The Steps Of A Good Woman

Living and moving through the uncertainties of life can feel uncomfortable sometimes. Whether you’re a person of faith or not, not knowing what’s going to happen next can stir feelings of stress, worry, anxiousness, anxiety, uneasiness, and discomfort. If I can be honest, lately, I’ve been wrestling with a combination of these things. I’ve recently entered an exciting yet busy season of teaching, new (and super-duper exciting) writing opportunities, training a new fur baby, and grad school – all of which I’m thankful for, however as I move forward, I’m also aware that the world is still moving through a global pandemic, along with people who refuse to wear masks and others who refuse to get vaccinated to stop the spread. Which is scary, especially when so many men, women, and children are getting sick and dying. It’s also been disappointing living in a culture of entitlement, seeing the celebration and rapid normalization of bogus behavior, and observing the condemnation of people who are trying to live their lives right.

I’ve also been praying about some specific areas I’d like to see change, and while I know God hears me and isn’t limited by my limitations, there have still been days when I’ve doubted Him and felt down and discouraged. Regardless of how I may feel, I’ve still prayed about being consistent and have strived to remain faithful and obedient to Him. Even through a pandemic, prayers that seem to be on hold, and uncertainties that have left me with a lot of questions. One thing that’s brought me to a place of peace is knowing that no matter what happens next, my steps are already ordered by the Lord. Psalm 37:23-24 reads, “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”

I’ve had some good days, and I’ve had some challenging and frustrating ones, but knowing that my steps are already ordered, and that God is still in control helps. I want to be a good woman. I want to be in the spaces and places God wants me to be. I want what He wants for me. I want to move with purpose. I want to shift the culture in positive ways. And I want to move through my thirties with joy, contentment, peace, prosperity, success, and exciting moments and memories that I won’t forget. I’m not entirely sure of what my future holds, but I’m choosing to trust the one who holds it.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves