Skip to main content

The Best Relationship Advice I’ve Ever Received

I dislike almost everything about what’s now considered “modern dating.” 

Dating apps. 
DM sliding. 
Exchanging thirst traps. 
Hookup culture. 
The talking stage. 
Lingering indecisiveness in the “what are we doing and where are things going?” conversations. 
And the mindset that anyone and everyone is technically “fair game” if they’re not married (even if they’re “technically” already spoken for…) 

I’ve moved through some of the things listed above and have found the modern dating world draining. And while I’ve approached dating the “Christian way,” cried out to God, tried being more open, and out of frustration, jokingly considered having a ho phase for fun (no worries – I’m way too much of a God-fearing church girl to follow through with that life, but I also don’t judge those who do partake), one evening as I was nursing some hurt feelings after a guy I’d spent some time with suddenly bailed, I remembered some sound relationship advice my dad gave me when I was 18-years-old. And what he said and shared with me is something I’ve considered to be the best relationship advice I’ve ever received: 

“Let the Lord lead you, my love.” 

When he first shared those words with me, I was a teenager who was head over heels for one of my good guy friends at the time. I’d been too scared to tell my friend I had feelings for him, and when my dad learned how I felt, he gave me the advice above. So, because I was a teenager whose emotions led many of my decisions during that time, I thought, “What the heck? It’s my senior year of high school. It’s either now or never.” The Lord wanted me to be happy, right? Oh, the things we tell ourselves to justify our choices… 

So I approached my friend, told him that I liked him, and asked him out to our school’s upcoming basketball game. 

And in return, he acknowledged that he knew how I felt but didn’t share the same feelings I had. My fragile and emotional teenage heart was embarrassed and crushed. It took some time, but eventually, I got over that situation, and in hindsight, later wished I would have truly listened and taken my dad’s advice. Because as much as I liked my friend, I didn’t let the Lord lead me with how I approached that situation. But then again, I was 18. 

Now, at 32, my dad’s advice is something I’ve been reflecting on more while moving through my singleness and navigating modern dating. And though I’ve made some mistakes and things haven’t always turned out as I’ve hoped, I’ve been more intentional than ever about allowing the Lord to lead me in my dating decisions as a Christian woman. 

 The world says… 
• If you don’t sleep with the guy you’re with, you’ll lose him. 
• Here are ten ways to please the man you’re with so he’ll never leave. 
• Go ahead, do whatever, and live your life. You’re still young. 
• Sometimes you’ve got to compromise a little to get and keep that guy, or another woman will. 
• YOLO (You only live once). 

 The Lord says… 
• Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do. – Proverbs 4:23 

• Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 

• Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is – Romans 12:2 

Dating as a Christian has not been an easy experience, and I know that doing things the Lord’s way isn’t popular. Especially when it comes to modern dating. But as a believer, I know His ways are what’s best. I’m not entirely sure what the future holds for me relationship-wise, but no matter how things turn out, I intend to take my dad’s advice and let the Lord take the lead.
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

A Year Of Being Ghosted

Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve met within the past two years. About  six  to be exact. ·        The first guy pursued me and then got shady whenever I asked him about what he did for a living and where he lived. When he started dodging and avoiding questions, wouldn’t initiate dates, and slowly stopped keeping in touch with me altogether, eventually, all communication ceased. ·        The second guy was someone I met through a family member. He was super cool, very smart, handsome, and funny, but didn’t want to be in a relationship and acted like he didn’t want to be seen with me publicly. When we had plans to meet for an outing, he didn’t show up, and then texted me about a week later with an apology. We chilled at my place a few times, had a few phone conversations, and exchanged occasional texts, but eventually he stopped responding to me
Read more

Teacher Table Talk: When Parents Attack

As an English teacher, a core belief I’ve held close since the beginning of my career has been the importance of relationship building. I believe that if great relationships between teachers, students, and parents are established at the beginning of the school year, everything else will fall into place. Authentically modeling, practicing, and establishing mutually respectful and professional relationships within my classroom has been the bridge for effective communication, solid classroom management, and creating a safe and effective learning environment that fits each of my student’s needs.  And though I’ve seen and experienced the benefits of great relationship building, unfortunately, there have been times when some students and parents have not been receptive or interested in my efforts to establish connections that would best serve all parties involved. I’ve also noticed and shared spaces with other educators, school counselors, and administrators who’ve experienced the same. And
Read more

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace.       As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken things too far
Read more