About Being An Alpha Female

I can go down a list of times when I’ve asked different guys for help during different times in my life, and each time I’ve asked for help or reached out for assistance with things like car repairs, technical support, emotional support, or help with lifting and physically carrying an item that was hard for me to carry on my own, taking trash out to a dumpster at work (in a past role) or even something as small as responding to a text or a phone call, the following has happened:

• I’ve been ignored.
• Insulted.
• Humiliated.
• Disrespected.
• And talked down to. 

When you are a woman repeatedly treated this way, inevitably, you either won’t get what you need, or you learn to figure a lot of different things out on your own. It can get tough sometimes, but you’ll find a way to figure things out. Honestly, I believe that women wouldn’t have to carry so much if guys would step their game up. I’ve even heard unsettling stories from married women who opened up to me about times when their own husbands wouldn’t show up for them when they needed them to. Even when they clearly communicated that they needed help. Which seems crazy since you would think that the person someone chooses to marry would be there for them when it matters. My perception is that many (not all), but many, of the men in today's world, are massively selfish and clueless. I’ve never met a guy who made me feel like I was a priority. Ever. So when I got tired of it, I started making myself a priority. When I started moving like this, I was frequently told I was “intimidating,” “too independent,” and referred to as an “alpha female.” Which is interesting because if I was a guy, I’d likely never be called any of those things. Also, I like being an alpha female and being able to hold myself down. It’s better than being at the mercy of a guy who either can’t help me or won’t.

 

My whole thing is that if someone doesn’t help you, won’t help you, or offers to help, you have to find ways to help yourself. Or else you won’t get the help or support you need. When I turned 30 and got tired of praying, waiting, and trying to meet someone who had their stuff together, I started making moves. 

• I made a career change and went back to school.
• I purchased and closed on my first home two days before my 31^st birthday (fun fact: my closing date also happened to fall on the same day as International Women’s Day, which is cool, considering I bought my place on my own 😎.
• And this past summer, I adopted a German Shepherd/Siberian Husky puppy who loves me just as much as I love her. 

I'm not putting my life on hold for anyone. And I'm not going to let anyone waste my time, take advantage of me, or play with my life. I'm often baffled by women who voluntarily play themselves and give themselves, their time, and their energy over to men who aren't helpful. They lay up and have babies with guys who won't seriously commit to them (a baby won't make him stay, sis, so be careful). They date guys who use them, lie to them, won't publicly claim them, cheat on them, and live off them. And I can't believe the number of women who stay with guys who string them along for several years before they decide to propose... or not. That's bold living right there. If you can support yourself financially, pay for anything that needs to be repaired, or taken care of, and can figure everything else out along the way? You can take care of yourself. I wonder how the culture would shift if more women positioned themselves this way. It would be an interesting thing to see.