Would you believe me if I told you I was once reprimanded at work for having a friendly conversation with another colleague while I was doing my work one morning?
I was informed that my chatter was too much and that I’d be giving off the impression that I didn’t have work that needed to be done. Even though I was actually working.
True story. This happened. And I have the receipts to prove it.
There was another time when a higher up sat next to me in my cubicle to make sure I was getting my work done and monitoring the way I was communicating. I was informed this would be done with others, but it wasn’t.
There was another time when I was informed that all of my work would be closely reviewed because there were concerns about my work performance after I’d made some mistakes. I’ll admit, mistakes were made (that I owned) but the directives and expectations given weren’t always clear and frequently changed. Also, upon review of my work, there were no issues found.
There was another time I was belittled when I asked questions about new processes I didn’t fully understand and essentially told to figure things out on my own. Although I’m smart, it takes time for me to pick up on certain things I’m not familiar with. This one was tough to push through, but I still did my best to do what I could while figuring things out along the way.
And there were a handful of other times when I endured comments and offensive things said to me about my clothes, the way I’ve worn my natural hair, the way I’ve talked, and my facial expressions. Unfortunately, I’ve learned that there will always be certain people who have subtle and not-so-subtle biases who will see you as nothing more than an “other” who needs to be quiet, stay in your place, and live in a box of what they think is appropriate. I received a few insincere apologies after some of these things happened and conditioned myself to keep my emotions in check and let things go, but that isn’t always an easy thing to do. I’ve been tired ya’ll. And frustrated and discouraged at different points too. And justifiably so.
I’ve stood up for myself and encouraged others to do the same. I’ve also learned when to hold my peace too. And there’s been a lot more that I intend to address at a later time, but for now, we’re here. And while some of these things are trivial, at times, I’ve allowed them to build, disrupt my peace, steal my joy, and weigh on my confidence and self-esteem.
God’s been stirring the nest.
When things like this happen sometimes people say, “The enemy’s been busy…” and while it’s true that he can use people we interact with to be petty, nasty, rigid, and cause unnecessary problems, I also believe God allows conflict and opposition in our lives to teach us some important things about how to interact with others we don’t like or particularly care for, how to treat others with respect, and how to use what’s happening to build our characters. As much as I haven’t liked going through the things I’ve mentioned above, I praise God for the opposition. Because on a spiritual level, I know what’s happening.
Like mother eagles preparing to push their baby eaglets out of the nest, God stirs our nests sometimes: in our workplaces, families, relationships, and more, to get our attention and let us know that something bigger is happening beyond the things happening to us that seem unfair, unjust, and at times unbelievable. When I went through something like this in a past season, I remember how and when God showed up for me. Everything ended up working out for my good. He took me to something bigger and better, and while it was uncomfortable, I ended up where I needed to be as the seasons shifted.
And He’ll do it again.
If you’re in a stirring nest season right now, I pray that you will be encouraged and continue to encourage others who need it the most. Don’t lose your hope, joy, and especially not your smile. Be thankful for where you’re at right now and for where you’re going. Observe and learn what God is trying to teach you. Lean into the character building, pruning, and grooming and pass the tests. Don’t worry about the people giving you a hard time or the things they’re doing. God will handle them. Focus on what He’s guiding you to do. Everything is going to work out just fine.