The Things You See Coming… And The Things You Don’t

Before the beginning of this summer, I received some heavy news.

News that felt like someone knocked the wind out of me, and at the same time, snatched my heart out of my chest. News that had me on the phone with two of my closest confidants barely being able to talk because of what I was processing. News that made me really sit, strategize, reevaluate, and reprioritize different things in my life. News that had me reaching out to my prayer warrior friends to intercede on my behalf. And news that had me petitioning heartfelt prayers to God with the words, “If I can do this, God, let’s move forward. If not, I need you to help me get through this. Not my will but yours. You’re still so good, even when I get what I want and when I don’t.”

Then I stepped away and waited. Then He answered. And then with His approval and a whole lot of faith (with works), I’ve been handling my business. And though there have been times when I’ve been tired, discouraged, and uncertain of what the future holds, I’ve been intentional about doing my best to remain present and thankful for this incredible life I get to live. I could choose to worry, cry, scream, break things, feel sorry for myself… or I could choose to have peace and trust God. I know He wouldn’t give me a test I can’t pass, and I know that He’s already ordered my steps. Even when those steps are hard, uncomfortable, and sometimes scary.

One of the things I’m observing and learning about life is that you’re only a phone call, text message, email, or conversation away from your life being changed unexpectedly. There will be things you see coming… and there will be things you don’t. And when this happens, no matter what's going on, remember that you are in God’s hands. You are always in His hands.

Though my family and trusted confidants are aware of the details about what’s happening, I’m pausing on writing about everything until I get to the other side of things. However, I have been putting pen to paper as things move forward. And I’m confident that once this chapter approaches completion, the masterpiece story I’ve been longing to write will come together in an encouraging, meaningful, and purposeful way that will help others who need it the most. No matter what life brings your way, stay the course. You’ve got this.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves