Making Waves

Working in education is a rewarding experience.  I get to teach my favorite content area (English), invest in the lives of young people, and work in a space where I feel free to be me. It’s also been great working with wonderful educators, some of whom I’ve developed trusted friendships with, who’ve approached the workplace with professionalism, positivity, and a great work ethic and attitude. But the same can’t be said of all educators. There have been some I’ve met and immediately knew to stay far away from. Negative energy, mean girl vibes, pettiness, messiness, and drama can easily be detected when you pay close attention. People are always communicating messages to us about who they truly are. In education, the students aren’t always the biggest challenge. Often, it’s the educators who behave like some of the students we teach. It’s disturbing witnessing educators, often grown women, forming alliances and friendships with other educators who shouldn’t be trusted. They create...

I can always appreciate a delicious brunch outing. And Milk & Honey is a brunch spot that surpassed my expectations. I’d originally heard about this location via TikTok, and when I spotted their chicken and waffles, I just knew I had to visit. When I walked into the restaurant, I immediately noticed the lovely ambiance – the music and art were everything. I was also greeted by the lovely hostess and smell of incredible food. I already knew I’d be moving forward with the chicken and waffles, but I had no idea how refreshing the lavender lemonade would be. It may be one of the best drinks I’ve ever had. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and seeking a nice brunch spot, check out Milk & Honey.

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

If someone had told me I’d be dabbling with creating and producing sports content, I probably would have laughed and dismissed the idea completely. I love sports and have always enjoyed viewing sports coverage and observing sideline reporters at sporting events since I was a little girl. However, I never saw myself in a similar role until the idea to start my own platform called “Simone Speaks Sports” emerged. I’d overseen my middle school’s Girls’ Sports Broadcasting Club for two years and supported my scholars as they interviewed different coaches and athletes during our fall sports season. Our school’s student activities coordinator had been asking me for years about getting a broadcasting platform in place. I didn’t think I’d have the time to commit to it, but the opportunity turned out to be a fun one. I’ve enjoyed working with my girls, mentoring them, and watching them step outside of their comfort zones while following sports and conducting interviews. One evening during one of...

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space.  I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Ability, opportunity, and intent are three words I’ll never forget after taking my first concealed carry course. Learning about firearm safety, how to properly purchase and use a firearm, and obtaining my concealed carry license were goals I set for myself and accomplished at the end of last year. Although I felt completely outside my comfort zone, I knew taking these steps were important to me. Mainly because of the current state of our world and society in general. During the course with Concealed Coalition, our instructor began by stating that the world seems more hostile than ever. He shared how you could be an innocent person minding your own business and suddenly find yourself in a situation where a firearm is present or needed. When he asked, “What made you take this course?” I responded, “For protection.” The course was filled with men and women there for the same reason and others. We all learned about specific laws in place surrounding firearms, the steps to purchase them, ho...

I don’t wait for special occasions to do nice things for myself. I consistently find ways to romanticize my life on a regular basis. Whether it’s a candlelit evening, creating a floral arrangement, savoring a great glass of wine, taking my time with my skincare routine, or enjoying a quiet dinner on my deck, I make sure to honor myself and prioritize my well-being. A romanticized lifestyle is attainable and a great self-care practice. The best part is that you can choose to romanticize your life in ways that work best for you. If you’re not sure where to start, think about things you enjoy doing that make you feel good, and go from there. Be very good to yourself. Make yourself a priority this year and have fun with it. Happy New Year and happy romanticizing!

This past summer, my eat-pray-love journey led to a variety of different food places in the Hampton Roads area, and a few stops were made at a cute bakery called Paris Baguette. My level of excitement stepping into this spot was all kinds of extra. When I went to grab a tray and tongs to prepare for which treats I wanted, I circled around the pastries about three times before making a final decision. There were a ton of options – croissants, tarts, macarons, cakes, and more. Which meant I would definitely need more than one visit. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a place to grab a sweet or savory treat, Paris Baguette is the place you need to be.

