Making Waves

Threehundredsixtyfive 365 What will you do with yours? - Be intentional, whole, and blessed. 

I’m just being myself Sorry I’m not sorry I learned to speak well, made good grades in school, and wasn’t a stereotype… My parents made sure I was cultured and groomed for success I was aware of how hard this world would be if I wasn’t. What is this “acting white” you speak of? -I don’t like labels much.

In June the much anticipated 2Pac biopic  All Eyez on Me  was released. The critics were brutal and a number of fans had mixed reviews as well. As a 2Pac fan, I enjoyed the film. While there were scenes in the movie that seemed rushed, overall, it was well done. Having a glimpse inside the life of 2Pac was incredible. He was a creative genius, activist, and poet, easy on the eyes, bold, and outspoken, all of which All Eyez on Me portrayed well. Prior to the release of the biopic, I was already familiar with his music and a number of his films (specifically Juice and Poetic Justice ) both being films where you could see his star rising. His portrayal as Bishop in Juice was terrifying in the best kind of way. He owned the part masterfully. And in his role as Lucky in Poetic Justice , you could still see the street side of him, with a chill and likeable vibe. What’s incredible about 2Pac is the fact that his legacy still remains and not just because of the release of All Eyez ...

I’ve had the great fortune to peek into the lives and actually speak with a number of married, separated, and divorced folks who’ve been able to give me tremendous amounts of insight into their lives. I’ve obtained valuable information from them all. I don’t pass up opportunities to glean from their lives, because I’ve learned things I would’ve never thought about in the first place. Below are some of my findings and advice I’ve received from different men and women (older and younger) who’ve openly shared their experiences with marriage, separations, and divorce. Check it out… From the married folks… Don’t make permanent financial decisions and purchases based on someone else’s income (always be in a position to take care of yourself no matter what.) Get pre-marital counseling. Live a whole, full life on your own before committing to anyone long term. Take your time and don’t rush into marriage. Relationships are hard work. If you see something that’s not right about th...

One Sunday morning one of my mentors delivered a sermon about – pressing . More specifically, growing and pressing through pressure and the challenging ups and downs in life. After she spoke, I hugged her and thanked her for what she shared. It was a timely word. I don’t know if some people are blind to the fact that no matter how blessed you are, being blessed is not the absence of problems. And from experience, I submit that the more blessed you are, the more pressure you have to deal with. It often comes with the territory of being blessed. God has been very good to me, but honestly, I don’t enjoy the press of pressure. Because while pressure can help build a great foundation and character, it can be painful, uncomfortable and downright discouraging at times. In T.D. Jakes, Can You Stand to be Blessed? He writes, “To be honest being blessed is hard work. Everything God gives you requires maintenance. God gave man The Garden, but the man still had to dress it. There is a “down...

I’m not a huge fan of public speaking or having people stare at me, however, I often find myself in situations where I’m either standing in a room full of people talking about my writing, or individually sharing what I enjoy most about being a writer. Such was the situation at an event I attended awhile back. I had to share what I believed was one thing that defined me. I listened as others who shared before me talked about material things like, jewelry (wedding rings and other heirlooms that were of great value to them) and when I stood up to speak, the first thing that came to my mind was – storyteller . I’m a writer, and while I do love writing and storytelling, I wouldn’t look at them as things that define me, but rather things I know I’m called to do. I spoke and said, I’m a writer and a storyteller. I believe everyone has a story and that now, more than ever, there’s a need for outspoken, bold, courageous, and authentic Christian writers to share stories that people need to ...

I love winter. It’s one of my favorite seasons and I look forward to this time of year for a number of reasons. Mostly because of… Freezing cold weather and an excuse to bundle up. A warm and beautifully lit fireplace. An excuse to wear boots -- my love of UGG boots is just too much. They’re seriously so warm and comfy. Embracing the holidays and being able to give to others. Snuggling. Comfort food -- and letting go of pressure to count calories during the holidays. Ice-skating -- I recently tried it for the first time this year, and although I slipped and fell on the ice at one point, I still had a blast! J This time of year just feels so special, and I’m exciting for all the great things to come. What do you love about winter?

