Making Waves

Instead of celebrating my birthday for one day, I decided to get on board with the “celebrate your birthday for the whole month” trend and I have to say, it’s definitely something I’m on board with. My birthday was amazing! I wanted a nice, quiet, and peaceful brunch with my family, and I got that and more. We all ended up on the beach too, which was a wonderful surprise (as the beach is one of my favorite retreats) and a great way to celebrate. I highly recommend having birthday months and enjoying what makes them special for you too. How might one have an amazing birthday month? Keep reading… Have A Birthday Photoshoot. I enjoy taking pictures and last year I dabbled with doing a professional shoot for my birthday. This year, I thought it’d be fun to do again, and I loved the way my photos came together. I picked out a dress I felt beautiful and confident in, a simple pair of heels, got my hair done, did my makeup and just went for it. It’s cool being your own model for a day ...

We were never really  friends , were we? I got that the moment I said  h e l l o  and you put your head down and pretended not to know me. Who would’ve thought after all our coffee dates, lunch dates, dinner dates, shared secrets, long talks, and trying to figure out our lives, futures, fears, and a bunch of other stuff together, that we wouldn’t be speaking anymore? Now? We are s t r a n g e r s. Girls I used to know…  Quantity.  Friend. Associate. Sister.  Seasonal. Complicated. #Squadgoals. Friend requests. Follow me. Boundaries. Miscommunication. User. Taker.  Inconsistent. Temporary. Healing.  Quality.  -Superficial.

Every year around St. Patrick’s Day a ton of runners head to the Virginia Beach Oceanfront for the annual Shamrock Marathon. Different people I know were regular participants and I decided to join along, for the very first time, as a standby volunteer while cheering on some folks I knew and different ones I’d just met. The event was a blast, and the fact that it was near the beach was definitely a perk. It was exciting seeing so many people with their family and friends participating in such a fun-filled local event. I’ve already been asked to actually run in the race next year (which I’m not quite ready for just yet… we’ll see 😄) but what I do know is that I had a really good time. If you’re looking for something fun to do, consider checking out different upcoming events in the Hampton Roads area and wherever else you may find yourself in this upcoming spring and summer season.  Do something fun this weekend and enjoy yourself. TGIF!

When I graduated from college, I had some big dreams and career goals in mind. I applied for different opportunities for about five months before I finished school. I’d already been on interviews for different jobs that I went out for and had different offers to choose from, but none of which aligned with my professional goals or dreams. I’d even applied to places I was super overqualified for, but because the clock was ticking and I was growing weary and worried about continually watching  Fresh Prince of Bel-Air  reruns on my mom and dad’s couch, it was time to take a job that was available. About two months after I graduated, I accepted a position as an academic advisor.  I was warned about different challenges that would come with the role. I was also encouraged by others to consider seeking employment elsewhere, but I needed a job, so I gave it a shot.  My first year as an academic advisor was rough.  I was naïve to the expectations, demands,...

I wouldn’t want to know or hear the thoughts of men all the time. I imagine it’d be a disturbing and unsettling thing. And it’s exactly what happened to Taraji P. Henson in the movie,  What Men Want.  I was impressed with her performance and comedic range portraying a strong female character named Ali, who happened to be in a heavily male-dominated work environment. When she was overlooked for a recent promotion at the company she worked at, she was upset and had every reason to be. She was smart, highly qualified, and equally if not more, hardworking than her male colleagues. Although this movie was a comedy, this kind of stuff happens in different workplaces all the time. Throughout the film a handful of people told Ali she didn’t connect well with men, so during a night out with her girlfriends, she met a psychic who gave her tea that allowed her to hear the thoughts of men. I’ve had the opportunity to work with a lot of men, and once, during an unfiltered moment, I over...

I believe most women are incredibly intuitive .  Many possess the ability to instinctively know certain things without reason before they truly become  known . That said, it’s amazing to me when I speak, meet, or connect with smart, successful, and bright young women who seem to be blind or get played by different guys they like, are interested in, date, or marry. I’ve talked with some who’ve been lied to, cheated on, and misled when in hindsight, there were clear signs and red flags about the kind of guys they were dealing with. I’m no man-hater or relationship expert, but as a bachelorette, I’ve learned some things. If you pay attention and listen to your intuition and instincts, you’ll be able to figure out what kind of guys you’re dealing with. Here’s my bachelorette guide to reading guys…  Deep Dive.  I usually give anyone I meet for the first time the benefit of the doubt, even when I’ve been warned by others not to, but when it comes to reading guys, mo...

