Perks of the Bachelorette Life

The thing about our married counterparts is this: they have the husband and the 2.5 kids and the white picket fence, but they don’t have what we singles have – a blank canvas. In a sense, they don’t have a chance to color both inside and outside of their lives and boldly embrace not knowing what comes next. In many ways, their lives are decided. Settled. Complete. Predictability is not a bad thing, but neither is the unpredictability of the single journey – Mandy Hale

Single women have it made (even if they don’t know it yet.) How? They get to come into their own as women and live and love on their own terms. In this season of my life, I overlooked the joys of being a bachelorette while weathering challenges of loneliness and standing by watching many of my peers, family, and others opt for a life of love, marriage, and baby carriages. But now it’s time to raise a glass to the single life. Being a bachelorette has its perks! Bachelorette’s have options like…

· Having their own living space and place all to themselves.

· Shopping for home décor and decorating their places as they see fit.

· Traveling whenever they want.

· Spending and saving their money as they’d like.

· Spending their time and energy as they’d like.

· Dating (and flirting) freely without commitment.

· Being able to invite new and different experiences into their lives at any time.

· The option to pack up and live in different cities without having to consult with a partner.

· The option to take new jobs in different cities without having to consult with a partner.

· Being able to spend as much time with their inner circle as they’d like.

· Being able to make plans without having to consult with someone (as opposed to being in a relationship and having to consider a partner.)

· Being able to host girls’ nights in.

· Not having to worry about cooking (or ordering takeout) for anyone but themselves.

· And the option to be fully focused on their individual hopes, goals, and dreams and not waiting on anyone or anything before living their own fabulous lives J.

I wish more women who aren’t tied down yet who struggle with singleness, could see how great they really have it. There are times when it gets rough just dating, waiting, scrolling through the social media world of engagement rings and proposals and wedding photos and attending countless wedding events, baby showers, and more, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a significant other or a relationship or kids, but who says you can’t have your own life in the meantime?

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves