The Prayer That Changed The Game For Me

The more I grow in my faith, the more comfortable I’m getting with surrendering the steps and outcomes of my life over to God concerning every area of my life. If He’s not orchestrating or approving the moves, the relationships, or the blessings in my life, I don’t want them or need them. After all, it would be insane for me to move forward without His consent. When I’ve made decisions without checking in with Him, I have, however, invited unnecessary stress, setbacks, pain, and humiliating moments into my life that could’ve been avoided if I’d just checked in with Him first.

His answers to all of our requests are usually yes, no, or not right now.

I honestly don’t like when I get a no or a not right now with different things I’ve prayed for, waited for, and felt ready for, but His ways are what’s best. Isaiah 55:8-9 reads, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

During different seasons when I wasn’t getting what I wanted, I felt like God was unfair. And I started questioning Him and wrestling with doubt. Now I have a things will happen the way He wants them to happen, or they won’t happen at all mindset. I no longer try to force outcomes and put my hands on things only He can do, change, or fix. Distinguishing where I need to surrender by stepping aside and giving Him the space to move has been challenging to navigate sometimes but has ultimately been what’s best. My prayer of surrender (and one that’s changed the game for me) has typically gone -- God, this is what I want. If this is what you want, let’s do this. If not, help me to trust you have something else in mind. You’re still so good even when I get what I want and when I don’t.

I won’t make a career decision without Him.

I won’t sign a contract or take a business deal without Him.

I won’t accept a relationship, a proposal, or a marriage without Him.

I won’t make a life-changing decision without Him.

And I won’t do life without Him.

I need His approval and confirmation first.

Surrendering to what God wants for you will always be better than what you think is best for you, even if you don’t like or fully understand what He’s doing in the process. The processing stage is necessary. It’s also the birthing place of transition. It’s the same place your endurance is being built, your patience is being strengthened, and your character and motives are being tested and developed so that you’re ready for what He has for you.

The question is will you go your own way, or will you align yourself with what God wants for you?

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves