Drop Everything And Read: Everything Happens For A Reason (And Other Lies I’ve Loved)

Imagine waking up to your best life. In this best life scenario, you’ve worked hard to get where you are, are finally experiencing the fruits of your labor, and are blessed beyond measure. All your basic needs have been met. You also have a great family and incredible friends, you’re employed and have an income, and things are going very well for you. And then, without notice, your best life begins to get a little uncomfortable when you experience an awful aching in your body. You dismiss it as nothing… until you realize your aching has grown progressively worse. Then, when you see your doctor, and they tell you you’re fine, you still know that you’re not and ask to be checked out again.

Your doctor runs some tests and when you return to your best life as you wait for the test results, you receive a phone call that changes your life forever. Your aches aren’t just temporary pain. The pain you’ve been experiencing is bad. Real bad. Stage 4 colon cancer bad. And then suddenly, you realize that your life will never be the same. Such was the case for Kate Bowler in her extraordinary book titled Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lies I’ve Loved). This book is a must-read, and it details the journey of a woman moving through a tragic diagnosis while also unpacking the Christian world of rejoicing and keeping the faith in times of suffering. This is probably one of the best books I’ve read this year, and it moved me in ways I didn’t anticipate. So often we move through our lives not realizing how blessed we are until something tragic happens that causes us to slow down and take inventory of how precious and short time and life can be. Bowler writes, “Plans are made. Plans come apart. New delights or tragedies pop up in their place. And nothing human or divine will map out this life, this life that has been more painful than I could have imagined. More beautiful than I could have imagined.” If you’re looking for an extraordinary book to read or to gift a loved one with this holiday season, Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lies I’ve Loved) is an excellent choice.

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Stop Saying Stupid Stuff To People Who Are Childless

I’m convinced that many people don’t think before they speak. Especially when it comes to interacting with people who don’t have children. Normally, I’ve held my peace with this and felt the need to solely address women when it comes to this topic, but lately this is a message that men can benefit from too. Stop saying stupid stuff to people who don’t have children . I know this might be a difficult task for those of you who are nosey, have concerns that have nothing to do with you, or may be unhappy in your own life, but stop with the questions, jokes, and reckless comments. Even if you believe you’re being funny, making conversation, or coming from a genuine place, you’re honestly out of line. Because someone not having children and why is none of your business. I don’t have children, and I honestly don’t know if I will, but as a woman, I’m good with my life either way. I’ll always be grateful for what I have instead of lamenting about what I don’t. Which is probably why getting olde...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

Making Waves