*Rashad and *Shanice had been close friends for a long time. They chilled together, confided in one another, and were super close. They even shared the same Christian faith. Shanice was especially vocal about her faith, open about her walk with God, and was well-known for being a good girl. She was smart, successful, and beautiful, and many young women looked up to her too. She even had a huge social media following because of her status as a fashion influencer. But as Shanice’s popularity grew, Rashad noticed some changes in how she started presenting herself on Instagram.
Shanice was already a naturally beautiful woman, but suddenly, she began posting revealing pictures of herself in bikinis, booty shorts, and revealing dresses. When Rashad noticed what was happening, he told Shanice she was someone on a higher level who didn’t have to be the kind of woman posting thirst traps for attention. When Shanice learned how Rashad felt, she got upset and defensive, and things got heated when she told him, “I can post whatever I want.” Sadly, their friendship eventually faded.
The whole situation was unfortunate.
But I believe it speaks to how much peer pressure can influence different women in our culture. It also reveals how some men feel and what different ones really think about women who post thirst traps (a provocative social media photo with the intent to draw attention or “thirst” from followers).
Some men seem to enjoy drooling over thirst traps, and others? Not so much. I’ve spoken with some who aren’t fans.
I’ve listened to different guys share their unfiltered thoughts on this topic, and I’ll never forget some of their words. One guy told me, “I don’t know what this new thing is all about with women posting pictures of their butts. My whole thing is that sugar honey iced tea attracts flies.” Another shared that he thought half-naked pics were “thirsty” and that he didn’t care much for women presenting themselves in that way. And there have been plenty more who’ve had a lot to say too. I can personally testify to the fact that some guys aren’t into the trend of thirst trapping. I once had a guy open up to me about this, and he told me, “I like the way you look and the way you carry yourself.” I was flattered and surprised because I’d never had a guy tell me something like that before. It was refreshing to hear because I’ve often felt overlooked among women out here thirst trapping.
I’ve seen tons of thirst trap photos – from men and women – some of which at times have been shocking and appalling to the point where I’ve had to unfollow different people on social media. The most obscene ones I’ve seen were borderline pornographic as the people in them were practically naked. What’s been particularly disappointing about this is seeing different men I know liking, loving, and commenting up under photos posted of half-naked women who seem to enjoy receiving the attention. I know men are visual. It’s just unsettling to witness their online behavior sometimes.
I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with a woman wanting to be attractive, beautiful, or sexy (even Queen Bey recommends stepping out in a nice freakum dress every once in a while 😊). And I certainly don’t think it’s wrong for a woman to love and appreciate her body, but it’s all in the presentation. The question is, how are you choosing to present yourself to the world? And if you’re a woman reading this, what kind of guys are you trying to attract? Also, have you ever considered what kind of example you’re setting for younger generations of women who may be looking up to you?
I know this may be a lot to digest but pause for a moment and spend some time thinking about this.
I’ve had to check in with myself at different times regarding my own choices in clothing, including swimwear. I own and wear bikinis to the beach, and I love one-pieces too. However, some might argue that a Christian woman wearing a bikini is a controversial and hypocritical act (I was once called a sinner for wearing one). But when it comes to my swimwear, I feel zero shame or conviction. However, it’s never been my intention to use my moments at the beach as an opportunity to thirst trap. I just really love spending time at the beach. It’s a beautiful, relaxing, and fun place to be.
Regardless of which men are into thirst traps and those who aren’t, we all reserve the right to make our own choices. What you choose to do is up to you. And I’m not here to judge. Just know that you don’t need to thirst trap to be seen, known, or to try to impress anyone.