About a year ago, a thirty-something-year-old revealed to me that he didn’t want to marry his girlfriend. He explained how they traveled together, how much she turned him on, and that she was a single mother. He also described her as a non-ambitious woman. While he doesn’t have kids of his own and doesn’t want to start a family until he’s married, he made it clear that his girlfriend isn’t “the one.” When I asked him if he wanted to marry her, the room fell completely silent. Her child from a previous relationship is what makes him hesitant. He went on to share that he still doesn’t know what he wants and that he’s not into having a blended family. However, he’s dating a single mother who I imagine has no idea he feels this way. One of his married friends told him, “I know you’re sleeping with this girl and hanging out with her, but if you’re not going to marry her, you need to break up with her.” I even warned him that he may end up getting got if he’s not careful… but he doesn’t thin...

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

On a bright and beautiful day, I took a drive out to Hampton to meet a friend for breakfast at a spot I’ve never been to before called Mango Mangeaux. The vibrant colors, chill vibe, and friendly smiles that greeted me as I walked into this location felt special, and I couldn’t wait to explore the menu and great food options they had to offer. It also didn’t hurt having a kind, tall, and very fine waiter serving us too. A few drink options that immediately stood out to me were the Dorothy Dandridge and Harry Belafonte. I knew who these Black-iconic entertainers were but was surprised to see drinks named after them! I ordered the Dorothy Dandridge and noticed how it had similar ingredients to a traditional Shirley Temple. Our waiter explained that the drink originated in the Black community but was stolen and renamed. How interesting is that? I also ended up ordering the Sledge Skillet that came with delicious toast, crispy hash browns and bacon, scrambled eggs, delicious grits, and a s...

I’m convinced that many people don’t think before they speak. Especially when it comes to interacting with people who don’t have children. Normally, I’ve held my peace with this and felt the need to solely address women when it comes to this topic, but lately this is a message that men can benefit from too. Stop saying stupid stuff to people who don’t have children . I know this might be a difficult task for those of you who are nosey, have concerns that have nothing to do with you, or may be unhappy in your own life, but stop with the questions, jokes, and reckless comments. Even if you believe you’re being funny, making conversation, or coming from a genuine place, you’re honestly out of line. Because someone not having children and why is none of your business. I don’t have children, and I honestly don’t know if I will, but as a woman, I’m good with my life either way. I’ll always be grateful for what I have instead of lamenting about what I don’t. Which is probably why getting olde...

I love checking out new coffee spots. It’s nice to take in a space I haven’t been to before that’s so chill, it makes me want to go back and visit again and again. This is exactly how I felt when I stepped into Colattao Coffee House. The kind customer service, the amazing options, and the aesthetically pleasing décor were everything. The aroma of the freshly grounded coffee beans, along with the sight of their mouth-watering pastries didn’t hurt either. I’ve visited this spot just a few times, and always enjoyed myself, my drinks, and my food. It’s definitely worth the trip. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a cool and cozy spot for a solo outing or to meet up with a friend, I highly recommend checking out Colattao Coffee House sometime. You’ll enjoy it!

One morning, I was approached by two of my brightest work teenagers who wanted my help passing a letter on to a peer one of them had a crush on. These girls were friends filled with joy, anxiousness, and eagerness about this letter making it to the intended recipient. First, can we celebrate the fact that letter writing is still happening? I love that it’s not an extinct practice. As I took in the details shared with me, I thought it was an adorable move, and I couldn’t help but notice how much these girls reminded me of myself when I was navigating my first crushes at their age: excited, awkward, and nervous. Even when my attempts to reach out were almost always unrequited. My work teenager with the crush was on her second letter to a boy who hadn’t responded to the first one she wrote. She’s a bright, beautiful, and kind young woman with a heart of gold, and as much as I was rooting for her, I also felt bad for her. Because as amazing as she is, the guy she likes isn’t interested... ...

