A number of my single girlfriends have shared that guys don’t approach them. I was once told, “Guys don’t approach girls anymore.” That statement is very untrue. A lot of guys may rely on technology to meet women but a number of them are still bold enough to make a move in person. For the past few months, I’ve noticed that when I’ve been out with friends, or even out alone, doing things as routine as shopping, exercising, or running an errand, that I’ve been approached. This used to rarely happen to me and now I believe it’s happening a lot more since I’m content being single. June of last year, I fully embraced being a bachelorette, decided to have fun with it, and in the process encouraged other single women to do the same. Honestly, getting approached is flattering but can get annoying sometimes when you’re disinterested. My please-leave-me-alone lines have consisted of but aren’t limited to, I have church in the morning (my faith is not a secret and this go-to quickly weeds out guys who don’t share the same beliefs or values), I’m already spoken for, or I have a boyfriend. Technically, I am spoken for. Jesus has my heart 😊. But to the single women who want to be more approachable, I’ve got some helpful pointers…
Do You. It’s important to be yourself. You don’t have to be anyone else to catch the attention of a guy who wants to talk to you. I know there are books, magazines, talk shows, and meddling couples that try to tell women how to “catch his eye” but being approached and pursued by being who you are is wonderful. Do you. If you don’t, you risk having to maintain an image you can’t keep up with and this will drain and expose you. Doing you also means having a life of your own before wanting a guy to join along. If you don’t enjoy your own company, why would anyone else? Chasing a guy down, clocking his social media, being too available, or constant contact could make you seem thirsty. Avoid this. Put yourself out there, but let things marinate for a bit before you get too excited. Take your time and get to know his vibe. Give a little, take a little. If he reciprocates, great. If not, cut him loose. There are other guys who would love to meet someone like you.
Check Your Vibe & Body Language. How approachable are you? Are your arms crossed? Are you looking down at the ground or straight ahead? Do you have an inviting demeanor? If not, I’m guessing your vibe and body language may be reasons you’re not getting approached. I used to be super unapproachable. I’d have earphones in when I’d be out and wouldn’t crack a smile. I’ve taken myself way too serious from time to time too. Some guys may try to challenge that, but your chances are greater when you’re open, smiling, and inviting. Sit up, be confident, remember how amazing you are, and smile, it’s contagious! You may be pleasantly surprised.
Go Out. Know what happens when you don’t go out? Nothing. Going out will look different for everyone but if you want to be in a position to get approached, get out of the house. I’m an introvert but still enjoy going out sometimes. Sure, a guy could show up on your doorstep (and I’ve only known this to happen with one friend my whole life) but more often than not, it’s extremely rare. Available guys looking to approach available women are out at social gatherings, auto repair shops, breweries, the gym, sporting events, hardware stores, and other places you may be overlooking. If you’re single and want to meet someone, go out and put yourself in environments to make things happen. You’ve got this.