Pursuing and maintaining adult friendships can have its challenges. For young women in different spaces and places in their lives, it may be easy making new friends and connections but what about those who find doing so challenging? Community is important, and while it can be tough to find sometimes, it’s not impossible. You just need a strategy and a willingness to be open and before you know it, you’ll find a tribe that compliments and enhances your vibes. How does one find community?
Say Yes. I know what to say no to and I’m all about setting healthy boundaries, but if you desire community and friendship with others, you need to say yes sometimes. I’ve said yes to things I didn’t always feel like doing and ended up meeting new people and having unforgettable experiences in the process. If I went to an event with a friend, I ended up meeting more of my friend’s friends and my circle started to grow. I have different friends I do brunch with, workout with, socialize with, and two to three close friends I can trust and confide in that I keep in touch with on a regular basis. Say yes sometimes.
Goodbye Comfort Zone. If you want to find community, you have to be willing to ditch your comfort zone. I and almost all the people I’ve ever met or that I’m now connected with, were able to connect once I decided to step out more. This wasn’t and sometimes still isn’t easy to do, but I can testify to the fact that it’s worth it. I’ve gone out alone and was either invited or asked to join along with other women who were attending an event, gathering, or doing an activity I wanted to partake in too. Pace yourself, but don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. There are some cool people and a ton of fun waiting for you on the other side.
Be Patient. Finding community takes time. So give it time. I’ve had different communities in different seasons of my life, and as things change, often, my community does too. This is common for most people. That said, be patient with the process. I’ve often made the mistake of trying to hold on to people and communities God wanted me to let go of (as they were just seasonal) and I’ve also overlooked people He wanted me to connect with. Have wisdom and know the difference between who and what is seasonal and pay close attention to who God may be putting on your path. His divine connections may come from the most unlikely places. I’ve had community with women younger than me, women I’ve worked with, women who were new moms, some married, some divorced, some single, and have even had community with people significantly older than me. But those relationships took time to develop. You can and will find community if it’s something you want. Just position yourself and it will happen.