Perks of the Bachelorette Life

The thing about our married counterparts is this: they have the husband and the 2.5 kids and the white picket fence, but they don’t have what we singles have – a blank canvas. In a sense, they don’t have a chance to color both inside and outside of their lives and boldly embrace not knowing what comes next. In many ways, their lives are decided. Settled. Complete. Predictability is not a bad thing, but neither is the unpredictability of the single journey – Mandy Hale

Single women have it made (even if they don’t know it yet.) How? They get to come into their own as women and live and love on their own terms. In this season of my life, I overlooked the joys of being a bachelorette while weathering challenges of loneliness and standing by watching many of my peers, family, and others opt for a life of love, marriage, and baby carriages. But now it’s time to raise a glass to the single life. Being a bachelorette has its perks! Bachelorette’s have options like…

· Having their own living space and place all to themselves.

· Shopping for home décor and decorating their places as they see fit.

· Traveling whenever they want.

· Spending and saving their money as they’d like.

· Spending their time and energy as they’d like.

· Dating (and flirting) freely without commitment.

· Being able to invite new and different experiences into their lives at any time.

· The option to pack up and live in different cities without having to consult with a partner.

· The option to take new jobs in different cities without having to consult with a partner.

· Being able to spend as much time with their inner circle as they’d like.

· Being able to make plans without having to consult with someone (as opposed to being in a relationship and having to consider a partner.)

· Being able to host girls’ nights in.

· Not having to worry about cooking (or ordering takeout) for anyone but themselves.

· And the option to be fully focused on their individual hopes, goals, and dreams and not waiting on anyone or anything before living their own fabulous lives J.

I wish more women who aren’t tied down yet who struggle with singleness, could see how great they really have it. There are times when it gets rough just dating, waiting, scrolling through the social media world of engagement rings and proposals and wedding photos and attending countless wedding events, baby showers, and more, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a significant other or a relationship or kids, but who says you can’t have your own life in the meantime?

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

Twenty Pieces Of Advice & Wisdom For The Twenty-Something Women Of The World

Years ago, a friend of mine asked me for advice regarding a life change she was considering. She explained her situation and shared, “I wanted to talk to you because you give really good advice.” I was flattered and surprised by her statement. Mostly because while I’ve been approached by family, friends, colleagues, different students I teach, and sometimes even strangers who have asked me for advice regarding whatever it was they happened to bring my way, some haven’t always listened and then proceeded to make regretful decisions that could have been avoided if they had listened to what I shared in the first place. And lately, a group that’s heavily been on my heart and mind are women in their twenties. I’m only 33 but I remember what it was like for my friends and me moving through our twenties. It wasn’t the easiest decade to navigate, and it certainly had its ups and downs, but armed with the experiences, advice, and wisdom I have now, there are definitely things I believe we ...

Making Waves