A young woman who terrorized me when I was a little girl works in my office. I see her almost every day. How’s that for a small world? We’d already crossed paths in passing, and while I’d managed to actively avoid running into her, one day, we both ended up in the ladies’ room at the same time. Alone. Together. Face to Face. Only this time as adults. As grown women. “Hi, how are you?” She said with a smile. “I’m fine, how are you?” I responded. During our brief encounter, she mentioned seeing my name and that she thought she remembered me from somewhere. She knows exactly who I am, I thought. Although the encounter felt insincere, I went along with it. While it’d been a very long time since we’d actually spoken, I still believed she remembered and knew who I was the whole time. I used to be scared of her but after our brief encounter, I was relieved. I didn’t have to avoid running into her anymore. We could say “hi” and keep it moving. Professional. Cordial. Chill. I told a trusted colleague about the encounter but wasn’t comfortable offering up a name. To my surprise, my colleague was able to point out who I mentioned. “I used to be that girl,” she said. “That’s how I knew who you were talking about.” My colleague shared that when she was young, she wasn’t mean but hung out with a crew of people who weren’t the friendliest to other girls in high school. She also shared how bad she felt running into some of the women who were treated badly and had endured the meanness from some of her friends from back then. “I’m sorry you had to go through what you went through,” she went on. Then she hugged me. “She seems like a nice person, though. People change.”
I’m not holding a grudge or upset or angry or seeking some kind of apology or revenge. No, none of those things. I just think life is an interesting teacher. Especially when it brings you full circle. And even more so when you think about some of what scares you most. Growing up, I was bullied. A lot. And I was scared of mean girls. And as an adult, I’ve sometimes been fearful of mean women. They’re almost everywhere now. At work, in families, churches, social circles, the internet, reality television, and a ton of other places. It took me a long time to understand that a lot of my fears as a little girl and as a woman, were scarier in my mind than how everything was unfolding in real time. Sure, getting bullied was bad when I was younger, but I got through it. I just wasn’t interested in being picked on, pushed around, fighting, fighting and losing, or being kicked out of school. I’ve sometimes wondered if God was preparing me, even in my childhood, to go through certain things like that in preparation for different things in my future. Guidance counselors, my parents, and my mentor at the time all taught me an important lesson I’ve held to this day. “Don’t let it get inside your head.” “It” being the negative words someone says, threats, intimidation through fear tactics, and more. Your mind is powerful and will believe what you choose to believe. You may have valid fears, things that scare you, people that scare you, and situations that scare you, but you don’t have to surrender or hide out because of them. Move through what scares you. Do it afraid if you have to but move through it. This will almost never be easy, but you can’t put a price on the peace of mind that comes with facing and moving through what scares you. 2 Timothy 1:7 reads, “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and a sound mind.” Remember this scripture. It’s a reminder that you have nothing and no one to be afraid of. You’ve got this.