I’ll never forget the time I asked my high school crush out on a date.
I told him I liked him and asked him if he wanted to go to the Friday night basketball game our school was having. Looking back, I’m surprised at how bold I was. He and I were friends, and since it was senior year, I thought, why not take the risk? There I was. Standing. Smiling. And eagerly waiting for a response. He looked at me, smiled, and then he said, “Yeah, *Shaquan (*not her real name) told me you liked me.”
“Cool, so would you wanna go to the game together?” I asked.
“Um, I gotta work on Friday,” he replied. Which was a no. But instead of just saying no, he did what most teenage guys did. Came up with an excuse instead of being upfront. So I didn’t go to the game that night. But I found out he went and was there when one of my friends texted me and told me she saw him. Oh well. I put myself out there and took the risk. And can’t ever say that I didn’t.
Sometimes you have to take risks to get what you want. These days, I haven’t been spending my time asking dudes out on dates (I much prefer to let guys make the first move), but I’ve been more intentional about taking risks for what I want. I spent a great deal of my twenties playing a lot of things safe. And often, that kind of behavior rarely took me forward. It kept me stuck. And it took a while for me to understand that life outside the comfort zone is worth exploring. Whether it means approaching someone you find attractive, or applying for a new career opportunity, or taking a promotion that will take time to grow into, or sharing a story you’ve been afraid to write, it’s all worth taking risks for. So how might one ease into risk-taking? Keep reading.
Move through the fear. Fear frequently stops people from going after what they want. And I get it. I’ve been there. And no matter what I’m feeling as far as fear is concerned, I’ve decided to move through my fears instead of around them. Taking risks for what you want can be scary, but if you don’t go for what you want, you’ll never have it. Will you be fearful and not get what you want? Or will you feel the fear and go forward anyway?
Go for it. I’ve gone after a lot of different things I didn’t get. But what’s important is that I at least went for what I wanted, even though I didn’t get some of the things I went for. Sometimes “going for it” will feel uncomfortable, as it should, since you’re likely stepping outside of your comfort zone. But what if you go for what you want, and things work out? You definitely won’t be mad at yourself for that.
Reflect. I’ve taken notes from approvals and rejections. Both have taught me a lot about myself, as well as what to do and what not to do differently the next time I take risks and go for what I want. You won’t always get what you want, which can be a good thing sometimes, but when you do, you’ll respect yourself for having the guts to take risks and building your risk-taking muscles to soar to new heights. So what are you waiting for?