I used to be salty about Valentine’s Day. In elementary school, middle school, and high school, I sometimes envied the girls who had boyfriends or crushes who got them nice things. I never got what those girls got, and I desired what they had – the ability to be seen and appreciated and the public displays of adoration. Growing up, I felt invisible to guys (especially the ones I liked) and with each passing V-Day and each passing year that had nothing to do with the holiday, the hopeless romantic in me slowly dwindled away. During past V-Day seasons as an adult, things got interesting when I casually dated guys who were great at ghosting, being unsupportive, not keeping their word, letting me know how pretty and beautiful they thought I was, and how much they missed me after ghosting, but still didn’t make much time for me. They were often “busy” with work. During the time I allowed myself to be treated this way, my self-esteem and standards weren’t in a healthy place. I accepted less when deep down I knew I deserved better. It took me a while to learn that guys are a dime a dozen. If one doesn’t show up for you, support and celebrate your success, and make you a priority, others will. Or so I’ve been told 😏. My willingness to see the good in people who are not and have not been good to me has gotten me involved with some questionable characters, but not anymore. I value myself now. I’m careful and selective with who I choose and allow to have my time now too. These days, Valentine’s Day is widely celebrated and broadcasted. Other people’s love lives, relationships, makeups, and breakups, are all over social media newsfeeds as well. And I’ve grown relatively unbothered by the fanfare of it all. Because a lot of it isn’t real. Much of it is staged. If you pay close attention, you’ll learn that appearances, photos, and lengthy love posts aren’t always based in reality or what you might think. I’ve talked with a number of men and women in relationships, some dating, engaged, married, separated, and/or divorced, who’ve shared some valuable and unfiltered truths behind those posts we all see, which is why most of the time, I have some insight about what’s really up. You’ll never see me jumping on the bandwagon of corny couple hashtags, #relationshipgoals, #MCM (Man Crush Mondays), or inviting social media into any serious relationship I’m involved in. I’m a bachelorette with boundaries. It’s important not to overexpose or give too much of yourself or something as precious as a relationship you value, away on platforms like social media. If you’re into that kind of stuff, do you. It’s just not my thing. Being content with singleness is a blessing. It has its challenging moments sometimes, but I’m enjoying myself, my space, and the freedom to live life on my own terms. While I didn’t get what some other young women have received through the years, I’ve learned to love and value myself more. God loves me. I love me. I have family and friends who love me. And I’m good. Contentment is a beautiful thing. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Also, “Can’t Help Falling in Love” is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard and inspired the title of this post. Haley Reinhart’s version is my favorite. Check it out here.