Making Waves

·           You’re only entitled to what you’ve earned and worked for. Nobody owes you anything. ·          Be patient. We may live in a microwave generation, but a slow-cooked meal always tastes better and is worth the wait – and I’m not just talking in terms of food J ·          Unplug sometimes. Be present. Resist the urge to announce and post everything on social media. And know that FOMO (fear of missing out) is an illusion.  ·          Treat your stepping-stone and entry level positions with the same respect you’d have at your dream career. Where you begin isn’t always where you’ll end, but how you behave and carry yourself where you begin is training for how you’ll be when that dream career unfolds. ·          Take very good care of yourself. Your mental, physical and spiritual health...

Being passive-aggressive can cost you valuable relationships and connections. As a former passive-aggressive person, I can testify to the fact that if you’re passive-aggressive and don’t change your ways, you’re going to start losing things. The first time I heard the word “passive-aggressive” was during a past season at an old part-time job. A supervisor and I had been having a disagreement about a conflict with another employee. I was in a leadership role at the time. While the supervisor and I were discussing the issue over the phone, I felt like he wasn’t letting me talk or hearing me out, so I hung up on him. Looking back, that was massively disrespectful and I could’ve got in a lot of trouble. But the issue would’ve never got to the supervisor in the first place, if the employee conflict had been resolved as soon as problems were starting. Because I was in leadership, it was my responsibility to confront the issue head on, but instead, I got annoyed and never addressed the emplo...

In 2015 Will Smith starred in a film called Focus. In Focus , Will Smith plays a con man who recruits a woman (played by Margot Robbie) to join in on his con lifestyle. Upon teaching her the trade, he explains the importance of focus to her. Growing to learn the con game, she is able to grab the focus of others, just as Will Smith’s character does throughout the film. And she’s able to successfully obtain what she wants from different people she meets. One scene in the film highlights an example of focus (see link below) and it made me think about the importance of focus and paying attention in life. I wonder how much further along many of us could be in life if we had more focus on what really matters? Almost all of us are challenged with daily distractions and demands that can easily deter our focus from tasks that require our attention, and get us further and further away from different goals and dreams we’d like to accomplish. But what if more people actively decided to embrace di...

I’m 28. Single. And sometimes, I struggle trusting God’s timing. 28 is hardly considered old, but I’m getting to the point where I’d like to stop wrestling with the occasional flare ups of internal conflicts about my singleness. I’d also like to stop being questioned by family, different friends, and acquaintances regarding my singleness too. And don’t even get me started on the emotional storm I had to work through the moment my younger brother got engaged and married before I did. That was rough. I wanted to be happy for him and eventually I was, but when you’ve been in my shoes as the Christian girl turned woman who played by the rules, honored God in mind, body and spirit, and waited… and waited…went on a handful of dead end dates… considered settling…and waited…and prayed… and continued to watch other people get what you’ve been praying and sacrificing for, it can be hard rejoicing with them. But celebrating and rejoicing the good news of others is the right thing to do, even whe...

When I was in college I had the opportunity to write for a publication I was excited to contribute to. Having the opportunity to write for the publication was nice for a season, but I noticed that whenever I offered additional contributions, even when asked, the editor at the time either ignored or dismissed my suggestions. The editor and I were acquainted, as we were both students at the same school. We also had a number of mutual friends in common. So when I met him, naturally I perceived he was a nice guy. It took awhile for me to discover he was rude and unprogressive in his approach to the voices of other writers, and beliefs and opinions that differed from his. Although I didn’t notice this about him on sight, I was reminded that people usually reveal themselves and their true character if you pay attention long enough. When he suggested I write what he thought would be best, I complied, even though the writing topics weren’t great or truly reflective of my voice and the kind of...