I don’t meant to brag, but my hugging skills are on point. I love hugs and I believe they’re one of the best things you can give to someone else.  Studies even show that hugs can lower fears and be stress-relieving. Hugs sound great, right? What I enjoy most about hugging is being wrapped up in someone else’s arms, sharing the same love and affection, and another person’s willingness to be embraced and enjoy the hug as well. That’s why it’s so bizarre to me to meet people who don’t like hugs. Like, seriously? Give out hugs (so as long as you have consent) and be willing to receive them. They’re awesome, plus they’re free! What’s not to like?

My love affair with books endures, or, if anything, is growing. My appreciation for a well-crafted sentence or a perfectly chosen word is only rising, and my fascination with narrative and characterization and revelation, especially in memoir, is akin to an obsession – Shauna Niequist I love reading. In fact, books excite me as much as a beautiful and incredibly gorgeous man. (Yeah – it’s that serious.) My love affair with books began when I was a little girl. When my brother and I were kids my mom made trips to the library a recurring event. I looked forward to those trips, and little did I know that my love of reading would be the spark that ignited me to get into writing. It’s odd meeting people that aren’t into reading. Reading is such a beneficial thing to do because it can keep your mind sharp, relax you, and bring you into the world of all kinds of endless stories.  I frequent the library and Barnes & Noble Bookstore, often. Even if it’s just for browsing purpos...

When we are who we are called to be, we will set the world ablaze – St. Catherine of Siena In my line of work I help guide people towards their purpose. I don’t necessarily tell them what they should be doing, but I help them dig deep about what it is that excites them, and prompt them figure out how to stay on a path that can guide them towards success. When I was in undergrad I wrote a fictional short story about a college student attending a school called, Purpose College . My professor at the time really liked that I named the university Purpose . I did that intentionally, because I believe one of the biggest things a lot of people struggle with is trying to figure out what they’re supposed to be doing with their lives. Often, I find a lot of people spending time wandering or doing things they don’t enjoy or may even hate doing, while allowing things like being realistic or peer pressure or family or societal expectations sway their choices, while letting their dreams be she...

If I can describe what this year has been like for me, one sentence comes to mind - God, I Don’t Like This… But I Trust You. It’s been a year of accomplished goals and big dreams. I’ve been fortunate and excited to see amazing things come into fruition and anticipate much more with the arrival of a new year. I also took some losses that were personally painful, and I had to let go of some things and people I had challenges parting ways with.  There were also times I considered parting ways with the “church” for good, running away, giving up, quitting, cussing some people out, flipping stuff over, and going to a secluded location to have a good scream, simply to vent the frustration of things I’d been keeping bottled up throughout the year.  Surely doing those things wouldn’t have “fixed” me, though. At that very least they would’ve given me a temporary satisfaction and a fleeting high, but ultimately they wouldn’t ease the pain of some open wounds in need of healing. ...

Awhile back I wrote about minimalism and how it impacted my approach to different things after learning more about it. I recently found myself getting rid of more things I either don’t need or no longer use, and questioning different connections and relationships in my life. These were some of the things that crossed my mind as I started clearing things out… I have too much stuff. What can I get rid of? Why do I have all this stuff? Do I still need it? Does it serve a purpose anymore? I can’t take any of this with me when I die. It’s just stuff. How can I spend less and contribute more? Why do I still have this person’s number? Why am I following certain people on social media? Are the people I call friends and the relationships I’ve established, meaningful? I got rid of more and more and saw what was really important in my life. I felt like weights were lifted, and it was one of the best feelings ever. With this year coming to an end, have you thought about what’s reall...

I love watching movies and I really love holiday movies during this time of year. In honor of my movie lover ways, I’ve put together a list of some of my favorites. You may have seen some of them or haven’t, but they’re all worth checking out. Take a look… Love Actually The Holiday Home Alone (and the sequel) Elf Four Christmases This Christmas Just Friends The Preacher’s Wife The Best Man Holiday The Santa Clause Jack Frost (Michael Keaton version) The Grinch (cartoon version and Jim Carrey version) Last Holiday Jingle All The Way… What are your favorites? All these movies are wonderful, but there’s one in particular I enjoy the most and it’s  Love Actually . Love Actually is a romantic comedy about different intertwined love stories, leading up until Christmas. There’s a memorable scene I find very special and if you’ve seen the movie you’ll understand what's happening (it’s in the link below) but if you haven’t, you should watch the movie and yo...

