When I was finishing college, all hell broke loose.
I had former friends, some family members, and some co-workers, who started hating, throwing shade, and doing almost anything they could to throw me off and discourage me from finishing school. It was one of the hardest seasons I’ve ever been through. I juggled three part-time jobs, had a few employers cut my hours when they found out I was in school, which impacted the money I was using to pay for school and other responsibilities I was taking care of. There was a difference in the way I was being treated. As long as I wasn’t doing anything to better myself, people were cool with me earning nothing more than minimum wage and being the go-to friend/family member/employee that was available for what they wanted or needed, which was selfish. I was also doing my best to tune out the noise of family members and friends who were encouraging me to quit school and questioning if I’d be able to get a job with an English degree. Looking back, I believe jealously was the root of a lot of what went down. As things got better for me, things also got harder. At first, I thought I was trippin’… until I wasn’t. What was shocking was learning that people I thought would be happy for me, family members and former friends now, were calling me selfish (when my availability lessened because I was focusing on school and looking for new career opportunities), trashing me behind my back, and would get quiet and cold whenever I got excited as I got closer to completion. Life tip: when you share good news about your goals and dreams and different people you’re talking to get quiet? Be selective about what you share with them. I mean it. They might act funny when you pull back, but everyone won’t be happy to see you doing well or moving forward. I cried a lot, struggled, and sacrificed to get through that time and still finished school. I walked across the stage at graduation, got my degree, and got a job two months after I graduated. Praise the Lord. Won’t He do it? Yes He will! 😁
But the jealous behavior didn’t stop there.
Can you believe the same things started happening again when I started making a better income, bought my first new car, bought tickets to my first NBA game for myself and my parents, started going out on dates, landing publishing opportunities, and when I took active steps towards becoming a homeowner? Not only did those things prompt jealousy but ultimately made me reevaluate the kind of people I allowed in my space and my life. Even people I kept around because of shared history and familiarity. Sometimes I felt guilty. Like maybe I owed different people explanations or some of the things I worked hard for, but I didn’t. And I still don’t. I’m able to have what I have and do what I do because of how hard I work. No one should ever expect to get or feel entitled to anything you worked for. It’s mainly your choice about how you decide to share and give, but always know, the more you accomplish and the more blessed you become, the more you’ll have to check in with yourself and remain mindful of the people in your circle and of anyone else who’s trying to get close to you.
Other people I know have been through this and like myself, at times, they’ve been afraid and discouraged and felt guilty about enjoying themselves because of it. Jealousy is cruel. And it can really show you people’s true colors. I’ve lost a handful of friends because of it and to this day, I have little to no contact with certain family members because of it too. You can be someone who legit likes seeing other people do well, and still have people get jealous of you. I bet there are probably some people in your life, people you would never think, who are jealous of you right now. They might be jealous of your relationships and influence, personality and looks, education, opportunities and income, your success and work ethic, your creativity, skills, and more. And if that’s the case, I hope you’ll be encouraged and still live your life and go after your goals and dreams no matter what. Do your best to not allow what others think, say, or do to get inside your head. And to all the haters out there?
Don't be jelly. It's not a good look for anyone.