Nothing Less Than The Best

I’m 28. Single. And sometimes, I struggle trusting God’s timing. 28 is hardly considered old, but I’m getting to the point where I’d like to stop wrestling with the occasional flare ups of internal conflicts about my singleness. I’d also like to stop being questioned by family, different friends, and acquaintances regarding my singleness too. And don’t even get me started on the emotional storm I had to work through the moment my younger brother got engaged and married before I did. That was rough. I wanted to be happy for him and eventually I was, but when you’ve been in my shoes as the Christian girl turned woman who played by the rules, honored God in mind, body and spirit, and waited… and waited…went on a handful of dead end dates… considered settling…and waited…and prayed… and continued to watch other people get what you’ve been praying and sacrificing for, it can be hard rejoicing with them. But celebrating and rejoicing the good news of others is the right thing to do, even when you’re feeling down and discouraged. I like to believe all my waiting and sacrificing hasn’t been in vain. Surely there has to be a beneficial and expected end to it all. I just don’t want to settle. And I also have high standards. I believe there’s nothing wrong with refusing to settle and having high standards, yet there’s criticism, threats, and warnings that you’ll end up alone if you’re not dating any and everyone in sight, taking what you can get, sleeping around, going through a bunch of significant others in hopes of finding the one, or settling for someone who shows interest in you, that you have no interest in, just to say you’re in a relationship. Low standards and settling are bogus. And I’m not here for any of it. I don’t want to end up alone, but I’d rather be single than to be with someone I’m unsure about, not fully interested in, or be with someone that’s going to waste my time. I’ve wasted enough time with guys who’ve “caught feelings” but were indecisive, along with guys who were unbelievers trying to get me to sleep with them when I clearly indicated and vocalized it wasn’t going to happen. No ring? God’s stamp of approval? And holy matrimony? No sex. Case closed. I’ve even met Christian guys playing those same games. Note: Christian guys can be full of games too, ladies. You have to watch them. Be careful. I get that no one’s perfect, but there’s something to be said about being a woman that refuses to settle in the love department. I’ve seen and met more than enough settlers. Almost all the guys I’ve met or the ones who’ve shown interest, weren’t ready for serious relationships, had themselves together, were fully available, or emotionally mature enough to be what I want and need in a significant other. So why would I dedicate my time to someone or something that’s going to waste my time? I can do better. I believe I’m worthy of something better than that. In past seasons, I’d date and try to force interest in guys I didn’t really like or force being attracted to them simply because I was tired of being single, or out of fear that I’d end up alone, which was wrong. Making fear-based relationship choices is a bad move, and those choices can come with high costs and consequences. I already know what I want. I want to be in a God-ordained and God-approved relationship with someone who knows who he is and what he wants, and where there's mutual attraction -- spiritually, physically, intellectually, and emotionally. I’ll accept nothing less than the best. When I encounter that, I’ll know. Relationships are expensive and I don’t think a lot of people get that, which explains all the settlers in the world. I can’t speak on behalf of all the singles or dating folks out there, but your time isn’t something to be careless or wasteful with. Don’t settle. You should have high standards for yourself. Accept nothing less than the best.