In order to experience
great levels of success you must be willing to grow comfortable being both
admired and despised. You must also adjust to criticism, controversy, being misunderstood,
and the uneasiness that can come with those things. Think about this: Jesus had 12 disciples. They fell asleep on him when he asked if they’d keep watch with him during
his time of turmoil. One disciple later betrayed him. Another denied him. And
the same crowd that praised and loved him for his miracles -- were the same
ones shouting that he be crucified and killed. Get the picture? Many people who think they know you and some who barely
do, may change how they feel about you and form opinions or false impressions about who you really are. Others may associate with an outdated
version of you that no longer exists from past seasons of who you used to be.
I’ve personally experienced this with family and old friends. And if I’d known about
the balance between admiration and being despised, I could’ve saved
myself from a lot of mistakes, poor choices, and heartache in different
relationships, wanting a career in writing, and dealing with conflict. No
matter what field, calling, or profession you’re involved in, there will come a
point when you too will have to own and accept that you’re going to be admired
and despised. This is especially true if God has a great calling on your life
and has placed you in specific places and spaces to fulfill assignments He has
in mind for you. If you’re wondering if this sounds like something pertaining
to you, please allow me to share some signs that have been great indications of
the same in my own life…
·
A
growing feeling that a change or shift is about to happen.
·
A
season of constant frustration and lack of peace.
·
Never
feeling as if you fully fit with any
specific groups or cliques – which is a blessing and a strong sign that God may
use you to connect and relate to all kinds of people.
·
Awareness
that you’ve outgrown different people you used to be cool with or close to.
·
Others
noticing your God-given gifts and potential and being vocal about them (with
both positive and negative feedback.)
I totally understand wanting to
be understood and well-liked, but I also recognize that when God has a great calling
on your life and extraordinary success in mind for you, one of the first things
He often does is test to see if you can handle being admired and despised. He
will use people who love you, claim to love you, family, friends, enemies, and
even strangers to see how you can adjust and be stretched to have the capacity
to handle relationships with different kinds of people, make an impact, create
change, and be successful, while knowing that you’re going to be liked and at
different times hated, for being who you are and who He’s calling you to be. I used
to be a people-pleaser that wanted to make everyone happy. And I also wanted
everyone to like me. But I quickly learned how unrealistic that expectation
was… not to mention exhausting. There’s almost always going to be people who don’t like you or understand you or
care to try to at all. And that’s okay. It’s also an important reminder to
never get too caught up in the hype of admiration and praise either, because
people can be inconsistent, which is why it’s important to always know who you
are as a person. If you can stand firm, believe in yourself, and who God says
you are, you should be just fine. If you’re going to be successful, ask yourself
if you can truly handle being admired and despised. Can you handle it?