The Dirty Word Called Porn

Pornography is devastating. It’s a profitable industry that has made millions of dollars, yet, has been the downfall and destruction of many relationships and families, and has complicated and ruined the lives of different men and women in our society. It’s clear that the struggle with pornography is very real. As a Christian, I was surprised to learn that this particular addiction was a struggle in Christian communities too. I’ve heard some heartbreaking stories and testimonies, both publicly and privately, from women and men wanting to break their addictions. Back in 2005 one of my favorite gospel artists, Kirk Franklin, spoke publicly on The Oprah Winfrey Show about battling his addiction to pornography. Now, as I recall him sharing that story, I think…Wow. This Christian, world-known, talented, and anointed man of God was struggling with something like that and openly talked about it with the world. Risky. Bold. Brave. Pornography and addictions to pornography can be touchy, scary, and sensitive subject matters to discuss and debate, but I believe the conversation is worth having. When I was 16 my church had a youth group that met with young men and women every month for fellowship. During one event, the male youth group had to watch a video about why pornography was bad and how spiritually damaging it could be. Some time after that time of fellowship, some of the guys at church came up to me and while giggling, one of them said, “That porn video we watched didn’t help me any, because I still go home and watch porn.” After he said that, we all laughed, but looking back, it wasn’t a laughing matter. Pornography is no joke. It’s a false and fake representation of sex, and confuses a lot of people with unrealistic expectations and heartbreaking guilt and shame. It ruins God’s design for sex as He intended it to be. We live in a sex-saturated culture and are constantly bombarded with sexual images, music, music videos, reading material, and more and while sex isn’t a bad thing, how the world has tainted it is disappointing. Even many of today’s films and television programming are feeding the culture with warnings of “viewer discretion” before viewing, and a number of prime time shows and PG-13 rated films heavily push boundaries with their content portraying risqué scenes. At least with an R rating you can anticipate what may come. One example that comes to mind is Fifty Shades of Grey. When I first learned there was a book and movie I wanted to know what all the fuss was about, so I read the book and saw the film. I was unimpressed and found both the book and film unsettling and ridiculous. If you’re not familiar with the books or films, the premise of the story is about a fictional billionaire, Christian Grey, who woos, sexually manipulates, and controls a naïve college graduate named, Anastasia Steele. The two begin a dysfunctional romance that’s mostly physical, sexually disturbing, and in my opinion, borderline sexually abusive, yet the film grossed over 500 million dollars and did excellent in the box office. Strange… or is it? While I’d never throw shade towards another writer, I believe characters like Christian Grey are dangerous. Because when he’s romanticized, impressionable young women may think a guy like that, or any guy that’s into what a character like Christian Grey is all about, is perfectly fine and normal, neglecting to realize a number of red flags. There’s nothing normal or romantic about a handsome and wealthy guy that’s a creeper, who abuses, manipulates, controls, and desires a dominant and submissive sexual relationship with a virginal young woman. Ephesians 5:3 reads, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. God is good and offers forgiveness, grace, mercy, and fresh starts for any and everyone who wants to heal and begin again. And since sexual culture and porn doesn’t seem to be disappearing anytime soon, it’s up to those seeking change to actively do something about it. If you struggle with pornography, seek help, a seasoned and trustworthy accountability partner, or counseling. You don’t have to be or live in shame. God will still love you and help you through it.