When I was a teenager and learned
that my dad was grooming to become a pastor, I wasn’t thrilled. I was 13 at the
time and both of my parents were heavily involved in ministry. The church we
were at was going through a challenging season of major transition, and when my
parents decided it was time to move forward elsewhere, I knew I didn’t want the
title Pastor’s Kid attached to my
name. I’d already seen a number of different pastor’s kids that were facing
challenges because of the role their parents held in the church, and I noticed
that those same kids often lived their lives through the microscope and
scrutiny of other church members and anyone else who knew who their parents
were. Fortunately my younger brother and I turned out fine, but for a long time
our parent’s roles in church was something I preferred to stay quiet about. During
my periods of silence, it was funny to hear some of the different and ridiculous things some people said about PK’s. Because while
there’s truth to some of what’s said, there are often many misconceptions. And from
my experience, I don’t mind sharing my truths, challenging the misconceptions, and
sharing some of the special moments I’ve had with God during my time as a PK.
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Truths
- Ask any PK and I bet many of them will tell you we’re often closely watched, because
of the role our parents have in ministry. We are reflections of our parents.
That said, anything we say or do can either compliment or embarrass them. The embarrassing moments tend to be the
things others like to bring up. During different seasons of my life I’ve made
embarrassing choices and mistakes that I had to clean up, go to my parents
about, and seek God for forgiveness because of my actions. Everyone messes up,
makes foolish choices, and learns from them. It’s good to get to the point of
knowing and doing better.
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Misconceptions
- Contrary to popular belief not all PK’s are goody two-shoes by day and party
animals by night. I have had a taste of that life and know some PK’s that have
as well. Some still party, but for me, being torn between leading two lives
made me feel bad, convicted, and was contradicting to who I was as a believer.
I remember my first time going to a bar and feeling so out of place, I could
barely enjoy it. My spirit was kicking into gear and screaming, you’re not supposed to be here! Long
story short…my partying was short-lived. Another misconception is that PK’s
want to be pastor’s too. I know I’m called to ministry, but not necessarily in
the way my parents have been called. I spoke my first sermon a year ago at my
parent’s church and it was challenging. I’ve seen the highs and lows they’ve
been through in ministry as a couple, and with being on “call” 24/7. That life
is not for the faint of heart, which is why I believe God specifically calls
people to it who can handle it. Another misconception is in regards to marriage
and choosing spouses. Some common behaviors I’ve noticed are PK’s who choose
significant others completely opposite of their lifestyle, with the belief that
they can change and reform the person. That approach rarely works or lasts…
which is why scripture specifically instructs believers not to be unequally
yoked with non-believers (see 2 Corinthians 6:14) On the other hand, many people
may think PK’s desire marriage to someone in ministry. And while I know a ton
of Christian women who desire marriage with pastors or any guy with a high role
in ministry, that’s not me. Honestly, I’ve actively avoided dating guys in ministry
and specifically pastors, because I’ve never been the type fascinated by a guy because
of his role in church. To each their own, though.
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Special
Moments With God - I’ve been saved since I was seven and continue to have
special moments with God. The first was the day I accepted Christ in my heart
and life. Another time was when I was baptized at church camp one summer, and another
time was when I gained a deeper understanding of worship (I didn’t fully
understand worship until my mid 20s.) And as I enter into my late 20s, I’m
feeling my way into ministering with women and still leaning into how that will
grow. PK’s are special. While I was upset about how my parent’s roles might
impact my way of life and our family, turns out, I had nothing to be upset
about. Sure, my family has endured many challenges, highs, lows, and an
abundance of continual blessings, but it’s good to know that God’s been there
through it all and faithfully continues to do so.