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Thirty-Something Check In


This Friday, I'll be turning 33.

 

As I approach this joyful and celebratory occasion, I’ve intentionally taken time to be still and reflect on where I’m at, the different things I’m doing, and the direction my life is heading as I move through my thirties. And in this present moment, truthfully, I am content. I’m spiritually grounded, in good physical health, and have a great support system of family and close friends, along with purposeful career opportunities I enjoy, financial stability, a home of my own, and a fur baby who loves me. 

 

Life is pretty good.

 

However, different spectators who have limited views on my life seem to think otherwise…

 

Specifically, regarding my love life.

 

Because a single thirty-something year old woman, with no husband and no children, couldn’t possibly be happy and have more going for herself, right? I’m going somewhere with this, so hold on.

 

About a month ago, I was asked if I’d ever been engaged. The timing of the question was interesting considering I was unexpectedly gifted with a “Future Mrs.” Alex and Ani bracelet the same weekend the question was asked. Shortly before being asked about an engagement, a well-meaning family member told me, “I hope God blesses you with children.” And I can never forget all the times I’ve been compared to my younger married sibling, who now has two children of his own. Years ago, those type of questions, comments, and the annoying comparisons to my younger sibling would have been triggering for me. Because once upon a time ago, I used to force myself not to get teary-eyed whenever anyone asked me why I was single, wasn’t married yet, or didn’t have children. But in recent years, things have shifted.

 

The tears don’t fall. The anxiety ceases to shake me up. The insecurities and pressures no longer weigh on me. And much of the fear I once had has subsided. Because I can honestly say that I’m thoroughly enjoying my husband-free and child-free life. In fact, I’m practically in heaven. Because I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I get to live the life I’m meant to, on my terms, and in my own way. I get to have a flexible schedule. I get to fully give myself to my work. I get to spend time with my loved ones as much as I’d like. And I get to come home and unwind in a peaceful space of my own, every day, without a man or a child placing demands and requests on my body, my money, or my time.

 

I’ve definitely had some moments and wondered what life must be like on the other side. However, many happy, and unfortunately, unhappy couples and parents, have been transparent with me and communicated that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. No matter how flashy or appealing the well-curated photos they post on social media indicate otherwise. That said, I’m approaching this upcoming chapter with peace, confidence, and ease. A chilled bottle of rosé will be lined up too. Especially since I fully intend to spoil myself rotten with as much self-love and self-care as I can. I’m going to lean into my birthday month and my special day with the kind of love I’m worthy and deserving of. Because, while I don’t fully know what my next chapter holds, I do know that I’m down for the ride. Here’s to an incredible one. Cheers. 

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