The first time I attended a formal event, I felt awkward and underdressed. I also didn’t know which fork I was supposed to eat with (since there was more than one in front of my plate setting).
I was in my twenties and had been invited to attend a formal luncheon as an intern with Tidewater Women Magazine. At the time, I didn’t have my email on my phone (and didn’t check my email on my computer before heading out for the day), so when my intern boss told me we’d be attending a luncheon, I showed up in a multi-patterned maxi dress from JC Penney with a pair of ballet flats. This wasn’t a proud fashion moment for me.
My boss and the other women at the event were in blazers, stunning business dresses, and nice blouses and heels. While I was embarrassed about not looking as put together as everyone else and barely touched my food (because of the fork incident mentioned above), I was still excited to be in a space with different women I hoped to be like someday. These women were smart, beautiful, educated, and accomplished, and I was sitting at a table with different ones who even owned their own businesses. It was a cool time and season in my life I’ll never forget.
This school year, our principal tasked each teacher with developing school day clubs to offer during our academic support bells, and after reflecting on my intern days, I thought it would be a great idea to offer an etiquette club to better prepare our middle school learners who could eventually find themselves in different spaces they might need help with navigating too. When I thought about doing this years ago, a few staff members I worked with thought it wasn’t a good idea. I heard things like, “These kids won’t appreciate that,” and “They’re too ghetto.” But I disagreed.
How can we expect young people (especially minorities) to rise to levels we don’t expose them to?
Respectfully, I never let go of what I believed could be a great teaching opportunity. I could teach teens who were interested in etiquette about proper greetings, table settings, table manners, how to dress properly for different events, and more! Based on what I’ve learned and experienced from attending luncheons and networking events, I had things to share that could be helpful.
When our school club day arrived, only two students showed up for my club.
I thought there may be more, however, my two attendees participated in our table setting demonstration and seemed to get a lot out of it. One girl who attended told me she was looking forward to applying what she learned the next time she went out to dinner. And that was all I needed. Proper etiquette may not seem like a priority to some, but it’s still beneficial for young people who need to know how to conduct themselves in the settings they’ll be in. Especially if these skills aren’t something they’ve been exposed to. This next generation needs good role models who are willing to be tour guides in these spaces. And I’m happy to help lead the way.