I Ordered My First Pair Of Shapewear (Please Don’t Judge Me)

I’m a novice when it comes to the world of shapewear.

For years, I wondered how different women I’d seen in photos had the most amazing figures that consisted of a tiny waist and curves that fell in just the right places. This past December I learned the truth: shapewear. A lot of these women have been wearing shapewear under their dresses and other outfits and that’s why they look so snatched. If you’re reading this right now and wondering if I’ve been living under a rock, that’s fine. I’m so late it’s not even funny. Or maybe it is.

I go to the gym, workout regularly, count calories, and have been able to maintain a nice waist and keep my curves in check, but there are areas of my body that could benefit from shapewear when it comes to certain dresses I’d love to wear. Since it’s my birthday month, I’ve been able to do some retail therapy. Which led to the purchase of a gorgeous, sexy, curve-hugging, buttoned-down yellow dress from New York & Company. I love everything about this dress and how it fits, except for one thing: my waist could be a little slimmer to help complement the look. So I ordered my first pair of shapewear.

Hello Spanx.

This is a new thing for me. I know I don't need them, but I see how they can help when it comes to accentuating the positive and smoothing down the areas I want, well, slimmer. I'll admit, I was apprehensive at first after seeing jokes on social media from guys I follow who have poked fun at women who wear shapewear, however, this is a risk I'm willing to take. I love my body. And this is not a purchase I'm ashamed of. I know I'm not the only one.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

Dear Young Black Professionals

As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...

Making Waves