Making Waves

As we approach the end of another year, I’ve taken some time to reflect on what this year has been like, areas I want to grow in and improve upon, and different things I both want and need to change while preparing for the year to come. And one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned while reflecting on this year is that you can’t help people who don’t listen.  Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself as the “go to” person for advice, wisdom, and guidance regarding different decisions in the lives of different family members, friends, significant others, colleagues, and sometimes even acquaintances. While it’s been flattering to be a source of help, it’s equally been frustrating when I’m asked for advice (that’s typically not followed… until things go up in smoke) after those who approached me for advice in the first place, have already made a decision that completely goes against the wisdom that was shared with them to avoid a messy, chaotic, and sometimes heartbreaking, outcome. ...

Recently, after attending two back-to-back weekends of baby showers, I was asked questions about having a child of my own and was also within earshot of different conversations happening at the showers I attended. The first shower was not unlike any other baby shower I’d been to before – there were pretty decorations, a well-prepared food spread of small bites and baked treats, a mountain of gifts, and a normal number of guests consisting of family and friends of the new parents to be, one of whom was my cousin. Oh, and there were games too. I’ve found that the go-to game for most showers has been trying to guess the size of the new mom’s baby bump (typically by measuring with ribbon or toilet paper). As the first shower continued, I ended up at a table with my grandmother and great-aunt. They’d asked me about how my career was going and then I was asked, “Do you think you’d ever take a break from your career to have a child?” I paused before responding and replied, “You know, I enjoy ...

Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve met within the past two years. About  six  to be exact. ·        The first guy pursued me and then got shady whenever I asked him about what he did for a living and where he lived. When he started dodging and avoiding questions, wouldn’t initiate dates, and slowly stopped keeping in touch with me altogether, eventually, all communication ceased. ·        The second guy was someone I met through a family member. He was super cool, very smart, handsome, and funny, but didn’t want to be in a relationship and acted like he didn’t want to be seen with me publicly. When we had plans to meet for an outing, he didn’t show up, and then texted me about a week later with an apology. We chilled at my place a few times, had a few phone conversations, and e...

When you hear the words, “it girl” many names may come to mind.   They’re the kind of girls and women who have a fascinating way of not only setting new trends, inspiring others, and being cultural game changers, but they strategically pave the way for future generations of girls and women to do the same. And when I hear the words, “it girl,” Ayesha Curry is a name that comes to mind. Because I believe she’s the kind of it girl this world needs more of. I admire Ayesha Curry.   Ayesha is the kind of it girl who’s not just the wife of a popular NBA player (Stephen Curry), but instead, has made a name for herself and taken up space in cool, creative, and impactful ways. She’s more than a wife, a mother, a woman of faith, and a drop-dead gorgeous fashionista making all kinds of power moves. She’s redefined what it means to be something more than a professional athlete’s wife by using her platforms as an it girl to help change the world in some extraordinary ways.  ...

Before the beginning of this summer, I received some heavy news.   News that felt like someone knocked the wind out of me, and at the same time, snatched my heart out of my chest. News that had me on the phone with two of my closest confidants barely being able to talk because of what I was processing. News that made me really sit, strategize, reevaluate, and reprioritize different things in my life. News that had me reaching out to my prayer warrior friends to intercede on my behalf. And news that had me petitioning heartfelt prayers to God with the words, “If I can do this, God, let’s move forward. If not, I need you to help me get through this. Not my will but yours. You’re still so good, even when I get what I want and when I don’t.”   Then I stepped away and waited. Then He answered. And then with His approval and a whole lot of faith (with works), I’ve been handling my business. And though there have been times when I’ve been tired, discouraged, and uncertain of what the...

I've been a Christian since  I was seven years old. And for as long as I can remember, I was raised in church and taught everything I needed to know about what it meant to be a good girl and a true believer. Good girls were believers who were in church every Sunday, attended weekly bible studies, volunteered for extracurricular church activities and events, and didn’t listen to secular music, drink alcohol, or do drugs. We were also advised not to date (and typically weren’t allowed to date at all) but interestingly enough were taught to prepare for marriage by first pledging allegiance to purity and abstaining from sex until marriage (along with wearing those True Love Waits purity rings), which looking back, probably wasn’t a good idea since some of those teachings shamed many young women back then who weren’t abstaining, were sexually assaulted, or eventually decided not to abstain from sex at all.   Even more interesting was noticing that the young men I attended church wi...

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6  As this current school year is winding down and the pace of things have eased, I’ve had some much-needed quiet time to be still and reflect on my third year as an English educator. And if I could describe this recent school year in one word, that word would be challenging . I’ve often heard that the first year of teaching is the most stressful, and to my surprise, that wasn’t the case for me at all – even when I happened to be juggling grad school and teaching full time my first year. I also have the distinction of working in a Title 1 middle school which primarily consists of working with a demographic of students who are often struggling learners and come from low-income households.  Before accepting the position to teach, I was warned of the challenges that can come with working in a Title 1 middle school with students who don’t have stable (or always safe...