Making Waves

Before the beginning of this summer, I received some heavy news.   News that felt like someone knocked the wind out of me, and at the same time, snatched my heart out of my chest. News that had me on the phone with two of my closest confidants barely being able to talk because of what I was processing. News that made me really sit, strategize, reevaluate, and reprioritize different things in my life. News that had me reaching out to my prayer warrior friends to intercede on my behalf. And news that had me petitioning heartfelt prayers to God with the words, “If I can do this, God, let’s move forward. If not, I need you to help me get through this. Not my will but yours. You’re still so good, even when I get what I want and when I don’t.”   Then I stepped away and waited. Then He answered. And then with His approval and a whole lot of faith (with works), I’ve been handling my business. And though there have been times when I’ve been tired, discouraged, and uncertain of what the...

I've been a Christian since  I was seven years old. And for as long as I can remember, I was raised in church and taught everything I needed to know about what it meant to be a good girl and a true believer. Good girls were believers who were in church every Sunday, attended weekly bible studies, volunteered for extracurricular church activities and events, and didn’t listen to secular music, drink alcohol, or do drugs. We were also advised not to date (and typically weren’t allowed to date at all) but interestingly enough were taught to prepare for marriage by first pledging allegiance to purity and abstaining from sex until marriage (along with wearing those True Love Waits purity rings), which looking back, probably wasn’t a good idea since some of those teachings shamed many young women back then who weren’t abstaining, were sexually assaulted, or eventually decided not to abstain from sex at all.   Even more interesting was noticing that the young men I attended church wi...

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6  As this current school year is winding down and the pace of things have eased, I’ve had some much-needed quiet time to be still and reflect on my third year as an English educator. And if I could describe this recent school year in one word, that word would be challenging . I’ve often heard that the first year of teaching is the most stressful, and to my surprise, that wasn’t the case for me at all – even when I happened to be juggling grad school and teaching full time my first year. I also have the distinction of working in a Title 1 middle school which primarily consists of working with a demographic of students who are often struggling learners and come from low-income households.  Before accepting the position to teach, I was warned of the challenges that can come with working in a Title 1 middle school with students who don’t have stable (or always safe...

It was the middle of August 2022, and after I began removing yet another gorgeous crotchet protective style I’d worn a few months prior, I noticed that there was some hair thinning at the crown of my head. Initially, I wasn’t too concerned, especially since I could style my very full head of natural hair in a way that could conceal the thinning. Since going natural (dating back to October 2014), I’ve typically always allowed my hair to “breathe” between different styles to maintain and preserve my hair health and growth.   Shortly after the end of the summer, and after allowing my hair to breathe for a few weeks, I got my hair styled with sew-in extensions for my best friend’s upcoming wedding. I was the only Black bridesmaid in the crew and didn’t want another stylist touching my real hair, so I figured extensions would be the best route since I’d had them before. And as always, they looked great! However, when I got them removed and had my natural hair blown out in November,...

Years ago, a friend of mine asked me for advice regarding a life change she was considering. She explained her situation and shared, “I wanted to talk to you because you give really good advice.” I was flattered and surprised by her statement. Mostly because while I’ve been approached by family, friends, colleagues, different students I teach, and sometimes even strangers who have asked me for advice regarding whatever it was they happened to bring my way, some haven’t always listened and then proceeded to make regretful decisions that could have been avoided if they had listened to what I shared in the first place. And lately, a group that’s heavily been on my heart and mind are women in their twenties.  I’m only 33 but I remember what it was like for my friends and me moving through our twenties. It wasn’t the easiest decade to navigate, and it certainly had its ups and downs, but armed with the experiences, advice, and wisdom I have now, there are definitely things I believe we ...

This Friday, I'll be turning 33.   As I approach this joyful and celebratory occasion, I’ve intentionally taken time to be still and reflect on where I’m at, the different things I’m doing, and the direction my life is heading as I move through my thirties. And in this present moment, truthfully, I am  content . I’m spiritually grounded, in good physical health, and have a great support system of family and close friends, along with purposeful career opportunities I enjoy, financial stability, a home of my own, and a fur baby who loves me.    Life is pretty good.   However, different spectators who have limited views on my life seem to think otherwise…   Specifically, regarding my love life.   Because a single thirty-something year old woman, with no husband and no children, couldn’t possibly be happy and have more going for herself, right? I’m going somewhere with this, so hold on.   About a month ago, I was asked if I’d ever been engaged. The ti...

As an English teacher, a core belief I’ve held close since the beginning of my career has been the importance of relationship building. I believe that if great relationships between teachers, students, and parents are established at the beginning of the school year, everything else will fall into place. Authentically modeling, practicing, and establishing mutually respectful and professional relationships within my classroom has been the bridge for effective communication, solid classroom management, and creating a safe and effective learning environment that fits each of my student’s needs.  And though I’ve seen and experienced the benefits of great relationship building, unfortunately, there have been times when some students and parents have not been receptive or interested in my efforts to establish connections that would best serve all parties involved. I’ve also noticed and shared spaces with other educators, school counselors, and administrators who’ve experienced the same....