During horse races horses wear blinders. Race horses don their blinders to remain focused on what’s in front of them, all while not being preoccupied with what’s behind them, beside them and ultimately mastering the skill of remaining focused on their individual course to win the race. These blinders help keep the horses from getting distracted or disrupted with what’s going on around them. This concept was a refreshing reminder to me of the importance of staying on track and making sure I’m mindful of my own blinders being on . I pray about this often. Are your blinders on? In the past, not having my blinders on have gotten me off focus, upset, frustrated and disappointed about things like… Caring what other people think. Dwindling seasonal relationships. Past failures and setbacks. And comparisons. All of which ended up being energy drains on my spirit, mind, body and time. These days things like comparison traps and trying to keep up with what any and everyone ...

Growing up my family had dial up internet. (Yes, there was a time when Wi-Fi was non-existent.) There was exactly one computer in the house that was the family computer and my brother and I had e-mail accounts, closely monitored by our parents. We weren’t allowed to use the computer without permission or during the school week unless we had an assignment or project that needed to be done. There was no social media. No smart phones. No texting. And no way of anyone being able to have multiple ways of being able to get in touch with you or clock your moves. I remember that time (early through late 90s) being much more peaceful. These days? There’s practically technology almost, everywhere . People aren’t as present as they used to be. Most people seem so “plugged in” that they’re often out of touch with reality. Others have meltdowns and fall into comparison traps after scrolling through their social media feeds, and a lot of people are definitely way more impatient. I don’t be...

It’s important to know yourself. A great way to learn more about you is to take a Myers-Briggs personality assessment. I’ve taken it a handful of times and my results have consistently come out as an - INFJ. My results helped me understand a lot about myself, my relationships and why I function the way I do. According to my results, INFJ’s: Are advocate personalities, creative, insightful, and determined and sensitive. They’re also, extremely private and tend to be perfectionist and can burn out easily. Additionally, they tend to be closed books and encourage their children to be unique and own their uniqueness. In romantic relationships INFJ’s tend to question if the relationship is real and don’t play around when it comes to being seriously involved. If you’d like to take the assessment, click the link below. Enjoy. https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

In November Netflix premiered a series based on Spike Lee’s original film  She’s Gotta Have It . I’m a huge fan of Spike Lee’s work.  Malcolm X, Do the Right Thing, School Daze , and He Got Game are a handful of my personal favorites. I watched his film She’s Gotta Have It for the first time awhile back this year, and I thought it was interesting. The basis of the film is about a young woman named, Nola Darling, who can’t figure out what kind of guy she wants to date, so she dates three (very different guys – a goofball, a put-together guy and a narcissist) all at once, and also has a brief fling with a woman, while figuring out what it is she’s looking for. Fast forward to now and the series on Netflix? Bold. And… Brilliant. Creative. Smart. Funny. Informative. Thought Provoking. When I heard a series was coming out – I honestly wasn’t interested. But before I knew it, I finished the series in two days.  I can’t deny that what Spike Lee has done with...

I didn’t go on my first date until I was 21. Compared to my very experienced friends, I was the late bloomer in the group. The date was actually embarrassing and funny. I’m glad I can laugh about it now, but in retrospect, I had no business going out with the guy in the first place. I was an eager, low self-esteem, twenty-something who didn’t think I could do any better. I accepted a date with a guy who wasn’t worth my time, energy, interest or tears. At 21 I was very naïve. I suspect this guy probably knew that, which is why things didn’t go beyond date one. I believe he was three years older than me, very cool, cute and seemed like he had himself together. He was in the military, in school and seemed to be heading on a steady path. He was also a package deal - he was a father with a little girl. That normally would’ve been a deal breaker for me. When my family and close friends found out about this, they didn’t approve, but I was game. Also know - If your family and close fr...

The holidays can be a wonderful time. There are decorations, great food, cool music and plenty of cheer to go around (and eggnog, too – tastes sooo good!) But there’s another side to the holidays that can be not so cheerful. I’ve met and spoke with a number of people who are going through some heavy things this time of year, and honestly, not feeling as joyful. A number of people are dealing with things like financial crises, depression, loss, illness, and many other challenging situations weighing on their spirits. One of my core values is - positivity. While there are times when I don’t necessarily feel like being positive, I try to make an effort to be as consistent as possible with it. A positive spirit and attitude can shift your perspective even in the midst of the crappiest of situations. If you’re feeling down, I want you to be encouraged and be merry.  It’s a great time of year and worthy of celebration. Spread cheer, love and as much positivity as you can. Unless...