Making Waves

I recently had a dream I was accepted into grad school. When I woke up I thought, well, that was weird . When I graduated from college with a Bachelor’s degree in English I thought my education was complete. While working through undergrad I felt something nudging at me about grad school, and thought, it’s taken me almost eight years to finish a Bachelor’s degree, why would I go to grad school? A number of my peers were already planning to attend grad school after undergrad and I was encouraged to do the same. The only thing was, I saw no need for a Master’s degree. I perceived an additional degree as more of a decoration .  Especially because at the time, I wasn’t certain what I’d get a Master's in, along with people claiming a Master’s degree would be a good look. One day, a respected colleague pulled me aside for a talk about this. She asked, “Have you thought about grad school?” “Yes,” I replied. “But not right now. I just graduated this past spring." She looked at me wit...

“You should come back to my place,” he whispered in my ear while we were on the dance floor. “I’m good where I’m at,” I responded. I was 24. I was drinking but sober enough to know that going home with a stranger would be an ill-advised decision. Also, I learned my dance partner that night was already spoken for. One of his friends told me, “He’s funny and he has a girlfriend.” I wondered… if he has a girlfriend what’s he doing here... and why would he invite me back to his place? He was obviously interested in a hookup, and since I’ve never been that kind of girl, I gladly declined. During what was a very brief season of bar hopping to experience what I thought I was missing out on so badly, I was introduced to the world of partying, hooking up, and what has now been described as hook up culture. Hookup culture is a culture that encourages random sexual encounters and interactions, with no strings attached, and little to no emotional or long-term commitments. I find this culture scar...

I’m a great listener. I’ve met a lot of people who’ve been comfortable opening up and confiding in me about things they’re struggling with, insecure about, afraid of, and may feel shameful about. Contemplation of suicide, sexual assaults, cheating on their significant others, breakups, challenges with addictions, depression, anxiety, and many other things they’d never want anyone to openly know about, are just a handful of things that come to mind. I listen. And I empathize as best as I can. When I listen to the things I’m told, I think, they’re so brave and what they’ve been through will be a testimony to others going through the same things. When some of them open up to me, without warning, I’ve been able to open up to them about some of my challenges as well. However, I’ve also often been hesitant about doing so, and especially doing so openly . There have been many times when I’ve been afraid to be seen for who I really am. I’ve shrunk, stayed silent, and low key out of fear of be...

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better – Ephesians 1:17 I often ask God for wisdom. I need it. We all do. I pray for it because it helps keep me in check and it’s a reminder for me to be mindful of my actions, especially when it comes to dealing with people. In a perfect world we’d all get along, agree, and likely not get on each other’s nerves, but that’s not real life. Of course everyone doesn’t get along, but even with that kind of reality, having wisdom before responding to anyone and anything can help. When you cultivate a relationship with God, grow closer to Him, and pray for wisdom, you’ll be surprised at how you handle things. As you start your day today, ask God for wisdom and notice if there are changes in how you interact to the people, things, and circumstances in your life. I’d also like to share this prayer over anyone reading as well: Lord, thank you f...

They say people come into your life for different reasons and seasons Some will seem like forever, only to be temporary And some you thought were temporary may make a comeback Friendship should be valued. Friendship should not be one-sided. You are not to be someone’s back-up plan, "just in case" friend, afterthought, always the one reaching out first, and be benched until it’s convenient for the other person to have time… Make time . Know what happens when you don’t? Someone else, others will appreciate, love and see the value in the friend you took for granted. People move on. Appreciation, mutual respect, showing up for one another in times of need, reciprocity, consistency, and most importantly, love… All go a long way and can make a difference. Choose these people wisely Quality is preferable over quantity. – Divine, designated and distant. 

When you’re still figuring out who you are At first it might be hard hearing other people’s good news. In the beginning you may feel uneasy, annoyed, threatened, insecure, or think you’re failing Because you aren’t experiencing the same things they are. But chill… The day will come when you know who you are. You will figure it out You will figure it out You will figure it out… whatever it might look like for you. And as your confidence develops You’ll understand that you’re right where you’re supposed to be For the different seasons of your life. Don’t let hearing distract or disrupt your focus Because while it may hurt to hear sometimes, You’ll grow to love your own life, hopes, and dreams so much That you’ll be too excited, secure, and productive to be preoccupied with what everyone Else is doing (which is none of your business anyway.) But still, you’ll be happy for them and when it’s your turn, You’ll see the bigger picture. -He’s an on time ...

I stood up to you and you tried to destroy me. When I stand up for myself and for others afraid to speak, I’m viewed as a threat that must be silenced and destroyed, right? Wrong. I was scared, but I spoke up anyway. Taking the high road isn’t always easy when it comes to people like you. I know you tried to poison my name to others, and eventually those others learned the things you said about me weren’t true. Trying to destroy me was never going to make you more powerful. It only magnified that you were wrong about me all along. But I forgive you.  When I tried to get help, I felt outnumbered. That was lonely, massively painful, and scary. Know what happens when people are scared of people like you? They stay silent. What's troubling is that often, when things like this happen, many people will watch you get attacked and say nothing. I forgive them, though. And I still forgive you.  For awhile I thought something was wrong with me because you thought I didn’t belong when ...