Do you ever pause and think about who and/or what makes you happy? With the day to day challenges each of us can face it may be hard to do, but not impossible. When I find myself in a funk or unpleasant season that makes me want to crawl under my bed and not come out for an extended period of time (I’m exaggerating…but who hasn’t felt that way at times?) I try my best to find my joy and think about different things that make me feel happy. In an older blog post I encouraged people to do a happy list, which is simply a list of all the things that bring you joy and make you feel happy. It’s important to find your joy, especially during those times that aren’t joyful. One suggestion I’d like to share that’s helped in my own life, is creating a Pinterest board I’ve titled Happy.  My Happy board is pinned with different things that brighten my mood and day. I have things like… ·          Some of my favorite foods and treats: fish tacos, waffles...

I love the spring. It’s one of my favorite seasons and I look forward to this time of year for a number of reasons. Mostly because of… Daylight saving -- which makes the sunny days seem longer Going to the beach An excuse to unpack my spring wardrobe (sundresses, shorts, tank tops, cute blouses, and more) Flowers Driving with my sunroof open Eating outdoors Sitting outdoors The beautiful scenery (trees, chirping birds, sunrises) Preparing for summer And so much more… This time of year just feels so special and I’m excited for all the great things to come. What do you love about spring?

When I was a teenager and learned that my dad was grooming to become a pastor, I wasn’t thrilled. I was 13 at the time and both of my parents were heavily involved in ministry. The church we were at was going through a challenging season of major transition, and when my parents decided it was time to move forward elsewhere, I knew I didn’t want the title Pastor’s Kid attached to my name. I’d already seen a number of different pastor’s kids that were facing challenges because of the role their parents held in the church, and I noticed that those same kids often lived their lives through the microscope and scrutiny of other church members and anyone else who knew who their parents were. Fortunately my younger brother and I turned out fine, but for a long time our parent’s roles in church was something I preferred to stay quiet about. During my periods of silence, it was funny to hear some of the different and ridiculous things some people said about PK’s. Because while there’s truth to...

In order to experience great levels of success you must be willing to grow comfortable being both admired and despised. You must also adjust to criticism, controversy, being misunderstood, and the uneasiness that can come with those things. Think about this: Jesus had 12 disciples. They fell asleep on him when he asked if they’d keep watch with him during his time of turmoil. One disciple later betrayed him. Another denied him. And the same crowd that praised and loved him for his miracles -- were the same ones shouting that he be crucified and killed. Get the picture? Many people who think they know you and some who barely do, may change how they feel about you and form opinions or false impressions about who you really are. Others may associate with an outdated version of you that no longer exists from past seasons of who you used to be. I’ve personally experienced this with family and old friends. And if I’d known about the balance between admiration and being despised, I could’ve...

I’ve noticed that people complain and post on social media about how much they dislike their jobs… a lot .  Frankly, that kind of behavior is unprofessional and unhealthy. Sure, I understand frustration, venting every now and then, needing a break, and definitely know that a number of us have had jobs that had everything from poor management to annoying co-workers, to dealing with things we’d rather call out sick for, but the fact of the matter is that being employed is a blessing . When I reflect on different things I learned when working at previous part-time jobs I complained about, I can see how God was trying to prepare and groom me for what I do now. Some days I’ve even missed my past season of being a part-time employee. Working part-time afforded me a flexible schedule to side hustle my writing more freely and to spend time hanging out with different friends more often. More importantly, working part-time taught me patience and built my character in ways that diving immedi...

These days asking someone out on a date can be way more complicated than it used to be. I’ve met guys who’ve wanted to go out, but have been so shy that they’ve asked via text message or through social media messages (see how technology socially handicaps?) and I’ve also met guys who’ve asked in person, but not clearly or confident enough for me to know if they were truly interested or not. I’ve even met my fair share of male and female creepers who’ve wanted to hang out as friends, that I either actively avoided, or straight up declined. So, I thought about cool ways for people to ask people out as friends, which might help ease nervousness for all parties involved. These tips aren't just for wooing potential suitors, but can be used to make new friends and find new community (which can be challenging the older you get) so below, check out three tips on how to ask someone out on a friend date without being awkward or creepy. ·          Be Open...

