Making Waves

This Friday, I'll be turning 33.   As I approach this joyful and celebratory occasion, I’ve intentionally taken time to be still and reflect on where I’m at, the different things I’m doing, and the direction my life is heading as I move through my thirties. And in this present moment, truthfully, I am  content . I’m spiritually grounded, in good physical health, and have a great support system of family and close friends, along with purposeful career opportunities I enjoy, financial stability, a home of my own, and a fur baby who loves me.    Life is pretty good.   However, different spectators who have limited views on my life seem to think otherwise…   Specifically, regarding my love life.   Because a single thirty-something year old woman, with no husband and no children, couldn’t possibly be happy and have more going for herself, right? I’m going somewhere with this, so hold on.   About a month ago, I was asked if I’d ever been engaged. The ti...

As an English teacher, a core belief I’ve held close since the beginning of my career has been the importance of relationship building. I believe that if great relationships between teachers, students, and parents are established at the beginning of the school year, everything else will fall into place. Authentically modeling, practicing, and establishing mutually respectful and professional relationships within my classroom has been the bridge for effective communication, solid classroom management, and creating a safe and effective learning environment that fits each of my student’s needs.  And though I’ve seen and experienced the benefits of great relationship building, unfortunately, there have been times when some students and parents have not been receptive or interested in my efforts to establish connections that would best serve all parties involved. I’ve also noticed and shared spaces with other educators, school counselors, and administrators who’ve experienced the same....

Full disclosure: I don't have a ton of Black girlfriends. Most of my close girlfriends are white. For a long time, this observation was a source of shame and embarrassment to me. Because, as a Black woman, naturally, I should have a close circle of ride-or-die Black girlfriends, right?  Or perhaps not.  This was not something I mapped out or planned for myself. However, after many failed attempts with trying to initiate and facilitate friendships with other Black women (and hopelessly and embarrassingly) failing and being shunned in the process, I’ve accepted my status as the often-sole Black friend within my friend groups. I love my friends and they love me exactly as I am. We respect one another, listen to each other, and show up for each other too. And though some outsiders may view me as “that one Black girl” within my circle of friends, I’ve accepted that there are some Black women who are disinterested in connecting with other Black women because of their own insecuritie...

I dislike almost everything about what’s now considered “modern dating.”  Dating apps.  DM sliding.  Exchanging thirst traps.  Hookup culture.  The talking stage.  Lingering indecisiveness in the “what are we doing and where are things going?” conversations.  And the mindset that anyone and everyone is technically “fair game” if they’re not married (even if they’re “technically” already spoken for…)  I’ve moved through some of the things listed above and have found the modern dating world draining. And while I’ve approached dating the “Christian way,” cried out to God, tried being more open, and out of frustration, jokingly considered having a ho phase for fun ( no worries – I’m way too much of a God-fearing church girl to follow through with that life, but I also don’t judge those who do partake ), one evening as I was nursing some hurt feelings after a guy I’d spent some time with suddenly bailed, I remembered some sound relationship advice my d...

Whenever I find myself moving through a challenging season, I prefer to be left alone. I often buckle down, throw myself completely into my work, pray (a lot), check in with my family and friends (so they know I’m alive), and then I proceed to keep grinding. And when I have quiet moments to myself, I sit, think, and reflect on where I’m at and try to process and understand everything that’s been happening in my life.  Last month, I served as a bridesmaid at a close friend’s wedding. It was a special and busy time leading up to my friend’s big day, and one that was filled with a lot of planning, laughter, memorable moments, manageable stress, beautiful people, and plenty of happy tears. It was a privilege to support and stand alongside my dear friend as she made her way down the wedding aisle to say, “I do.” And while the energy from the day was exciting, I found myself privately carrying another wave of emotions that would later proceed to disrupt things in a way I hadn’t fully ant...

About a month ago, I felt compelled to deactivate my social media accounts.  I’d been thinking about doing so for a while, and when I found myself scrolling and filtering through so much of the noise, oversharing, and photo dumps that the world of social media can bring, I knew it was time to move forward with my exit. I began growing tired and disinterested in seeing and snapping pics every time I was out with my loved ones or enjoying the company of a friend. And I also felt inspired and encouraged to make my decision after reconnecting with a cousin I hadn’t seen since in  years  who told me that he wasn’t on  any  social media platforms at all. When he explained why, I was impressed. He told me that…    He doesn’t have the time.  He doesn’t want everyone in his business and knowing his every move.  And he doesn’t care about taking cute pics.    Imagine that?    Prior to my social media deactivations, my cousin asked me...

I happen to be a bit of a brunch enthusiast. Because, to me, brunch is a   whole   mood. Even if you aren’t a “breakfast food” person, I believe there’s a little something for everyone at a spot I love called The Butcher’s Son. It’s a restaurant in Hampton Roads that was recommended to me by a friend, and when I went, I wasn’t disappointed. The vibe, customer service, delicious coffee, and mouth-watering chicken and waffles were everything, and my visit was one that also had me stuffed upon my exit. So if you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a nice spot to grab a bite, check out The Butcher’s Son and enjoy!