I met a guy who asked me about my hair.
He asked about my ethnicity too. Before we talked, he was going through some of my photos and thought I was biracial because of my Brazilian body wave hair. (Hair that I paid for and had professionally put into my own.)
I told him the truth.
“I’m black, like, fully black. And that’s not all my hair. I’m glad we talked about this early.” And he didn’t freak out or ask a ton of odd questions or express disinterest. Which was a relief, since he was black too. There are a lot of black men who either don’t like or make jokes about black women who experiment with extensions, weaves, wigs, or more, so his question opened the door for us both to have an open dialogue about my hair.
When hair salons were ordered to close due to COVID-19?
My social media feed lit up, and a lot of people were flipping out.
Especially a lot of black women. I was able to see my stylist and have my sew-in taken out about two days before the closings started. I was relieved because 1) I don’t know how to properly remove a sew-in and 2) I was able to allow my natural hair to breathe and take a break from my protective style. I’ve been natural for almost six years now. I had to quit getting relaxers when my hair started falling out from the chemicals and over processing. I also learned there were studies linking hair relaxers to different kinds of cancers, heart disease, and reproductive issues. So going natural was needed. My natural hair journey has been a roller coaster ride, and I honestly don’t know how I would have come this far without seeing professional stylists who specialize in natural hair and protective styles. Now the salons are closed. And a lot of women of color, especially those with natural hair, are collectively dealing with the same situation.
Our natural hair.
Managing it can feel like a full-time job if you’re used to seeing a stylist regularly.
Some of us also have our men looking at us too. Some who may not be used to seeing us without our extensions, weaves, wigs, and other protective styles. And that can get uncomfortable. But you know what? This is a good thing. Because for the first time in a long time, you can show your man your real hair. Natural and all. Whether it’s curly, coiled, wavy, or wild, it’s yours. And I believe you should show your man your real hair and own it. When I meet a new guy, whether he’s black or of another race, I let him see what I look like when I wear my natural hair with protective styles, and when I don’t. I want him to know what I really look like, so he knows the truth. I even have pictures on my social media of my natural hair when I’m wearing extensions, when I’m not, when my hair is straight, twisted out, braided up, put up in a puff, and more.
The salons will open again, and you should totally support your local stylists when they do, but for now, safety is key. Your crown is a privilege. Wear it with pride. Show your man and everyone else your real hair and work it. You got this.