The thing about our married counterparts is this: they have the husband and the 2.5 kids and the white picket fence, but they don’t have what we singles have – a blank canvas. In a sense, they don’t have a chance to color both inside and outside of their lives and boldly embrace not knowing what comes next. In many ways, their lives are decided. Settled. Complete. Predictability is not a bad thing, but neither is the unpredictability of the single journey – Mandy Hale Single women have it made (even if they don’t know it yet.) How? They get to come into their own as women and live and love on their own terms. In this season of my life, I overlooked the joys of being a bachelorette while weathering challenges of loneliness and standing by watching many of my peers, family, and others opt for a life of love, marriage, and baby carriages. But now it’s time to raise a glass to the single life. Being a bachelorette has its perks! Bachelorette’s have options like…   ·   ...

In the popular 90s series  Sex and the City  there was an episode titled Bay of Married Pigs in which Carrie Bradshaw and her close friends, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda were discussing the dynamics between singles vs. couples. The conversation went like this: Charlotte: I hate it when you’re the only single person at a dinner party and they look at you like you’re a… Carrie: Loser.  Miranda: Leper. Samantha: Whore. Face it ladies, if you’re still single, you are not to be trusted. I recalled this particular episode after experiencing a similar encounter. As a single woman, some encounters I’ve experienced came from guys that have been spoken for, along with icy glares from their significant others. What’s made me feel odd is the fact that I could ever make someone feel that uncomfortable. I respect other people’s relationships and if I know that a guy is already spoken for (girlfriend, fiancée, wife) I’m friendly, but mindful to keep my distance. I m...

A lot of people ruin their lives on a daily basis. I often hear some people complain, get angry, sad, depressed and grow bitter over choices they’ve made which they thought were good ideas at the time, only to learn they weren’t. As someone that’s made mistakes, I understand and know that as long as you’re still living it’s never too late to learn from your mistakes and work to correct things moving forward. Bad choices can even prompt smarter thinking. No one’s perfect and we all fall short because of mistakes, dumb decisions, and bad moves. That’s just life. But ways you can ruin your life, though? Let’s see… ·          Not cultivating a relationship with God. ·          Neglect prioritizing your health. ·          Rush into big decisions you’re not mature or properly prepared for. (Proverbs 10:22 reads, “The blessing of the Lord brings wealth and he adds no t...

Everyone mourns a death differently. Some people grieve immediately. Others may experience the common five stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) one stage at a time or all at once, and feel like they’ll never get through the loss. It’s tough and different for everyone. When my aunt died last month I believe I was somewhere between denial and a bit of depression. I tend to retreat in private when I’m upset, but after talking with family and a close friend, I was able to open up about what I was feeling. Having a great support system helps. This loss taught me a number of things, and I hope the things I learned prompt others to think as well. Six things I learned about death? ·          It’s important to be present. ·          Follow through when making plans with someone. You never know if or when it’ll be the last time you’ll see that person again. ·     ...

It’s a new year and a great time to be mindful about being and staying healthy. Our bodies, minds and spirits are our individual responsibility to take care of and today I’m sharing some helpful tips on how you can do so. Enjoy! Body - I’d be lying if I said I love working out. I really have to push myself at times because it’s easy to be like, nah, I’m good . But if you want a great and healthy body, you’ve got to stick to a good workout routine. I usually work out 3x’s a week for at least 35 minutes per workout. In my line of work I do a lot of sitting, so some days I feel sluggish and know I need to exercise. I love my body, but whenever I get that sluggish feeling I know I’ve got to get moving. The fall and winter months aren’t excuses to slack off. I believe if you’re good to your body it’ll be good to you. Even if you just do something like take brisk walks, make sure you’re setting aside time to be active. Your body will thank you. What you’re eating also plays a major role...

Wearing masks has become a new normal. Turns out, many people are scared to be themselves. Lots of people are afraid to be seen for who they are. I know I’ve been. My fear was rooted in loneliness and being misunderstood. I used to have the desire to be accepted and to impress others, until I learned their opinions and perceptions of me never mattered anyway. They still don't. More importantly, I learned that everyone is not supposed to get or understand who you are. People hide parts of themselves out of fear that others won’t really like them if they own the true version of who they are. I know this because at one point, I did some silly things to try to fit in until I felt suffocated, got tired of shrinking, hiding, and running from who I am. I felt pressure from others and was encouraged to be something I'm not, and to do and want things, I was unsure were good fits for me in the first place. There have been times I’ve felt weird being me. On numerous occasions I’ve been q...