The first time I attended a formal event, I felt awkward and underdressed. I also didn’t know which fork I was supposed to eat with (since there was more than one in front of my plate setting). I was in my twenties and had been invited to attend a formal luncheon as an intern with Tidewater Women Magazine. At the time, I didn’t have my email on my phone (and didn’t check my email on my computer before heading out for the day), so when my intern boss told me we’d be attending a luncheon, I showed up in a multi-patterned maxi dress from JC Penney with a pair of ballet flats. This wasn’t a proud fashion moment for me. My boss and the other women at the event were in blazers, stunning business dresses, and nice blouses and heels. While I was embarrassed about not looking as put together as everyone else and barely touched my food (because of the fork incident mentioned above), I was still excited to be in a space with different women I hoped to be like someday. These women were smart, beau...

By the time this is shared, I'll already be 35. While celebrating another year, I've been doing a lot of ruminating on where I'm at as I keep moving forward. And so far, life is going good. This doesn't mean everything's been perfect or that I've dodged challenges, but for the most part, things are good. Outside of the world as we know it moving through a major time of transition and uncertainty, personally, I’m doing well. As past birthdays came and went, I’d typically write and reflect about different things society, family, friends, and haters have suggested “I should” have or be doing by a certain age. However, I thought it’d be cool to share 35 truths I’ve embraced while embracing my 35th year. Here we go. 1) If you like and love your life, it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. 2) Everyone’s not going to like you. You’ll live. 3) Some people are jealous of you based on a limited view they have of your life. No one truly “has...

French macarons are one of my favorite treats, so when I learned a cute French-inspired location was in the area, I couldn’t wait to check it out. The moment I stepped into Café Genevieve, a warmth and joy washed over me. I felt as if I’d stepped into an actual French café.  From the cute Eiffel towers, mini pastry-shaped pillows, framed art, and coffee table books, along with the kind and welcoming customer service, I was excited about embracing a new dining experience. It was hard to figure out what I wanted at first, but after gazing at all the options this café had to offer, I ordered a delicious latte and a pack of fresh, colorful, and delectable macarons to take home – which were some of the best ones I’ve ever had. This location is great for a friend date, a solo outing, or just to pop in and treat yourself. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a cool spot to visit, check out Café Genevieve and enjoy!

I believe that every woman should have a lingerie drawer. This special drawer should be filled with a variety of personal favorites that make you feel incredible about yourself when you look in the mirror. In my experience, lingerie is a great expression of self-care, especially when it comes to building confidence. I know that lingerie is often associated with how it can make one’s partner feel, but I don’t believe lingerie is just about the male gaze. I believe it’s more so about how it can make a woman feel who chooses to wear it.  As a Christian woman, I struggled (for years) with a lot of shame about my body, expressing my sexuality, and exploring it. I had a lot of unlearning to work through because of some of the controlling and shame-based teachings I was taught in different church communities. During my freshman year of college, I purchased my first thong, and when I came home on spring break, I felt like this was some dirty secret I needed to hide. When my mother did my l...

In the 2017 horror film Get Out , there’s an unforgettable scene when one of the film’s villainous characters, Rose, a young white woman, is seen eating Fruit Loops and drinking a bottle of milk through a straw as she searches the internet for “Top NCAA prospects.” This moment in the film is frightening because the purpose of Rose’s search is to ultimately lure young and unsuspecting Black men to a deadly fate after she begins dating them. If you’ve seen the film, you know how everything ultimately turns out, but if you haven’t, you’ll have a better understanding of the bigger picture.  Recently, college football superstar and future NFL prospect, Travis Hunter, became a source of media scrutiny and controversy regarding his relationship with his fiancée, Leanna Lenee. Much of the criticism was around his fiancée and comments she shared about how she wasn’t initially interested in Travis before they started dating. Additionally, she received backlash regarding the couple’s interact...

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...