Women I Choose Not To Support

While I’m all for female empowerment and women supporting other women, I have a confession to make. I don’t support every woman I meet or encounter. And for valid reasons. If you’re a woman reading this right now, I can probably guess a handful of thoughts running through your mind. But before you take my statement the wrong way, let me explain. I’m not a hater, shade-thrower, or someone who’s into tearing down other women. I’ve seen enough awful women who are about that life and I’m not here for it. Women who behave that way are the women I choose not to support. The haters. The shade-throwers. And the type who are into tearing down others. We all make mistakes and I won’t pretend I’m a woman who’s always been supportive of others. In the past, I’ve been dismissive, insecure, and felt I needed to compete with other women to get ahead. I’ve also clapped back at mean-spirited women when they’ve come at me sideways or said or did something petty aimed at me or others. But I’ve grown to realize that instead of responding to that kind of behavior, I could just ignore it. I’ve also met different women who have come to me with requests for help and support with their writing and branding and have asked me to contribute my time to their groups, events, and more, and while I do like to see other women get ahead, unfortunately, I’ve chosen to decline different invitations from women I’ve observed or know don’t have good intentions. Sure, I could still partner with some of them. But why be fake? I choose to build and work with women who are kind, genuine, and supportive of other women who have solid core values. If you’re a woman reading this, understand that you get to decide what kind of woman you want to be. Be the best you and be someone worth knowing and supporting. And always remember, there’s enough room for all of us to succeed.

Dear Young Black Professionals

As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...

Black Male Athletes And Their Dating Preferences

In the 2017 horror film Get Out , there’s an unforgettable scene when one of the film’s villainous characters, Rose, a young white woman, is seen eating Fruit Loops and drinking a bottle of milk through a straw as she searches the internet for “Top NCAA prospects.” This moment in the film is frightening because the purpose of Rose’s search is to ultimately lure young and unsuspecting Black men to a deadly fate after she begins dating them. If you’ve seen the film, you know how everything ultimately turns out, but if you haven’t, you’ll have a better understanding of the bigger picture. Recently, college football superstar and future NFL prospect, Travis Hunter, became a source of media scrutiny and controversy regarding his relationship with his fiancée, Leanna Lenee. Much of the criticism was around his fiancée and comments she shared about how she wasn’t initially interested in Travis before they started dating. Additionally, she received backlash regarding the couple’s interact...

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Making Waves