I’d been wanting to go out bowling for a long time and had the chance to link up with a friend and some of her friends for a night out of bowling, shooting pool, and plenty of fun. And it was a blast! It’d been a while since I’d played, and I was surprised to see that I hadn’t lost my stride. I even came in second place 😄  If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for something fun to do, check out Pinboy’s At the Beach.  Do something fun this weekend and enjoy yourself. TGIF!

It’s a common question asked to many singles. “Why are you still single?” It’s usually followed by unsolicited advice about what to do to change one’s status. When asked this question, my response as a bachelorette is usually to ask the person/people asking me, “Why?” I don’t ask couples why they’re couples. I don’t ask people how they raise their kids. And I usually don’t ask into other people’s business at all because minding my own business occupies me enough. Some of my single friends, family, and colleagues get upset, defensive even, (and justifiably so) whenever someone asks them, “Why are you still single?” I wonder do the people asking the question ever think that maybe someone’s single because they choose to be? A relationship or settling down or dating is not a priority or necessity for everyone. There are a lot of women who are perfectly content doing their own thing, living their own life, and tenaciously going after their own goals and dreams. Then there are some who ar...

“I want to talk to you about something. I just want to say, be careful at work when someone says something to you or asks you to do something. You don’t want to come off like an angry black woman…” I was issued a warning. I’d already received a similar message from a colleague I once worked with who also happened to be a woman of color. It was a message black women all over the world have heard for far too long.  If an issue arises, if you’re mistreated, if something happens you don’t like or understand or that doesn’t make sense or may not even be ethical, keep your mouth shut so you’re not perceived as an  “ angry black woman .” Excuse me?  Let’s dissect this “angry black woman” trope, shall we?  When was the last time you heard or saw the titles:  Angry White Woman ,  Angry Hispanic Woman ,  Angry Asian Woman ,  Angry Ethnically Mixed Woman , or any other kind of race being stereotyped as angry at the level and capacity at which blac...

A young woman who terrorized me when I was a little girl works in my office. I see her almost every day. How’s that for a small world? We’d already crossed paths in passing, and while I’d managed to actively avoid running into her, one day, we both ended up in the ladies’ room at the same time. Alone. Together. Face to Face. Only this time as adults. As  grown  women. “Hi, how are you?” She said with a smile. “I’m fine, how are you?” I responded. During our brief encounter, she mentioned seeing my name and that she thought she remembered me from somewhere.  She knows exactly who I am,  I thought. Although the encounter felt insincere, I went along with it. While it’d been a very long time since we’d actually spoken, I still believed she remembered and knew who I was the whole time. I used to be scared of her but after our brief encounter, I was relieved. I didn’t have to avoid running into her anymore. We could say “hi” and keep it moving. Professional. Cordial. C...

In honor of March Madness and my overall appreciation for the sport of basketball and films in general, I thought it’d be cool to recommend some of the best basketball films I’ve seen or have heard are worth checking out. If you’re a basketball fan and have some cool recommendations I haven’t listed, I’d like to know about them. Check out the list below and enjoy! 🏀 Love & Basketball – This one is a classic and I  love  it. I’ve seen it a ton of times. Plus, the chemistry between Sanaa Lathan and Omar Epps? Legendary.  Space Jam – The GOAT (Greatest of All Time), Michael Jordan, plays the starring role and helps lead the Toon Squad to victory. Most ‘90s kids grew up with this film. I still enjoy it to this day.  Air Bud – This one is adorable and inspirational. It’s the story of a young boy and his dog Buddy, who happens to be a canine that becomes a basketball star.   Glory Road – This basketball film tackles issues involving racial tension...

I’ve been natural since October 2014. My journey through the natural hair world has been filled with highs and lows, but I’m finally easing into a space where I’m enjoying the ride and falling in love with different styles and ways of wearing my hair. In the black community, particularly with black women, hair is a big deal. When I got box braids for the first time, I was honestly nervous about wearing them in professional settings and in environments where many non-minorities weren’t used to seeing the style. Although I felt beautiful with braids, I’d read and heard some horrifying stories involving women of color being discriminated against, sent home from work, or heavily judged because of their natural hairstyles. When I wore my braids, I picked up on some weird vibes from certain people, got awkward stares, and at the same time, received compliments from others. When I was between styles and wore my natural Afro, I really felt I was shunned, mishandled, and treated funny. Espec...