Natural Hair Diaries

In October 2014 I made the decision to go natural. This wasn’t an easy choice but it had to be done. I’d been getting relaxers in my hair since I was seven, and the damage finally caught up to me when my hair started breaking off. For years, I had friends trying to get me to go natural but the thought of not having my hair relaxed and straightened was non-negotiable. I also thought I’d have to do the BC (big chop), which is a process where one has all of their damaged hair cut off all the way down to its most natural state. And I definitely wasn’t comfortable doing that.

I did finally quit the relaxers but tried to be slick by still getting my hair pressed straight, acting as if heat damage wasn’t that big of a deal. Prior to my hair falling out and being damaged, I’d spend hours and lots of money every month going to the beauty shop. I was getting to the point where I was tired of spending so much money, not to mention sitting through lengthy and mostly late appointments, when I decided, enough was enough. The final straw was when I literally waited over an hour for my stylist at the time to do my hair, after I’d already scheduled an appointment the week prior to seeing her. When I explained my desire to go natural, she didn’t seem thrilled. I also told her that my hair was falling out. I found out later that when most women go natural, they usually stop going to the salon. I suppose she was upset because she probably knew I’d eventually stop coming, but my health and hair were at risk.

Once I stopped going I did save money, but I wasn’t ready for the world of testing different natural hair products, trying new hairstyles I could maintain, and figuring out what to do. I’ve always had help or a professional stylist do my hair, so, things got complicated. After a ton of mishaps, twists, turns, and a trip to a new stylist in the fall of 2016 who cut off a lot of my hair (more that I was mentally prepared for) I stopped using heat all together and have been working towards being patient until the beautiful curl pattern I was naturally born with, reemerges. I’ve even experimented with braids, which is something I never thought I’d do again (I had them before as a kid) and I love having them now. They’ve changed my look and have made things easier as I’ve gone through transitioning. Natural hair is beautiful. It does take a lot of upkeep, but it’s better than damaging it with chemicals that ruin it. When I see old photos of myself with my straightened hair, I don’t look too happy. My hair was always straightened and in my face, so now that it’s natural, it’s often pulled back and I feel more beautiful than ever. Going natural was worth it.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace. As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken t...

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