I Binged Watched Insecure For The First Time Ever

I Binged Watched Insecure For The First Time Ever – And Here’s What I Thought

Before I dive into this, let me just say that I think Issa Rae is a creative genius. Really. She’s like the BFF I’ve always wanted but never had. Before watching her series Insecure, I’d read her book titled The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl and thought it was brilliant. At one point, I ended up in tears from laughing while reading about her insights on life. I never kept up with Insecure past the first season when it originally aired, but I can remember laughing so hard at the first episode that my sides started hurting. I love how the show has a comedic approach and brings viewers into the reality of what life is like for many Black women moving through the complexities of work life, adult friendships, finding love, and everything else in between. It’s entertaining stuff.

Recently, I had the chance to catch up on every season (I just learned that the fifth and final season will be airing this fall), and as I watched each episode, I couldn’t believe some of the storylines that followed: there were messy breakups, women navigating the world of situationships, ho phases, and hotation lists, exploring the world of open marriages, and addressing hostile and sometimes bizarre friendships. There were even awkward moments that were so brutally cringeworthy they made me want to hide for cover at times. For real. The series is unapologetically bold. The dialogue is hilarious. And the characters are unforgettable.

As I binged, I wondered, are people really out here living like this? I know it's just a TV show, but all that inspiration had to come from somewhere. I texted one of my friends mid-way through season two to be sure. And she replied: 😂😂😂😂 girl, it's like that times ten. Mind. Blown. But still, the show is irresistible. Seeing fully formed Black characters moving and evolving through the peaks and pits of adulthood reminded me that figuring things out takes time – there is no one way street or formula to getting your life together. You're going to make mistakes (and prayerfully learn from them and do better), get your heart broken, heal, question yourself, reevaluate the direction you want your life to go, make changes, and meet some dope people along the way. And a show like Insecure reminds me that we're all a work in progress.

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves