Making Waves

I’m a huge fan of Oprah and her hit OWN series  Master Class . Each season on Oprah’s Master Class , they're usually a handful of individuals who do a sit down, using their own life experiences as a class to glean from, and share with others. Each person shares how their journeys have helped guide and shape them into the person they’ve become. I love it. And whenever I watch it, I take notes and wonder, what will I wear when Oprah calls and wants to interview me for Master Class? I know I’m reaching, but anything is possible. That said, I’ve compiled a list of the different points I’ll reflect on when it’s my turn (see how I’m manifesting this before it even happens?) It’s okay to be different. Say something. Have boundaries. Keep going. Be kind. Setbacks don’t define you. Use your voice. Keep learning.        This list will make more sense as I elaborate each point in depth, but for now, let this list marinate until you see me on TV somed...

I used to be an ugly duckling. I found an old 8 th grade photo of myself and said, “Man, I was such a freaking loser.” My mother got real upset about this. She said, “Your dad and I always thought you were beautiful.” And my father replied, “You were never a loser, pal.” I thought they had to say those things because they’re my parents. But truthfully, from elementary school through my junior year of high school, I never thought I was an attractive young woman. I felt utterly invisible and unpretty growing up. For a long time I thought I was ugly. When I saw how my friends would get approached and asked out on dates, while I remained dateless and ignored, not to mention the insecurities I struggled with, having been one of the very few black girls in predominantly white neighborhoods and schools (and even through college) I thought, maybe that guy was right. I’m ugly. That guy was an old crush I’d had in middle school. When he found out I liked him, he laughed and said, she’s ug...

One of my former friends used to sell sex toys as a side hustle. She’d been inviting me to attend different pleasure parties she’d been hosting, and I continually declined. The idea of being in a room with other women discussing sex and sex toys made me feel uncomfortable . After dodging her endless requests for me to attend, I finally explained to her, I just don’t feel comfortable going to something like that. To be honest, I felt ashamed, like I was doing something wrong. My friend listened to me and explained that other women were declining as well because they were embarrassed about attending. She assured me that it'd just be a good time and a fun ladies night. I put my reservations aside and went, and to my surprise, it wasn’t nearly as awkward as I imagined it’d be. There were other young women there, and while we were all visibly nervous at first, each of us ended up sharing glasses of wine, laughs, funny stories about bad dates we’d been on, and being open to discuss...

I love the fall. It’s one of my favorite seasons and I look forward to this time of year for a number of reasons. Mostly because of… Cool, crisp weather Cozy, comfy blankets An excuse to unpack my fall wardrobe (sweaters, scarves, boots) Pumpkin spice lattes, baked treats, and just baking period Football season Preparing for the holidays The beautiful scenery (trees, leaves, pumpkins) Snuggling Comfort food And so much more… This time of year just feels so special, and I’m exciting for all the great things to come. What do you love about fall? 

I can’t remember the exact age I was when I met my first love. I just remember being really young. We found each other in a way I don’t think either of us anticipated. When we met, our encounter would change the rest of my life. My first love was a combination of two things: reading and writing. The first time I realized I loved the two, was when I read a book by Dr. Seuss titled, Hop on Pop . I remember asking my mom what every word said. Once I grasped the concept of reading, my next mission was to learn how to create what I’d fallen in love with. To this day, my love of books, reading, and writing, still gives me the same joy and love I first experienced as a little girl. If I have something great to read, paper, and/or a writing utensil, I’m good. I still utilize technology like computers for writing and my Nook (an e-reader) but I still love, enjoy, and appreciate the touch, smell, and feel of a good, old-fashioned book right off the shelf, and using paper, pencils, and pe...

The transition from college to the real world is no joke. I’m not a fan of process or transition, but both are common themes in life. When I was edging towards the end of my senior year of undergrad I was going through a wave of emotions. I had a lot on my mind: graduation, trying to land a great career opportunity, maintaining some relationships that were built, and trying to figure out, what’s next? Looking back I was sacred as hell and doing a crappy job of hiding it. I did reckless things like vent on social media and isolate myself away from people, when I probably should have stayed off of social media and spent more time with others, instead of being alone.  And more importantly, I should’ve been spending even more time with God. During this time, I was once asked if I was freaking out about finishing school. I had confidently said, “No.” But who was I kidding? I was definitely unsettled out about what was ahead. I’d been going on job interviews and taking meetings since Ja...

In October 2014 I made the decision to go natural. This wasn’t an easy choice but it had to be done. I’d been getting relaxers in my hair since I was seven, and the damage finally caught up to me when my hair started breaking off. For years, I had friends trying to get me to go natural but the thought of not having my hair relaxed and straightened was non-negotiable. I also thought I’d have to do the BC (big chop), which is a process where one has all of their damaged hair cut off all the way down to its most natural state. And I definitely wasn’t comfortable doing that. I did finally quit the relaxers but tried to be slick by still getting my hair pressed straight, acting as if heat damage wasn’t that big of a deal. Prior to my hair falling out and being damaged, I’d spend hours and lots of money every month going to the beauty shop. I was getting to the point where I was tired of spending so much money, not to mention sitting through lengthy and mostly late appointments, when I ...