Perks of the Bachelorette Life

The thing about our married counterparts is this: they have the husband and the 2.5 kids and the white picket fence, but they don’t have what we singles have – a blank canvas. In a sense, they don’t have a chance to color both inside and outside of their lives and boldly embrace not knowing what comes next. In many ways, their lives are decided. Settled. Complete. Predictability is not a bad thing, but neither is the unpredictability of the single journey – Mandy Hale

Single women have it made (even if they don’t know it yet.) How? They get to come into their own as women and live and love on their own terms. In this season of my life, I overlooked the joys of being a bachelorette while weathering challenges of loneliness and standing by watching many of my peers, family, and others opt for a life of love, marriage, and baby carriages. But now it’s time to raise a glass to the single life. Being a bachelorette has its perks! Bachelorette’s have options like…

· Having their own living space and place all to themselves.

· Shopping for home décor and decorating their places as they see fit.

· Traveling whenever they want.

· Spending and saving their money as they’d like.

· Spending their time and energy as they’d like.

· Dating (and flirting) freely without commitment.

· Being able to invite new and different experiences into their lives at any time.

· The option to pack up and live in different cities without having to consult with a partner.

· The option to take new jobs in different cities without having to consult with a partner.

· Being able to spend as much time with their inner circle as they’d like.

· Being able to make plans without having to consult with someone (as opposed to being in a relationship and having to consider a partner.)

· Being able to host girls’ nights in.

· Not having to worry about cooking (or ordering takeout) for anyone but themselves.

· And the option to be fully focused on their individual hopes, goals, and dreams and not waiting on anyone or anything before living their own fabulous lives J.

I wish more women who aren’t tied down yet who struggle with singleness, could see how great they really have it. There are times when it gets rough just dating, waiting, scrolling through the social media world of engagement rings and proposals and wedding photos and attending countless wedding events, baby showers, and more, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a significant other or a relationship or kids, but who says you can’t have your own life in the meantime?

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Stop Saying Stupid Stuff To People Who Are Childless

I’m convinced that many people don’t think before they speak. Especially when it comes to interacting with people who don’t have children. Normally, I’ve held my peace with this and felt the need to solely address women when it comes to this topic, but lately this is a message that men can benefit from too. Stop saying stupid stuff to people who don’t have children . I know this might be a difficult task for those of you who are nosey, have concerns that have nothing to do with you, or may be unhappy in your own life, but stop with the questions, jokes, and reckless comments. Even if you believe you’re being funny, making conversation, or coming from a genuine place, you’re honestly out of line. Because someone not having children and why is none of your business. I don’t have children, and I honestly don’t know if I will, but as a woman, I’m good with my life either way. I’ll always be grateful for what I have instead of lamenting about what I don’t. Which is probably why getting olde...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

Making Waves