A) A loved one you never imagined losing so soon is suddenly in a casket. B) Your boss calls you into their office and says, “We’re considering terminating you…” C) You don’t hear from certain “friends” or family members until they’re in trouble, need help, want prayer, financial assistance, or just hit you up to share their good news after weeks and months of being inconsistent and not keeping in touch. D) The doctor says, “I’m sorry. There’s nothing else we can do…” E) You spot, challenge, and deal with closet racists. F) You encounter wicked and ungodly people. G) You’re heartbroken. H) You’re struggling. I) You’re disappointed. J)  You’re outnumbered and afraid. K) You’re overlooked. L) You’re ghosted on. M) You’re frustrated. N) You’re misunderstood. O) You’re admired and despised. P) You experience an unexpected breakup, separation, or divorce. Q) People grow envious or jealous of you without any idea of what you’ve lost, sacrifice, endure, ...

The black-ish spinoff grown-ish is a hit. After seeing episode one, I’ve grown impressed and believe it’ll be a show that’s around for awhile. Grown-ish is a show about a young woman named Zoey Johnson (played by the incredible Yara Shahidi), who has left the nest to embark on her journey as a freshman in college. If you’ve seen black-ish,  then Zoey is a familiar character, but if you haven’t, you should binge watch black-ish  if time allows. But if binging isn’t an option, you should still be able to keep up with grown-ish . When grown-ish premiered, it accurately portrayed the typical makings of what college is like for incoming freshmen: a rainbow coalition of diverse peers from different walks of life, the highs and lows of experimenting with different substances, partying, and figuring out a question that haunts many students and graduates all the way through college and after -- what am I going to do with my life? Grown-ish is smart, funny, insightful, and a grea...

Controversial. Bold. Legendary. These are the words that come to mind when I think about the man they call Kanye West. I’ve been a fan of Mr. West since his debut album  The College Dropout was released. And the works that followed such as  Late Registration , Graduation , 808s & Heartbreak , My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy , Yeezus , and The Life of Pablo – just to name some, have solidified him as one of the most memorable artists of our time. Songs like All Falls Down , Homecoming , and his verses on Slow Jamz are my favorites. When he first released 808s & Heartbreak , it had to grow on me awhile, as it was different from his previous works, but on tracks like Heartless , you can hear the raw and passionate sound in his lyrics and voice. When My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy dropped along with a creative visual video, I was blown away. Regardless of what the press says about him, his on and off again beef with Taylor Swift, or those who aren’t fans, one thi...

Pornography is devastating. It’s a profitable industry that has made millions of dollars, yet, has been the downfall and destruction of many relationships and families, and has complicated and ruined the lives of different men and women in our society. It’s clear that the struggle with pornography is very real. As a Christian, I was surprised to learn that this particular addiction was a struggle in Christian communities too. I’ve heard some heartbreaking stories and testimonies, both publicly and privately, from women and men wanting to break their addictions. Back in 2005 one of my favorite gospel artists, Kirk Franklin, spoke publicly on The Oprah Winfrey Show about battling his addiction to pornography. Now, as I recall him sharing that story, I think… Wow. This Christian, world-known, talented, and anointed man of God was struggling with something like that and openly talked about it with the world . Risky. Bold. Brave. Pornography and addictions to pornography can be touchy, ...

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life – Proverbs 4:23  I believe many women and men are reckless with their hearts. And it doesn’t always happen recklessly in the beginning. Often, people meet other people they  think or perceive are great in the beginning, and without using discernment, allow their feelings to take over and let different people  have access to their hearts, only to get them broken when a relationship (or what they mistake as a relationship) ends. I don’t like that. And as I reflect on Proverbs 4:23, I’m reminded of the importance of guarding the heart. Guarding your heart doesn’t make you paranoid or standoffish, it makes you smart. I don’t believe God wants us offering up our hearts to just any and everyone that comes along, yet many people still do. God wants to hold our hearts and He can fully be trusted. My prayer is that women and men will guard their hearts more carefully before pursuing and engaging in any relation...