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When Shooting Your Shot Goes… Awkward

“Shooting your shot” is a phrase often used in reference to someone pursuing someone else they’re interested in. After being on the initiating and receiving end of this exchange, I’ve found it to be equal parts flattering, risky, and a bit of a rush. It’s flattering getting approached. It’s a risk to put yourself out there to pursue someone you want to know a little better and being open to doing so. And shooting your shot can also usher in a rush of all kinds of feelings. However, things can get super awkward and embarrassing if there’s little to no interest between the person shooting their shot and the intended recipient.

Awhile back, I spotted a cute guy I’d been interested in for quite some time. He seemed chill, so I thought I’d shoot my shot. And guess what? When I did, he ignored me. More than once. I promise you that I wasn’t being aggressive or thirsty. I just reached out a few times and I was able to take a hint when he didn’t communicate with me. Believe it or not, this has happened to me almost every time I’ve taken on the role of being the initiator in a shoot your shot scenario. I’ve also been ghosted on by different guys I thought were interested in me until they weren’t. And though I’ve recovered from these massively cringeworthy and ego-crushing moments, if anything, they’ve taught me a vital lesson. I’ve learned not to force or manipulate relationships. I’m not being passive or afraid to put myself out there, it’s just that I don’t want to play God and I certainly don’t want to get involved with anyone who’s not interested. Different women I know and some I’ve looked up to have had similar experiences and have sought closure from guys who’ve given them mixed signals, ghosted on them, or straight up ignored them. And to my surprise, some have even gone as far as posting lengthy and fiery rants on social media about their experiences. And while it can be disappointing getting turned down, it’s honestly not the end of the world. There are other guys. Also, I’d rather process being turned down in private over confronting a guy for closure. I’ve found that most guys aren’t the best communicators anyway, and unfortunately, some of them would rather ignore and avoid you than tell you face-to-face or over the phone that they’re really not feeling you. Again, it’s not the end of the world.

 

Before I turned 31 this month and even after, different people in my life had frequently been asking me about my relationship status. And while the state of my status used to be an emotional trigger for me, I’m wholeheartedly good where I’m at. I also know that I’m more than my relationship status. And so are you. While I have no plans on shooting my shot anytime soon, I’m not against women who do. For some, things turn out just fine. But for others, maybe not so much. If you’re anything like me and have had those awkward moments, unanswered texts, and have been ignored, trust me when I say that you will still be okay. Being ignored or rejected or ghosted could very well be God protecting you from someone who’s not the best for you. In the meantime, stay amazing, be encouraged, and enjoy your life. You never know what (or who) God has in mind for you. 

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