Making Waves

I met a guy who asked me about my hair. He asked about my ethnicity too. Before we talked, he was going through some of my photos and thought I was biracial because of my Brazilian body wave hair. (Hair that I paid for and had professionally put into my own.)  I told him the truth. “I’m black, like,  fully  black. And that’s not all my hair. I’m glad we talked about this early.” And he didn’t freak out or ask a ton of odd questions or express disinterest. Which was a relief, since he was black too. There are a lot of black men who either don’t like or make jokes about black women who experiment with extensions, weaves, wigs, or more, so his question opened the door for us both to have an open dialogue about my hair.  When hair salons were ordered to close due to COVID-19?  My social media feed lit up, and a lot of people were flipping out.  Especially a lot of black women. I was able to see my stylist and have my sew-in taken out ...

When I was finishing college, all hell broke loose. I had former friends, some family members, and some co-workers, who started hating, throwing shade, and doing almost anything they could to throw me off and discourage me from finishing school. It was one of the hardest seasons I’ve ever been through. I juggled three part-time jobs, had a few employers cut my hours when they found out I was in school, which impacted the money I was using to pay for school and other responsibilities I was taking care of. There was a difference in the way I was being treated. As long as I wasn’t doing anything to better myself, people were cool with me earning nothing more than minimum wage and being the go-to friend/family member/employee that was available for what they wanted or needed, which was selfish. I was also doing my best to tune out the noise of family members and friends who were encouraging me to quit school and questioning if I’d be able to get a job with an English degree. Looking...

I always imagined that I’d meet a guy to my liking organically. Not through an app. While I haven’t downloaded any dating apps and have often warned other women about being careful about the kind of guys they interact with online and in-person, as it turns out, I’ve had movement through my social media app meeting different guys. So technically, I have done some online dating. I’ve responded to some direct messages I’ve received and left others on read , however last year around this time, I got up with a guy who seemed cool. We had a ton of mutual friends in common and when he gave me his number, we talked for a bit and decided to meet up. We had a nice time and talked for a little while after we met, and then we eventually parted ways. I’ve been out with other guys I’ve known before social media became a thing too, some who reached out to me through the app, and while it’s not online dating in the sense of using a dating app, it’s still very similar.  And it’s more com...

I grew up in the ‘90s.  I can remember playing outdoors a lot, writing letters, reading  Goosebumps ,  The Baby-Sitters   Club , and  Sweet Valley High  books, book fairs, using encyclopedias to do research for school projects, renting movies from Blockbuster, dial-up internet, floppy disks, and more.  This weekend I watched my 5 th  grade graduation ceremony. I had a VHS copy of it that I was able to have converted to DVD. Seeing my younger self and my peers, some of whom I’m connected to on social media or have crossed paths with since we’ve been adults, brought back a lot of memories and a handful of emotions. Back then, I was a safety patrol. I also performed in our school’s P.E. show and danced to Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.” True story. I don’t know where that recording is, but if I become famous, hopefully, it doesn’t surface 😄. I was also in orchestra, obsessed with  Buffy the Vampire Slayer  and...

It’s interesting how an unexpected pandemic can bring things into perspective. Even weirder, is hearing from people you barely know, don’t talk to anymore, or haven’t talked to in a long time during this bizarre and uncertain season we’re all in. Some are using this time to reconnect with familiar faces, reach out to their exes, and maybe some former flings. Others are partaking in some solo time, digital dating, or occasional flirting. And a handful are nesting with whoever they’ve been in a relationship with this whole time.  There are also some guys out there who need to be left on  read . For those of you who are not familiar with this, it’s essentially a form of ignoring someone. It’s a little savage, but very necessary sometimes.  Here’s the thing. If we didn’t work well together the first time (in some cases a second time… maybe even a third 😑) and decided to part ways, why would a pandemic prompt you to suddenly want to reach out? Especially ...