Natural Hair Photo Diary

I’ve been natural since October 2014. My journey through the natural hair world has been filled with highs and lows, but I’m finally easing into a space where I’m enjoying the ride and falling in love with different styles and ways of wearing my hair. In the black community, particularly with black women, hair is a big deal. When I got box braids for the first time, I was honestly nervous about wearing them in professional settings and in environments where many non-minorities weren’t used to seeing the style. Although I felt beautiful with braids, I’d read and heard some horrifying stories involving women of color being discriminated against, sent home from work, or heavily judged because of their natural hairstyles. When I wore my braids, I picked up on some weird vibes from certain people, got awkward stares, and at the same time, received compliments from others. When I was between styles and wore my natural Afro, I really felt I was shunned, mishandled, and treated funny. Especially in professional settings and during job interviews. I thought maybe I was trippin’ when it kept happening, but I wasn’t imagining things. Whenever I didn’t get certain opportunities, I just knew I’d be great at and was qualified for, I couldn’t shake an unsettling feeling that it had something to do with the way I looked and how I wore my hair. I was even told by someone that I should wear my hair “straighter” to be treated better 😳 Crazy right? It’s sad that these kinds of things happen, but it’s real. This whole idea about diversity, equality, and equal opportunity is not always a reality for minorities. Especially for black women and for anyone else who finds themselves on the receiving end of any kind of prejudice or discrimination. You can have a great education, a sizeable amount of experience under your belt, and have a lot of skills, passion, and motivation to bring to the table and still get overlooked, passed over, and discriminated against because of the way you look. I wear my hair how I like to wear it and I’m good with natural hairstyles that make me feel good. I’m happy to see more and more women of color stepping out with their natural styles and doing so confidently and unapologetically. Going natural has been a movement. There’s so much versatility that comes with being natural and some great stories behind each style. That said, I thought it’d be fun to do a photo diary of different styles I’ve worn since going natural. I’ve done some of my own styles, experimented with protective styles, enlisted help from my mom with styling, worn my hair silky straight, got professionally done braids and sew-ins from talented and highly skilled hair stylists, and again, have sported my own Afro puff too. The journey continues…

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves