Women I Choose Not To Support

While I’m all for female empowerment and women supporting other women, I have a confession to make. I don’t support every woman I meet or encounter. And for valid reasons. If you’re a woman reading this right now, I can probably guess a handful of thoughts running through your mind. But before you take my statement the wrong way, let me explain. I’m not a hater, shade-thrower, or someone who’s into tearing down other women. I’ve seen enough awful women who are about that life and I’m not here for it. Women who behave that way are the women I choose not to support. The haters. The shade-throwers. And the type who are into tearing down others. We all make mistakes and I won’t pretend I’m a woman who’s always been supportive of others. In the past, I’ve been dismissive, insecure, and felt I needed to compete with other women to get ahead. I’ve also clapped back at mean-spirited women when they’ve come at me sideways or said or did something petty aimed at me or others. But I’ve grown to realize that instead of responding to that kind of behavior, I could just ignore it. I’ve also met different women who have come to me with requests for help and support with their writing and branding and have asked me to contribute my time to their groups, events, and more, and while I do like to see other women get ahead, unfortunately, I’ve chosen to decline different invitations from women I’ve observed or know don’t have good intentions. Sure, I could still partner with some of them. But why be fake? I choose to build and work with women who are kind, genuine, and supportive of other women who have solid core values. If you’re a woman reading this, understand that you get to decide what kind of woman you want to be. Be the best you and be someone worth knowing and supporting. And always remember, there’s enough room for all of us to succeed.

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

A Taste At Colattao Coffee House

I love checking out new coffee spots. It’s nice to take in a space I haven’t been to before that’s so chill, it makes me want to go back and visit again and again. This is exactly how I felt when I stepped into Colattao Coffee House. The kind customer service, the amazing options, and the aesthetically pleasing décor were everything. The aroma of the freshly grounded coffee beans, along with the sight of their mouth-watering pastries didn’t hurt either. I’ve visited this spot just a few times, and always enjoyed myself, my drinks, and my food. It’s definitely worth the trip. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a cool and cozy spot for a solo outing or to meet up with a friend, I highly recommend checking out Colattao Coffee House sometime. You’ll enjoy it!

Making Waves