I didn’t always  feel  like doing and ended up meeting new people and having unforgettable experiences in the process. If I went to an event with a friend, I ended up meeting more of my friend’s friends and my circle started to grow. I have different friends I do brunch with, workout with, soci...

The first few months into this new year have been rough. And slightly out of balance. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. I’ve talked with different people who’ve been going through it too. Whether publicly or privately, a lot of people are going through some things.  I’m going to keep it 100. Because if there’s any place where I feel free keeping it real, it’s with my writing. And at this moment, with this post, I’m going to be real.  My word for the year 2019 was  balance.  Practicing more of it. Embracing it. And maintaining it. With a fresh start and a new year filled with different hopes, goals, dreams, and expectations, I was excited and ready to embrace what was ahead, with a nice amount of balance in the mix. Then life started coming at me sideways. In the form of bad news, disappointments, frustrations, sadness, anger, nuisances, and provocations. And it’s only been about two months. Two. Months. I believe this year is supposed to ...

Great food. A gorgeous atmosphere. And incredible wine. These are just a handful of things that come to mind when I think about my dining experience at Cooper's Hawk. I dined there during the Christmas holiday and went back again for my father’s recent birthday celebration and was pleased with each visit. I love the location, enjoyed the food and wine, and of course the friendly and professional customer service too. It’s the perfect place to dine with friends, to take a date, or to celebrate with family. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a cool spot to dine, check out Cooper's Hawk.  Do something fun this weekend and enjoy yourself. TGIF!

He called me  ugly.  After he said it the word haunted me for years. My teenage crush said I was ugly, and it crushed me inside. After it was spoken, that word stuck with me and I eventually conditioned myself to accept it. If a guy didn’t like me or rejected me it was because he thought I was ugly. Case closed. Sadly, that used to be my mindset. If I could go back in time, I’d tell my teenage self how beautiful she was inside and out and how she’d eventually blossom into a swan of a woman. I’d tell her she’d be okay. And to not walk around with her head down. To avoid hiding her figure in baggy clothes because she has a booty and curves coming in -- both of which she will really appreciate when she becomes a woman. I’d encourage her to stop weighing herself on the scale so much because though she thinks she’s overweight, she's not. She’s healthy. I’d also remind her that certain guys not liking her isn’t always about something as superficial as  looks,  but more ...

Some churches and religious organizations have interesting views when it comes to sex and engaging with the opposite sex. As a young believer, some of the messages I was taught and told growing up were: Sex is bad. Don’t do it. Protect your purity. It’s a gift. Save sex for marriage. If you share your “gift” with someone else, it won’t mean as much to your spouse when you get married. Holding hands, hugging, or kissing your significant other can lead to sexual temptation. Holding hands, hugging, or kissing someone of the opposite sex who isn’t your significant other can lead to sexual temptation.  Chick flicks are a form of female pornography. Christian dating should be done in groups to avoid sexual temptation. Guys and girls can’t be just friends.   Flirting is sinful.  Living with a partner before marriage is sinful. Don’t date. Date for marriage. Don’t wear scantily clad clothing. It causes sexual temptation and lust.  Yo...

The Cheesecake Factory is a chill spot with amazing food. And their brunch? Awesome. The atmosphere is nice for families, friends, and even kid-friendly, and the customer service is incredible too. The Cheesecake Factory is obviously well-known for its amazing selection of cheesecakes, but their brunch is worth checking out as well. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a cool spot to have brunch, check out The Cheesecake Factory.  Do something fun this weekend and enjoy yourself. TGIF!

I used to be salty about Valentine’s Day. In elementary school, middle school, and high school, I sometimes envied the girls who had boyfriends or crushes who got them nice things. I never got what those girls got, and I desired what they had – the ability to be  seen  and appreciated and the public displays of adoration. Growing up, I felt invisible to guys (especially the ones I liked) and with each passing V-Day and each passing year that had nothing to do with the holiday, the hopeless romantic in me slowly dwindled away. During past V-Day seasons as an adult, things got interesting when I casually dated guys who were great at ghosting, being unsupportive, not keeping their word, letting me know how  pretty  and  beautiful  they thought I was, and how much they missed me after ghosting, but still didn’t make much time for me. They were often “busy” with work. During the time I allowed myself to be treated this way, my self-esteem and standards weren’...

I noticed I was gaining weight. I hopped on the scale and I’d put on 15 pounds. I was also looking and feeling thick and sluggish – neither of which I like on my frame. And my waistline was also not at its best. Even though my fam and close friends told me I looked fine, I didn’t like how I looked or felt or weighed. I also noticed some of my clothes were fitting tight too and I knew it could all be directed to one thing: sitting too much at work. I work full-time in an office setting and for a little over a year, I’d been feeling drained after work. All. The. Time. On top of the day-to-day demands of different responsibilities, I started feeling awful both mentally and physically. I switched up my diet and increased my workouts and later realized all the sitting I was doing was impacting my health more than I knew. Even my masseuse mentioned my back was tight from sitting at a computer a lot. A few of my co-workers had standing desks and I thought about getting one for a long time ...

