Years ago, I decided to keep my status private and hidden. And though this may seem like an odd choice to some, I’ve learned that at the end of the day, your relationship and relationship status are not anyone else’s business but your own. You don’t need to be “Facebook Official” or “Instagram Official” to have a happy and healthy relationship. You can enjoy being with the person you’re with and build new memories and special moments together offline. I know this isn’t a popular thing to do, but it’s at least worth trying. If you are spoken for, you can make that clear through sharing photos of who you’re with if you’d like – although I don’t recommend doing so unless you’re certain you’re with someone you plan on being with for good. If things don’t work out, you can walk away quietly and discreetly without taking a ton of photos down, responding to nosey people who want to know what happened, and more. You’ll at least have the space to detach, unfollow, block, delete phone numbers, cry, mourn, feel the feels, and move on privately. I’ve seen way too many people use social media as an outlet to express their excitement and disappointment when things have been up and when they’ve been down in the dating world (I’ve been there). But now that I’m older, I can see the value in maintaining one’s composure by moving on privately.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with sharing some photos and letting everyone know how happy you are. It’s just important to know that the moment you post anything about your relationship: a status update, a relationship status change, or a photo of who you’re with, it invites others into your relationship who may feel they reserve the right to comment, criticize, and critique what you’re doing. It also doesn’t stop ratchet people who don’t have good boundaries from shooting their shot (popular phrase for pursuing someone you’re interested in), making inappropriate comments under posted photos, or sending private messages to people they know are spoken for. I know this sounds crazy, but there are a ton of bogus people out here living like that. There are also people who post sexually explicit and suggestive photos of themselves for attention. And it’s one of the most unsettling things I’ve ever seen. It’s honestly sad how some people are okay with diminishing their self-worth and dignity for the sake of approval, likes, and a following.
I don’t have a problem with couples who do put their relationships out there, I just wonder why people feel the need to do so. Relationships are already work. Going public with someone is even more work that can lead to unnecessary advice and commentary from family, friends, and followers who feel like your love life is their business – which it’s not. I’ve had different family members, casual friends, and even some associates and colleagues I barely know on a personal level ask me about my relationship status and even my sexual orientation. For the record, I’m a heterosexual woman only interested in men – and saying that out loud felt odd when I was asked. And while I don’t have to explain myself to anyone, questions about my sexual orientation show how some people feel like they have the right to know things about you that they don’t.
How you decide to approach relationships is your choice. Just know that everyone doesn't need to know everything about you or who you're with. If you're interested in someone and you're not sure if they're single or not, you could always ask them if you're able to communicate with them. But if you see or know that they're not available, back off. Being a side piece or homewrecker isn't a good look for anyone. Plus, what goes around comes around. If you ever do something like that to someone else, the same will happen to you once you meet someone you're happy with. So be careful. Don't let this world or the culture or what everyone else appears to be doing drive your decision making.