Recently, college football superstar and future NFL prospect, Travis Hunter, became a source of media scrutiny and controversy regarding his relationship with his fiancée, Leanna Lenee. Much of the criticism was around his fiancée and comments she shared about how she wasn’t initially interested in Travis before they started dating. Additionally, she received backlash regarding the couple’s interactions at the close of one of Colorado’s football games and during the Heisman Trophy ceremony. Many have speculated that if Travis wasn’t a successful, well-known, and high-earning athlete, she likely wouldn’t be interested in him at all.
When I initially saw the internet going in about the couple, and warning Travis to be careful, I didn’t have anything to say. I’m a mind my own business kind of person, so other people’s relationships aren’t anything I get involved in. However, this situation made me think about something bigger: Black male athletes and their dating preferences. Why not have an important conversation about race, prominent Black men, and dating within (and outside of) the Black community?
As a young Black woman in my thirties and a longtime sports fan, I’ve seen the growing trend of prominent Black male athletes, in college and in the professional sports world, who mostly or exclusively choose to date, marry, or start families with non-Black women. Some of these guys end up being taken advantage of… while others manage to avoid getting caught up. Some of these same guys also unnecessarily drag Black women in the process too, and sadly, allow and encourage their non-Black partners to do the same. Which is a dangerous, painful, and toxic way to move.
It's not cool or funny to stereotype Black women as angry, bitter, mouthy, ratchet, gold diggers, too difficult, too strong, or too independent.
I don’t think people truly understand how damaging these stereotypes can be. Instead, Black women are dismissed as “haters” and expected to sit down and shut up while everyone else says whatever they want about us. And that’s not okay.
On the other hand, I’ve also seen groups of other Black athletes who proudly choose Black women, and respect and protect us too. While I don’t have an issue with interracial couples, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there have been times when I’ve felt some type of way about Black athletes, and Black men in general, who aren’t partnered with Black women. Here’s why.
Many non-Black women are essentially born with a privileged head-start in life, in almost every area of life, which is why a lot of Black women get upset when they see prominent Black men, especially athletes, with non-Black women. The playing field isn’t always fair, and often, not in our favor, so, the disappointment is understandable. However, I don’t believe all Black male athletes or Black men move the same way when it comes to the kind of women they choose.
I must admit that there’s something special about witnessing the union of a beautiful Black couple. I’m talking about couples like Magic and Cookie Johnson. LeBron and Savannah James. Steph and Ayesha Curry. Dwyane and Gabrielle Union-Wade. Chris and Jada Paul. Russell Wilson and Ciara. Jonathan Owens and Simone Biles. Michael and Kijafa Vick. And many more. It gives hope to many single and successful Black women in the world who are watching and often overlooked, ridiculed, disrespected, and disregarded as viable options. So when I see gifted and hard working Black athletes waiting to be drafted professionally, and see some of the non-Black women who are by their sides as they’re announced as the next round draft pick, I wonder why some of them have chosen not to partner with a Black woman. Surely there are many eligible Black women on their college campuses, in their social circles, and within the professional athletic spaces and environments they’re navigating too. Right?
I had the chance to speak with a former well-known Black athlete in the Hampton Roads area, who played basketball in high school, college, and professionally, and was very open with me about his dating history. He talked to me about women who were only interested in him because he played basketball, the “one” woman who got away that he didn’t appreciate until later in life, and how playing sports doesn’t have the financial stability people think it does from the outside looking in. Additionally, he shared that he never dated outside his race and that he loves Black women. I was honestly shocked. Mainly because a lot of Black men with his background as an athlete don’t always feel the same when it comes to dating.
I applaud Black men who choose to be with Black women. Especially in a world that doesn’t always protect, respect, or recognize us.
The Black community needs to see Black couples getting together and Black families remaining together while navigating life’s challenges, establishing generational wealth, breaking generational curses, and building new legacies. Black women are just as worthy and capable of having healthy and safe relationships, incredible love stories, and extraordinary partnerships, just like the women who don’t look like us get to have too.