I don’t think anything could have fully prepared any of us for the new normal we’d have to adjust to as the pandemic inevitably changed our lives. This was also the year I turned 30, and while I’m not exactly sure when 30 became the go-to age where a lot of people think you’re supposed to have it all and have everything figured out – I’ve got a confession: I don’t have everything figured out. Which is why I find it odd whenever some of my friends, family members, and people who don’t know me well refer to me as a put-together person who has things figured out. I do have a very blessed and full life that I appreciate, but honestly, I’m still figuring things out as I go.
In different ways, I believe all of us are.
If you’re approaching 30 soon or are already there, please try not to freak out if things haven’t come together as you’ve hoped. Five years ago, I had a quarter-life crisis moment a few days after my 25th birthday, which included a long and lengthy ugly cry, pity party, and wasted time ruminating about all the things I didn’t have or accomplish. I promise you that no one has it all “figured out.” At best, we’re all doing the best we can and figuring things out as we go. That said, I’ve taken some time to reflect on some memorable moments that happened as I turned 30 this year.
I had to regroup, reset, and reflect. Before I turned 30, there were three goals I had set for 2020 – get a new job, travel, and purchase my own home. I had things mapped out towards the end of 2019 before 2020 even arrived. There were dates set on my calendar, active steps that were taken, and lots of prayer and fasting too. I wasn’t messing around. I was focused and determined. Then March came, and everything came to a halt. Once the coronavirus spread, my 30th birthday trip and future travel plans were cancelled, a big networking event I was hoping to attend to land a new career opportunity was cancelled, and about a few months after I met with a wonderful realtor I’d been working with and took my first-time homebuyers course, my plans to buy my first home were put on hold as well. And I was upset about it all. Once I let myself process and grieve my disappointments about being unable to travel, temporarily remaining at a job I was miserable in, and postponing purchasing my own home, I got myself together and regrouped, reset, and reflected on how to move forward as the year continued. I’m frequently learning that delays are not denials, and often, God uses the delays in our lives to humble us, improve our characters, check our motives, and develop our patience as we pray and work to accomplish our goals.
I won my first writing competition. When I hit a low point this year and was really feeling down and defeated, I turned to writing. An opportunity from a local church to enter a writing contest for writing an original Psalm came my way via social media, and I decided to submit my work. To my surprise, I won first place in the contest and a $200 cash prize. I also found out the Psalm I wrote would be published after the winners were announced. I didn’t expect to win, so it was awesome having that moment to hold on to. I put my heart, pain, and sorrows into that Psalm, and it was cool having the opportunity to express myself and honor God with it.
I landed an unexpected interview. One morning when I was on Facebook, I received a message from a young woman living in Cape Town, South Africa about an article I wrote for Thought Catalog a year ago about the Netflix mini-series When They See Us. She was a college student who wanted to interview me for her school assignment. She asked me how I was doing with everything that was going on in the world and expressed how she felt moved by my work. Her message arrived right around the time the world was going through a tumultuous state of hatred and racism, as more Black lives were killed at a horrible and heartbreaking capacity. Different cities and states were erupting with protests and many people were justifiably upset, so receiving an unexpected message with a request for an interview about an article I wrote was surprising and flattering. I couldn’t believe it. I never imagined that anything I wrote would resonate deeply with someone so far away, and I’m so thankful and privileged to do what I love. Writing means the world to me and connecting with others through it is one of the best feelings ever.
I was featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine. One of the coolest things about being a writer is seeing your name and work in print for the first time. It can really change your life. This year, as the Black Lives Matter movement took off and continued to grow, there was an abrupt and overwhelming amount of support from different groups, businesses, and corporations who were clear on where they stood regarding Black lives, racism, and police brutality. Cosmopolitan Magazine, which has been one of my favorite magazines that I’ve read and supported since my twenties, provided an opportunity for their Black readers to submit and share their honest thoughts and feelings about everything that was happening as Black lives were being treated as if they didn’t matter. I was able to contribute and was later contacted by one of Cosmo’s editors about my submission and informed that it would be shared on their website, along with my writing portfolio being linked out. Connecting with Cosmo was a dream come true, especially since I’ve wanted to work for them since I was in college. I never thought I’d get the chance to.
I made a career change. As mentioned above, before this year started, I was already working on finding a new job. I’d been working as an academic advisor and communications specialist at a Christian organization for about three years, and I knew I couldn’t go another year enduring the stress, discontentment, and lack of job stability where I was. The work climate and culture were hostile and toxic and were heavily affecting my mental and physical health, so I had to leave. I already had plans to resign by December of this year if something hadn’t opened up, and since people were frequently being let go and I was being set up for termination anyway, I continued searching, applying, and interviewing for new career opportunities before and during the pandemic. I knew I was taking some huge faith risks and betting on myself without knowing what would be next for me, but everything worked out because, by the end of the summer, I landed a new position as a middle school English teacher -- during a global pandemic. Rarely does a day go by when I’m not thankful and abundantly grateful for the rewarding opportunity God’s blessed me with. My primary focus is on teaching literacy to students struggling with their reading and writing skills, and so far, things have been good. There were a handful of people happy for me when this door opened and others who were very skeptical and discouraging of my ability and qualifications to teach, but I’m enjoying taking on a new endeavor, furthering my education, and stepping into what God’s called me to. Know this, when God opens a door for you, it doesn’t have to make sense to everyone else. I’m learning to do me and ignore the noise, criticism, and opinions from others.
I know this hasn’t been an easy year for many of us, but I hope you’re able to take some time to reflect on what this year has been like for you and can note some special moments that came from it. Take good care of yourself and have a safe and Happy New Year 😌.