Drop Everything And Read: Everything Happens For A Reason (And Other Lies I’ve Loved)

Imagine waking up to your best life. In this best life scenario, you’ve worked hard to get where you are, are finally experiencing the fruits of your labor, and are blessed beyond measure. All your basic needs have been met. You also have a great family and incredible friends, you’re employed and have an income, and things are going very well for you. And then, without notice, your best life begins to get a little uncomfortable when you experience an awful aching in your body. You dismiss it as nothing… until you realize your aching has grown progressively worse. Then, when you see your doctor, and they tell you you’re fine, you still know that you’re not and ask to be checked out again.

Your doctor runs some tests and when you return to your best life as you wait for the test results, you receive a phone call that changes your life forever. Your aches aren’t just temporary pain. The pain you’ve been experiencing is bad. Real bad. Stage 4 colon cancer bad. And then suddenly, you realize that your life will never be the same. Such was the case for Kate Bowler in her extraordinary book titled Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lies I’ve Loved). This book is a must-read, and it details the journey of a woman moving through a tragic diagnosis while also unpacking the Christian world of rejoicing and keeping the faith in times of suffering. This is probably one of the best books I’ve read this year, and it moved me in ways I didn’t anticipate. So often we move through our lives not realizing how blessed we are until something tragic happens that causes us to slow down and take inventory of how precious and short time and life can be. Bowler writes, “Plans are made. Plans come apart. New delights or tragedies pop up in their place. And nothing human or divine will map out this life, this life that has been more painful than I could have imagined. More beautiful than I could have imagined.” If you’re looking for an extraordinary book to read or to gift a loved one with this holiday season, Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lies I’ve Loved) is an excellent choice.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

Dear Young Black Professionals

As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...

Making Waves