Making Waves

One evening as I was staring at my reflection in my bathroom mirror, I paused. I took a real good look at myself, did a little spin, and as I stared on, God said this to me: “Just because you’re not in a relationship doesn’t mean you aren’t experiencing love.”  The moment I heard those words, I started crying. I suddenly felt refreshed when I thought about all the love I have in my life with God, myself, my close family members, and my friends, and my heart was filled with joy. Though the love I’m experiencing isn’t “romantic,” it’s exactly what I need it to be and it’s enough. Especially as I celebrate my single girl era.   I’m enjoying being single, ya’ll. For real.    It’s taken a minute to arrive at this level of contentment, but I’m grateful for my singleness and I find myself unapologetically celebrating it as much as I can. I’ve even turned down some date invites because of how good I am on this end. And I’ve got to say that this may be one of my best (and fav...

It was a routine afternoon following lunch.   I was walking down the hall with my students after picking them up from the cafeteria when a young Black female student turned around, stared me down aggressively, and continued staring directly at me as I approached my classroom door.   “Is there a problem?” I asked.   “There can be one.” She nastily replied.   One student who was nearby told her, “You know that’s a teacher, right?”   “I know,” replied the student who stared me down. There was no care or remorse in her eyes, body language, or tone.    “Watch yourself,” I replied as she walked away and went to her class.   The exchange was incredibly disrespectful, and because of how the student responded, I spoke with a seasoned teacher about whether I should report the incident. He shared that situations like the one that occurred could escalate, so I decided to report it. I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, as the safety of teachers working in ...

As we approach the end of another year, I’ve taken some time to reflect on what this year has been like, areas I want to grow in and improve upon, and different things I both want and need to change while preparing for the year to come. And one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned while reflecting on this year is that you can’t help people who don’t listen.  Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself as the “go to” person for advice, wisdom, and guidance regarding different decisions in the lives of different family members, friends, significant others, colleagues, and sometimes even acquaintances. While it’s been flattering to be a source of help, it’s equally been frustrating when I’m asked for advice (that’s typically not followed… until things go up in smoke) after those who approached me for advice in the first place, have already made a decision that completely goes against the wisdom that was shared with them to avoid a messy, chaotic, and sometimes heartbreaking, outcome. ...

Recently, after attending two back-to-back weekends of baby showers, I was asked questions about having a child of my own and was also within earshot of different conversations happening at the showers I attended. The first shower was not unlike any other baby shower I’d been to before – there were pretty decorations, a well-prepared food spread of small bites and baked treats, a mountain of gifts, and a normal number of guests consisting of family and friends of the new parents to be, one of whom was my cousin. Oh, and there were games too. I’ve found that the go-to game for most showers has been trying to guess the size of the new mom’s baby bump (typically by measuring with ribbon or toilet paper). As the first shower continued, I ended up at a table with my grandmother and great-aunt. They’d asked me about how my career was going and then I was asked, “Do you think you’d ever take a break from your career to have a child?” I paused before responding and replied, “You know, I enjoy ...

Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve met within the past two years. About  six  to be exact. ·        The first guy pursued me and then got shady whenever I asked him about what he did for a living and where he lived. When he started dodging and avoiding questions, wouldn’t initiate dates, and slowly stopped keeping in touch with me altogether, eventually, all communication ceased. ·        The second guy was someone I met through a family member. He was super cool, very smart, handsome, and funny, but didn’t want to be in a relationship and acted like he didn’t want to be seen with me publicly. When we had plans to meet for an outing, he didn’t show up, and then texted me about a week later with an apology. We chilled at my place a few times, had a few phone conversations, and e...

When you hear the words, “it girl” many names may come to mind.   They’re the kind of girls and women who have a fascinating way of not only setting new trends, inspiring others, and being cultural game changers, but they strategically pave the way for future generations of girls and women to do the same. And when I hear the words, “it girl,” Ayesha Curry is a name that comes to mind. Because I believe she’s the kind of it girl this world needs more of. I admire Ayesha Curry.   Ayesha is the kind of it girl who’s not just the wife of a popular NBA player (Stephen Curry), but instead, has made a name for herself and taken up space in cool, creative, and impactful ways. She’s more than a wife, a mother, a woman of faith, and a drop-dead gorgeous fashionista making all kinds of power moves. She’s redefined what it means to be something more than a professional athlete’s wife by using her platforms as an it girl to help change the world in some extraordinary ways.  ...

Before the beginning of this summer, I received some heavy news.   News that felt like someone knocked the wind out of me, and at the same time, snatched my heart out of my chest. News that had me on the phone with two of my closest confidants barely being able to talk because of what I was processing. News that made me really sit, strategize, reevaluate, and reprioritize different things in my life. News that had me reaching out to my prayer warrior friends to intercede on my behalf. And news that had me petitioning heartfelt prayers to God with the words, “If I can do this, God, let’s move forward. If not, I need you to help me get through this. Not my will but yours. You’re still so good, even when I get what I want and when I don’t.”   Then I stepped away and waited. Then He answered. And then with His approval and a whole lot of faith (with works), I’ve been handling my business. And though there have been times when I’ve been tired, discouraged, and uncertain of what the...