Last year I went hunting for a new church. More specifically, one that would be a great fit for me at this point in my life. I was also on the prowl for a quality Christian boyfriend in the process. Two birds, one stone, right? I desired another church since I’d been at my home church for almost 13 years. The congregation is predominately black and full of seasoned forty through fifty-something-year-old married adults with families of their own. I’m the only twentysomething that attends on a regular basis. The youth I grew up with at a church I attended when I was born, all went their separate ways, getting involved in other ministries or completely parted ways with church life for good. None of us really kept in touch, so it hit me that I’d been on my own as far as demographics were concerned. A quality Christian boyfriend wasn’t going to just stumble into my church looking for me either, so I went searching. Which in hindsight, wasn’t the best idea. The Christian dating scene can ...

Sometimes as a woman of color, it can be hard finding quality beauty products to your liking. This past holiday I was gifted with a gorgeous red matte lipstick (called “Cranberry Stiletto”) from a brand I’d never heard of called Beauty Bakerie. I wanted to learn more about Beauty Bakerie products and was amazed and inspired by the CEO, Cashmere Nicole, and her incredible journey. As I browsed her company website, I ordered more products and was thoroughly pleased with my purchases. Especially the matte liquid lipsticks. The lipsticks are quality and sooo good. They stay on all day – which means little to no need to reapply. Whether you’re a woman of color or not, there’s a little something for everyone. If you’re into makeup, I highly recommend taking a look at what’s offered  here . You won’t be disappointed. It’s all fabulous! Here I’m wearing the Cranberry Stiletto Lip Whip. Here I’m wearing the Sangria Splash Lip Whip.

Ice skating is a blast. It’s fun, relaxing, and just an overall good time. I enjoy it every time I go and when I’m available, I’m always open to joining along for some skating with friends. If you’ve never done it, you should give it a try and if you have, you should make some time to go again. Not only is it a fun opportunity to be active but the bonus is that it makes for a great workout too. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area, check out skating at Iceland. Do something fun this weekend and enjoy yourself. TGIF!

I’ve never really felt like I fit in. Despite my mostly failed attempts at being accepted and having the approval of different people, groups, social circles, and various roles I’ve desired, a common theme that’s followed me since I was a child was not feeling accepted or approved of. I often felt suffocated. Overlooked. Inadequate. Insecure. Undervalued. Even within my own family sometimes. Whenever I sensed someone didn’t like, accept, or approve of me, I made it my mission to try and win them over. I went along with things I questioned. Stayed in relationships or roles or environments I felt out of place in. Hid parts of myself I wanted nothing more than to be open with. Was filled with shame about being myself vs. who and what other people said I should be. And when and while rejected, I was met with isolation and ridicule. And once upon a time, other people’s approval once mattered more to me than my own. Inside, I felt plagued and occasionally wrestled with the question,  ...

A number of my single girlfriends have shared that guys don’t approach them. I was once told, “Guys don’t approach girls anymore.” That statement is very untrue. A lot of guys may rely on technology to meet women but a number of them are still bold enough to make a move in person. For the past few months, I’ve noticed that when I’ve been out with friends, or even out alone, doing things as routine as shopping, exercising, or running an errand, that I’ve been approached. This used to rarely happen to me and now I believe it’s happening a lot more since I’m content being single. June of last year, I fully embraced being a bachelorette, decided to have fun with it, and in the process encouraged other single women to do the same. Honestly, getting approached is flattering but can get annoying sometimes when you’re disinterested. My please-leave-me-alone lines have consisted of but aren’t limited to,  I have church in the morning  (my faith is not a secret and this go-to quickly...

Some guys are total creepers and some women are too trusting. This was clearly the case in the Netflix and also Lifetime series,  You . The series follows a young woman named Beck who finds herself wooed by a bookstore worker named Joe. The two begin a relationship that quickly begins heating up after Joe uses social media and the internet to track, creep on, and monitor Beck's every move. He finds out where she lives, watches her from a distance while she’s in her home, even during incredibly private moments not meant for public consumption -- however she did have open windows with no curtains up, which I found odd for a single woman living alone in New York. Joe also knew who her friends were, who she hung out with, her family, and more. All of this was unknown to Beck who…spoiler alert: only learns of Joe and his creepy ways far too late in the series, later leading to serious consequences for her and those she’s close to. After the first episode of the series, I was amazed a...

The studio was full of mirrors. There was  sweating, laughing, stretching, and dance moves like Cardi B. It was Buti Yoga and it was a blast. A friend of mine invited me to a class one evening, and when we arrived late we ended up with spots in the very front of the class which was awkward at first but forced us outside our comfort zones. It definitely wasn’t a normal yoga class. Buti Yoga tests the boundaries of your comfort zone and you definitely have to be comfortable with yourself and letting loose. I was unfamiliar with it, as it’s more high energy and tribal than basic yoga but being surrounded by a room full of strong and encouraging women, having fun, supporting one another, and feeling empowered was a wonderful way to spend a night out. I enjoyed every minute of it. The class was worth it and the instructor, Kelli Thomas, is amazing. She knows her stuff and is masterful with what she does.  If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a fun workout to try, ...