This special drawer should be filled with a variety of personal favorites that make you feel incredible about yourself when you look in the mirror. In my experience, lingerie is a great expression of self-care, especially when it comes to building confidence.
I know that lingerie is often associated with how it can make one’s partner feel, but I don’t believe lingerie is just about the male gaze. I believe it’s more so about how it can make a woman feel who chooses to wear it.
As a Christian woman, I struggled (for years) with a lot of shame about my body, expressing my sexuality, and exploring it. I had a lot of unlearning to work through because of some of the controlling and shame-based teachings I was taught in different church communities. During my freshman year of college, I purchased my first thong, and when I came home on spring break, I felt like this was some dirty secret I needed to hide. When my mother did my laundry and discovered my new purchase, she was surprised.
And I was totally embarrassed.
I told my friends about what happened, and they thought it was the funniest thing ever. Apparently, they’d been buying thong panties, lace panties, and all kinds of lingerie for a while. Looking back, I had nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. I was 18 and exploring the world of lingerie for the first time. It should have been more of a celebratory time than an embarrassing one.
As I got older and grew more comfortable with myself, I became a regular at Victoria’s Secret. There was something special about celebrating my womanhood and having a variety of my very own lingerie to dress up in. This was about embracing and enjoying my body instead of feeling ashamed about it. I can’t imagine how many religious organizations messed up a lot of young women, who, like me, may still be recovering in different ways to this day. It’s a process.
In 2020 during the pandemic, I learned that Rihanna dropped her own lingerie line (Savage X Fenty) and I was immediately hooked. I’ve always been a fan of hers, so I couldn’t wait to see her designs and vision for the brand. Especially the diversity and inclusivity showcased in her fashion shows. Women (and men) of all different shapes, sizes, and ethnicities, proudly and confidently walked the runway in her shows modeling lingerie from her line. And it was something special. She was sending an intentional message about the power of inclusivity.
Some women really don’t like or appreciate their bodies. They criticize themselves. They compare. And they wrestle with fears and insecurities about how they look when they don’t have to.
This past summer I went through a kidney donor surgery that permanently scarred my beautifully toned waist. No matter what I do, the scar isn’t going anywhere. But do you think that stops me from putting on my lingerie?
Absolutely not. Me (and my sexy surgery scar) are together for life. Lingerie and all.
With Valentine’s Day arriving soon, I felt that it was important for all women to indulge in a little self-care. And why not start with some lingerie? Put it on, walk around your home in it, and celebrate how amazing you are.
Because you deserve it. Buy the lingerie, sis.